Bible Studies

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LORD OF MY LONGING
1 Kings 1:6


The silence of David breaks my heart as I read of his years of kingship. King of a people, but captive to his children’s sinful behavior. It breaks my heart, not because I stand in judgment, but because it hurts so to see such captivity reside within God’s grace. To see such a perfect mirror of my own captivity.

But that’s how the great deceiver works. Once he’s lost our soul, he desires the destruction of our kingdom living. David’s family fell stone by stone around him within his continued silence. And with the falling the kingdom lost its vision of holiness, its leadership, and eventually the Promised Land God’s grace enabled them to possess.

Nathan’s words continue to ring upon each page ... you have given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD.

What kept David silent? This man after God’s own heart could not speak a word or lift a hand in disciplining his own, why? Was David captive to his unwillingness to accept God’s forgiveness of his taking of Bathsheba and his hands bloodied by Uriah’s death? Did God’s pronouncement that blood would never leave his home as discipline for this sin stop his lips? Surely, surely, surely he understood God’s heart!

I don’t understand the silence. And his children despised him for this failure at the same time they took advantage of his weakness. Does it all go back to desire’s dance? Did it now become the strident music of misconceived grace? Could David not discern the difference between God’s grace and his own twisted version? God’s grace brought freedom, David’s twisted version only captivity and destruction of the very people he was called to lead into grace’s home.

I grieve for David. I grieve for his family. I grieve for his people. I grieve for me and mine. Most of all I grieve for God. Grace stood among them, overshadowed them, and laid the straight path for kingdom feet. But it would take another king, a true Son of David with nail-pierced feet to lay the freedom-bloodied footprints grace-walking must tread.




Ah, Lord of my longing, of my heart, of my desire, be Thou the Lord of my understanding. There stands no greater gift than Grace. Open my eyes to see the robe of obedience that ever adorns Grace’s precious gift. Guard this heart where clay and grace meet so imperfectly, and keep it from ever misapplying the gown that grace must wear.





© 26 April 2005
DeAnna L. Brooks

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