Testimonies

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Sha's Story
I was molested at 2 or maybe it was 3
and suddenly I felt different
Felt like screaming help,
someone touched me.
But I didnt tell a soul, didnt say a word
I just kept it all inside
and so my story was never heard.
Didnt think to tell Mom you see
she had her own trials
Cause Dad was locked up in the pen
Just to see him we traveled miles.
Mom drug us back and forth
just for a little time to spend
Until one day the call came
Dads life had come to an end.
What now, what do we do
Mom took a deep breath
and looked around
and said weve got to move
Before we got the chance though
there came another fright
I woke up with the house on fire
In the middle of the night.
Everything was gone now
We had nothing to our name
Fatherless and homeless
and carrying hidden shame .
We spent some time in a shelter
Wondering what was next
We finally got a placement
And moved to the projects.
Time went on and I got older
My looks began to change
In looking at my siblings
I saw we didnt look the same.
I started askin questions
for I already had some proof
I kept wondering and asking
until i finally learned the truth.
The man who I had known and lost
wasnt really my Dad
Now I had to meet somebody else
and that really made me sad
For I had trouble trusting new people
especially a man
because of my past experience
I wanted to run and say I cant
But then I finally met my father
and he was quiet just like me
Didnt know how much we were alike
It took me a long time to see.
When I realized he hadnt told me he loved me
because he was so soft spoken
I realized I hadnt told him either
and now hes gone and my heart is broken
I hit those odd teen years
and started actin out
Lookin for luv in all the wrong place
was headed for trouble, no doubt
I thought that if I gave myself
Id getuce a hit record
he called himself T-won
I suddenly felt invisible
cause he was focused on our son.
See our oldest boy was spittin rhymes
to T-wons Christian tracks
but I thought this was hypocritical
cuz he wasnt up to satans attacks.
Things went on for a while
and music was Twons world
until one unforgettable day
We found out that what happened to me had happened to our little girl
My world crashed down, I felt like I was in hell
I didnt know what I was to do
Then the state came in and took all our babies away
I thought that our family was through.
They said they had to investigate our parental qualities
but I hadnt done anything wrong
Why were they doin this to me?
I felt hate, I wanted a divorce
and I blamed the ministry
I thought Twons devotion to his tracks
had led to my misery.
I didnt know what to say or to pray
I thought my heart was gonna melt
All I could think was Jesus help me
Hes the only one who knew how I felt.
back and forth to different meetings
and trips to family court
the journey wasnt easy and
it definitely wasnt short.
I wish I could say its all over
and that everything was through
but what God says right now
is that theres more for us to do.
I must say that because of everything
Ive become a different person
and despite the pain and suffering
we went through it for a reason.
I had to learn to forgive
like Christ forgave me
and to now and forever
trust in the Trinity.
Only through Him do I have
mercy and deliverance.
Ive got victory and prosperity and
sometimes God is carrying me.
I take one day at a time
and walk tall without a spirit of fear.
With God at my side and always guiding me
I look down and say, devil Im still here!

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