Short Dramas and Plays
Lost Passport
Characters: Barbie - a scatterbrained blonde
Quentin - highly intelligent, highly organized young man
Props: 2 mobile phones
Settee
Table and chairs
Suitcase & clothes for Barbie
Pretty shoes
Travel Bag for Quentin
Passports & tickets
Hand luggage for Barbie
Pad of paper and pen
Handbag
Passport
Scene: Barbie’s flat. Scene opens with Barbie on her mobile phone.
BARBIE: Yes mum, I’ll be careful. [pause and pretend to listen]
Yes mum, I wont wander off anywhere by myself. Yes mum, even if I am desperate in the middle of the African Rainforest.
[pause and listen, then give a really big sigh]
Yes mum, I’ll wear the proper shoes [holds up the pretty shoes, pauses and listens]
Yes mum, I have got everything ready. [point to each item in turn]
Suitcase - packed - yes
Hand luggage - packed - yes
Tickets - yes
Passport. Er, yes - passport. [looks around for passport but cannot see it]
Em - got to go mum. I’ve, er I’ve left the cooker on. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be with all the others from the Mission School, and you know Quentin is organized enough for all of us, including me. Bye mum. See you in a couple of weeks. [ pause and look around very worried. Start to sound exasperated] Yes mum. Yes I will be careful. I’ve really got to go Bye mum. Bye.
Barbie switches off her phone and runs over to her hand luggage, turning the contents out onto the table. She moves things around, muttering to herself. Then she goes to her suitcase and empties the contents on the settee. She starts to sort through her clothes by throwing them on the settee and the floor one at a time. All the time she is muttering things like “Where is it?” “What have I done with it?” etc.
There’s a knock on the door and Quentin lets himself in, oblivious at first to the mess.
QUENTIN: Right, I left Julia, Mark and Cynthia at the Cyber Café. We’re all ready. Everything is on the minibus ready for a six o’clock start in the morning. You know, I think I’m getting a few butterflies in my stomach. We’ll see a few of those you know. Huge big ones, not like the poor specimens we have here. Where was I. Oh yes, I’ll take your suitcase down to the bus now, and then we can go and join everyone for a hot chocolate. Oooooh I am so excited. I have been planning this mission field trip to deepest darkest Africa for two years. I feel just like Stanley going in search of Livingstone.
BARBIE Don’t you mean Hardy?
QUENTIN [confused] Hardy? Why Hardy?
BARBIE Stan Laurrel and Oliver Hardy - isn’t that who you are talking about?
QUENTIN Sometimes I really worry about you Barbie.
Quentin suddenly notices that the flat is a mess and Barbie is still throwing clothes out of her suitcase.
QUENTIN Er, Barbie you are ready to go aren’t you?
BARBIE Sort of.
QUENTIN Sort of?
BARBIE Yes, well. I am ready. I mean I was ready. I mean . [squeals desperately] Quentin you’ve got to help me. I’ve lost my passport.
QUENTIN Your passport! No. That’s not possible. We’re leaving in [checks watch] Ten hours, eleven minutes and forty five, forty four, forty three. It is totally unthinkable, it is preposterous, it is
BARBIE [interrupts] Quentin please. I need you to [throws arms in the air] I don’t know what I need you to do, I just know that you’ve got to do something. Please.
QUENTIN Right. We must be organized. First things first. I need a pen and some paper.
BARBIE Why?
QUENTIN Please Barbie. We don’t have time for pointless questions. I am going to write a list, ergo the need for something to scribe with and upon. Now please pass me the pen and paper.
Barbie finds a pad of paper and pen on the table, and gives them to Quentin.
QUENTIN Thank you. Now to get organized. First I’ll make a list of all the places you’ve already looked for your passport. Then I make a list of all the places you haven’t looked. Then I’ll check the first list off against the second list to make sure there are no repetitions, and then
BARBIE Wouldn’t it be better if I
QUENTIN Barbie, please. May I just ask which one of us is well organized, packed and ready to embark on our mission field trip without further ado, and which one of us is, how can I say this, ah I know, which one of us is somewhat lacking in the area of documentation?
BARBIE Em, I don’t know. Is it a trick question?
QUENTIN No it’s not. Let me put it like this. Which one of us is packed and ready to leave tomorrow morning, and which one of us has lost their passport?
BARBIE Oh I see. Well I was packed and ready, but then my mum phoned, and told me to be careful and not wander off by myself. Then she asked me if my suitcase was packed and it was - then. Next she asked if my hand luggage was ready and I said ‘yes’, because it was - then - but it isn’t now. You do understand don’t you Quentin. And then
QUENTIN Barbie - are you ready to leave now?
BARBIE No.
QUENTIN: There you are then.
BARBIE: Pardon?
QUENTIN: Barbie you are impossible. I am trying to infer that as I am packed and ready to leave tomorrow morning, together with all my relevant documentation, I am far more organized than you are, so therefore we will carry out the search for your passport in the most appropriate way. That is, my way.
BARBIE [really excited] I know that song - I did it my way.
Quentin takes his mobile phone out of his pocket and looks at it.
QUENTIN: Barbie this is a serious matter. That was a message from Julia. I’m needed elsewhere. Now Barbie here’s the pen and paper, make your lists, and follow them through to the logical conclusion of where your passport is located. I am afraid I must leave you. Please Barbie is it imperative that you are methodical and meticulous in your quest. Ring me as soon as you are successful.
Quentin leaves.
BARBIE: Methodical? Meticulous? Quest? What is he on about, I haven’t got time for all that, I’ve got to find my passport.
Barbie sits at the table and puts each item back into the hand luggage one by one, naming each item as she does so. [eg lipstick, tissues, brush, etc]
Then she collects all the clothes she has thrown on the floor and sits on the settee. One by one she folds them and puts them back into the suitcase.
When everything is back in the suitcase she wails loudly
BARBIE: What am I going to do? I’ve searched, and searched and I cant find my passport.
Looks under the cushions on the settee and under the settee.
BARBIE: I don’t know where else to look? Oh what am I going to do?
Barbie’s phone rings.
BARBIE: Hello mum. [pause] Yes mum everything is fine. [pause] No mum, I’m sure everything is okay. [pause - starts to j ump up and down very excited] No mum, of course I haven’t forgotten my passport is in my handbag. Mum I really do have to go now. Bye.
Barbie runs over to the settee and opens her handbag and pulls out her passport. She dials Quentin on her mobile.
BARBIE: Quentin it’s me. I’ve found it. I’ve found my passport. I’m coming down to the Cyber Café now to celebrate. Order me a hot chocolate.
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