Humor

HUMOR ME Puns of Fun

by Jeff Van Hatten
12/31/25
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I like to end the year with laughter and hope you do as well. Sooooo, laugh it up as you try to answer these questions about some of the Biblical trivia – try not to groan too loudly.☺

What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him With Many Crowns.

What is Yeshua’s favorite nursery song?
Mary Had a Little Lamb.

What is a missionary’s favorite type?
A convertible

What kind of cell phone did Delilah use?
She used a Samson (Samsung)

When are mathematics mentioned to people in the Bible?
When God told Adam and Eve to “go forth and multiply”. (Genesis 9:7)
When God told Isaac to “be fruitful, and multiply”. (Genesis 35:11)

When are mathematics mentioned to animals in the Bible?
When God told the animals to “increase, be fruitful, and multiply.” (Genesis 8:17)
And what was their response?
Some snakes came up to Yahweh and said “We cannot fulfill your commandment to multiply, for we are adders.”
“So Yahweh said: “cut down the trees and build furniture out of them – for with the aid of log tables, adders can multiply!”

If you asked Yeshua how he wanted his steak cooked, what would he say?
“Well done, good and trustworthy servant.” (Matthew 25:23; Luke 19:17)

What did Yeshua say to the folks who refused to read the Bible?
“You win psalm, you lose psalm.”

If you asked Isaiah if it is okay to pass gas, what would he say?
“We have been pregnant and have been in pain, but have only given birth to wind.” (Isaiah 26:18)

Who were the four people a boy drew in his picture of the plane during the “flight out of Egypt?”
The boy replied: “Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus, and Pontius – the Pilot!”

What did Moses wife repeatedly say to him when they were wandering in the wilderness for forty years?
“Now will you stop and ask for directions?” (Numbers 14:33, 32:13; Deuteronomy 2:7, 8:2, 29:5: Joshua 5:6)

Where did Abraham go to find all the dogs?
In the land of canine (Canaan)

What do we call a policeman with a laser gun?
John the Zaptist.

What do we call a religious rabbit?
A Bible Thumper

What did the wisemen bring Yeshua?
They brought franks, innocents, and mermaid.

A Misguided View of the Scriptures, or are they just Typos?
The seventh commandment is: Thou shalt not admit adultery.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Jesus gave a surfin’ lesson on a mountain of olives.
Jesus was tempted by Santa and deviled eggs (Mark 1:13; Matthew 4:1; Luke 4:1)
Complainers can do greater things than Jesus – they can turn anything into whine. (John 2:9; 4:46; 14:12)
The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
Someone who only believes 12.5% of the Bible is called an eighth-theist.
Adams (atoms) are all Catholics. They have mass.

Remember To Rest On The Sabbath
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

And This Year’s Final Groaners
Try not to groan too loudly . . . .

Did you hear that the Tillamook Cheese factory was sold to a group of Nazarenes?
They changed the name to “Cheeses Of Nazareth”.

Who do the mice in the factory pray to?
Cheesus . . . . [of course]
(I couldn’t resist . . . . :-)

Final Thought for 2025
• Prophecy continues to unfold as foretold by the Hebrew prophets.
• History is moving extremely quickly towards the prophesied one world government, the one world financial system, and the rise of both the Antichrist and the False Prophet.
• The escalation of wars and rumors of wars continues to unfold, both in the Middle East and around the globe.
• Time is incredibly short – The birth pangs are just over the horizon.
• The great day of Yahweh is getting really near, even at the door. It hastens forth and will not delay.
• Be sure you are believing The Truth, not The Lie, and maintain an attitude of thanksgiving.
• Be sure Yeshua is your Redeemer, King, and High Priest, and your sins are forgiven.