Bible Studies

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…let us bring the ark of the Lord’s covenant…that it may go with us and save us…
1 Samuel 4:3


I wonder how often I ‘go out to fight’ a battle that is not mine. I’ve not been directed to it. But my own nature calls me into a situation my eyes deem ‘good’ – only to be devastated by the enemy. My faith is rattled, my mind confused, and my actions self-driven. In the midst of my bewilderment I regroup, gather up my strength again, grab God, then charge back into the fray – only, this time, to watch God ‘fail me utterly.’ Not just minor defeat, but major wipe-out! Assailed by disillusionment, depression, defeated faith, I begin to question God’s love. Not God’s love in general, just His love of me.

What happened? Might it be I was where I didn’t belong? I might not even have recognized it as a battle, just a sweet resting spot in my journey. My eyes beheld it, I was drawn to it, and I went. I even dragged God along with me.

I think I live much of life here, unwittingly. I go where my ‘desire’ takes me – fed by my eyes, my thoughts, my tastes – never really stopping, asking, seeking God’s will and purpose in my day. And I drag God along like a magic potion to ‘make all things good.’

But God is not a servant, at my beck and call, there to do my bidding. Neither is He my personal physician, traveling with kings of old, brought along to ease the pain from poisoned cups not mine to drink. Or to patch up wounds brought about in skirmishes and frolicking as I walked and played wherever I would. He is not mine to pick up and carry, anywhere.

I am His. His!

Somewhere within my journey to the Land of Promise, ‘confusion’ set in. Roles became reversed. Maybe not in my words. But in the reality of my actions, deep down where my feet take direction, I know this unbidden truth. And so does God. And every time I drag Him off with me, suffer defeat and the wounding arrows of despair, God weeps. Weeps over misplaced faith moving towards unbelief.

How differently Samuel’s walk with God, even as a child. Samuel knew the art of listening. God came and stood where Samuel listened, and He called out to Samuel, revealing Himself to Samuel through His Word.

Samuel walked, not of his own volition, but in response to the voice of God, speaking to his heart, directing his paths.



Almighty God, Lover of my soul, forgive me for the countless days and ways I drug You down my own path. Deaf and blind to You, though my words may have been full of ‘god’ things, it was my own way I walked, my own thoughts and dreams so often directing my feet. Forgive this battle weary one, wearied by walking where I was not called. Teach me to step into the armor of You, of all You are. Open my ears to my voice as You teach me to hold still and listen. As You come and stand beside me, revealing Yourself, Your will, Your purpose for each day of my life through Your Word, let me truly listen. Keep me from ever stepping out, in front of You. May the reality of the power of Your presence keep the roles from ever reversing again as my feet stay the path You lead…and I, through Your grace, learn the art of following.



© 9 April 2005
DeAnna Brooks

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