Healing

From Fury to Forgiveness

by Christian Belyea
05/07/26
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     Words can wound. And I know someone who wields those weapons well. Although he’s a believer, he criticizes and smiles while he’s doing it, making it seem like he is trying to be helpful. It hurts. But I try to turn the other cheek, as Jesus commanded. Even still, there have been times when I have blown up at him when God’s Word clearly states, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult for insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9).    
     Now, I’m a sensitive person, and my feelings get hurt easily, especially by critical people. Then comes anger, which in this case is just masked pride. Not always, but sometimes I either explode or I implode. That is, I either flare up in their faces, or I simmer with subtle resentment, thinking I should have said this, or I should have said that. Either way, I get burned at the stake. But I’ve learned a few things. First, critical people are very insecure about themselves. Second, critical people are actually looking in the mirror. And third, critical people get under my skin because I am trying to seek their approval. Yup, that one surprised me too. I didn’t know I did that without realizing I was doing it. And how can I truly love and bless such people when I’m constantly seeking approval I may never get? Won’t work. Finally, critical people deserve a break for their flaws, just as I appreciate others giving me a break for my flaws.
     So now I take a different approach to critical people. It’s revolutionary, and Jesus started it. He told us, “Pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44,45). What a novel approach. It certainly isn’t the way the world works. But it is the way that the sons and daughters of God do. Jesus also added that if we don’t forgive others, neither will our heavenly Father forgive us” (Matthew 6:15). Now that’s pretty sobering. What’s more, after all the sins God has forgiven me for, I should gratefully forgive those who have wronged me in any way as well, because we are all only human. Moreover, who doesn’t want a blessing just for blessing our offender? I know I sure do. Besides, not forgiving them as quickly as possible only adds fuel to a fire that is already dangerously high. Worse, I become a convict confined in my own skin cells. The remedy? Max Lucado put it perfectly. He wrote that when we forgive someone, a prisoner is set free, and that prisoner is us. 
    Who wants to be an inmate? I sure don’t. Therefore, forgiveness is a release date.
    So now when this guy hurts my feelings, I get alone with God as soon as I can, even if it’s just to the bathroom. Then I say to Him, “Lord, I forgive, bless, and accept this person as you told us to do. Please make my forgiveness a reality in my heart cuz I sure don’t feel it? And Lord, please forgive and cleanse me of any ill will I have towards him? And lastly, Lord, please heal the hurt that started it all?” Next, I thank Lord Jesus for forgiving and healing me. And finally, I say to Him, “Lord, I receive Your forgiveness and healing, and I forgive myself.” 
    And with that done, the fire goes out. That’s right. Instantly snuffed out. Jesus douses those flames of fury like an expert Fireman before they become an inferno. And He restores my peace. I am no longer heated nor hurt. And I am free to love and serve this man again. Praise the Lord!