Christian Living

Is Holiness A TopTier Goal in Your Small Group?

by J.W. Phillips
01/27/25
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Is Holiness A Top-Tier Goal in Your Small Group?

When many people come to church, they experience little more than the lukewarm water Jesus said he would spew out of his mouth. Friendly flesh may be there; a fervent spirit is not.

Encouraging this fervent spirit, Hebrews 12:1 says we lay aside every weight, every sin, as we run the race that has been set before to pursue holiness (Hebrews 12:14).

You’ve been a part of your small group for a while, right? So let me ask you, how often do you focus on holiness?

As you try to be objective in giving your answer, would you describe the pace of your pursuit as running? Or is it more like jogging? Or even like strolling? There’s a big difference!

Running a race implies being stretched out, giving an all-out effort—which is exactly what the biblical word fervent means in the Greek—whereas jogging suggest far less effort.

Those in a race “are in it to win it!” Joggers, like those taking a stroll, aren’t trying to win anything.

When one looks at church websites to get a sense of what that church deems important, it is striking that the word holiness is almost always absent. Holiness doesn’t seem to be a goal.

If you attend that church later, holiness may be mentioned sometimes, but not all that often. Even upon further inspection, you’ll discover holiness is not a top-tier goal. Why is that?

Holiness is one of those words that has an antiquated ring to it. This word often triggers images like the ones John White identified: “thinness, hollow-eyed gauntness, beards, sandals, long robes, stone cells, no sex, no jokes, hair shirts, frequent cold baths, fasting, hours of prayer, wild rocky deserts, getting up at 4 a.m., clean fingernails, stained glass, and self-humiliation.”

Caricatured in this way, it is little wonder that small groups don’t have holiness on the agenda.

Yet the apostle John tells us that holiness and righteousness are very high on God’s agenda! Notice how John addresses this in the first epistle that bears his name, “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments” (I John 5:2).

This principle makes a lot of sense when we keep in mind that the believer who enjoys a wonderful intimacy with God, and is passionate to please him, is going to bring fire into relationships with others; whereas the believer drifting and distancing from God, living a callous, compromised life will bring icy, cold water into these relationships.

So which of the two is more true of you? Are you more like fire—giving off an inspiring, incendiary influence? Or are we more like cold water—dousing the feeble, flickering spark of faith embedded in the hearts of others?

Thomas Watson wrote, “A regenerate person abhors sin not only for the curse but for the contagion.” The very idea that he could infect the church with his own allowed sin is considered a detestable thought too disgusting to contemplate!

Jesus said, “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (John 15:14). And if you don’t? Then you forfeit friendship with God. True, not a relationship with him, but friendship—and that’s serious. The linkage between love and holiness is significant.

Oswald Chambers reminded us “… there is a danger of forgetting that the Bible reveals not first the love of God but the intense, blazing holiness of God, with his love at the center of that holiness.”

This should be our goal! But to be honest, most small groups never pursue it.

These groups are far more likely to focus on circumstance: the loss of a job, the onset of a disease, the threat to a desired relationship. But what seldom occurs is a focus on their “inner stance”—an area of life not surrendered to Jesus, a coldness of heart unmoved by his Word, a prayer closet forsaken, a lot of time wasted, secret sins protected, spiritual growing edges never identified.

According to Scripture, not only is a diminished pursuit of holiness a disqualifier for friendship with Jesus, but it is also a disqualifier for being in fellowship with other believers. Did you know that?

In his first epistle, the apostle John stressed the relationship between fellowship and holiness when he wrote, “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another .…” Notice very carefully here: It isn’t mere exposure to the Word that guarantees light; it is the entrance of God’s Word that gives light (Psalm 119:130).

This means we must walk in the Word and not just talk about the Word.

People can be social and friendly with each other, but they can’t fellowship with each other unless they are consistently walking in the light.

So how will we know if they’re walking in the light?

We’ll never know—will we? —unless we become honest and transparent in sharing how we are implementing the biblical principles taught that week.

If we eliminate this focus, or greatly reduce it as many small groups have done, we’ll send the wrong signal: namely, that our flesh can be trusted (when it can’t be), and that consistent holiness is not a goal worth targeting (when it is).

To talk only about the Bible and not about the current progress of our walk with God is the most effective way biblical fellowship vanishes.

To study and discuss the Word only is a fundamentally flawed approach. Therefore, every fellowship group must see if members are walking in the light of the scriptures taught that week. We shouldn’t assume too much.

The Word can be heard, but not heeded.

There can be light without sight.

Therefore, small group sharing should focus on a key component of fellowship, disclosing what is currently true in our inner life.

The approach adopted by many small groups where shallow sharing is the norm, is allowed without ever considering the fraud being perpetrated.

Let’s hang with this thought a bit as we identify both its cause and remedy.

Most groups who say they know each other pretty well would be shocked to learn that they don’t.

This problem is illustrated by looking for a map of your state online. Have you ever done that? What comes up are several maps, each with lesser-to-greater details.

The first map shows the shape of the state and the location of major cities and major highways.

A second map will additionally show the location of mountains, rivers, lakes, and perhaps well-known tourist attractions.

A third map will show the location of small towns and a network of state roads in addition to everything the first two maps showed.

Now, if converted to a map, the inner life of most of us would be complex and highly detailed. Yet, the perspective the group has is more like the first map. It’s a fly-over perspective. It reveals little. And this severely limits the way we can help each other.

So what approach should we take to remedy this?

Years ago, the Church of the Savior in Washington D.C. set forth a plan where small group members, which included almost everybody in the church, spent many hours together each week sharing story after story about each phase of their life. This sharing lasted for years!

Whatever the virtues of that approach, this is not what I would recommend. What I do recommend is delving deeper with one or two members each week, instead of trying to get an equal distribution of talk among all the members.

Narrow the focus with one person, perhaps two, as you seek to learn more about an area of life they identified as most needing a biblical principle taught that week.

Included in this conversation would be empathy-motivated questions such as:

Why is this area most needing attention?
What has been occurring in the past?
Why has this been happening?
What were the previous attempts to solve it?
What worked well and what didn’t?
What are failure factors as of now that you need to be mindful of?
What scriptures do you think should guide the needed change?
How willing are you to change?
How would you like the group to help you?

These questions wouldn’t be fired out—bang-bang-bang—with the white heat of a prosecutor, or with the cold analysis of a professor.

There would be the active listening of a friend! Yet, during this conversation, these questions, with sensitive pacing, would be asked. The solution-focus of Scripture requires this.

It is by engaging each other this way that the group will gain insights that the "fly over" perspective doesn’t provide.

Each week, we will land! And only then will be walking in partnership with each other pursuing holiness.

E.M. Bounds was right when he wrote: “True strength lies in the godliness of the people. The personal holiness of the members of each church is the only measure of strength. Any other test offends God, dishonors Christ, grieves the Holy Spirit, and degrades religion.”¹

Commenting further, this prayer warrior from the 19th century said:

“Spiritual barrenness and rottenness in a church are generally hidden by a pleasant exterior and unusual growth. However, a spiritual church converts people from sin soundly, clearly, and fully.

God’s Church must continue to do this work of converting sinners and perfecting saints in holiness. Whenever this work becomes secondary, or other interests are held to be its equivalent, then the Church becomes worldly. When collecting money, building churches, and counting attendance become the evidence of church prosperity, then the world has a strong foothold, and Satan has achieved his purpose.”²

Jesus’ parable of a mustard seed becoming a large tree tells us of a bird singing in that tree. Unlike what many commentators assume, this is not a songbird singing out the gospel.

We know that, first, because mustard trees don’t become large trees; and second, because the bird in this parable is the same bird in the previous parable, the one that swooped down to steal God’s seed—Satan!

The picture, then is one of Satan, perched high in the church, singing his song.

This happened because the church lost its nature—no longer pungent, strong, and sharp like mustard—and in that way became large and impressive in the eyes of the world.

If that’s not the church you want to join, then find one where pursuing holiness is a top-tier goal.

Notes
1. E.M. Bounds, Winning the Invisible War, (Springdale, PA., Whitaker House, 1984), p.45.
2. Ibid,. p.44.