Humor

I’m Not Old Just Young Challenged

by James Snyder 
01/18/25
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Most people are fascinated by their age as if it makes any difference in their lives. Some people are very intimidated by getting older and struggle against it.

When I was young, I couldn't wait to get older. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to get a driver's license. Why does it take so long to get old when you're young, and then when you're old, it flies by like a bullet?

Sometimes I get a call from a scammer who asks me how old I am. I respond, "I'm not sure how old I am because every year my age changes." Then I hear the infamous "click."

I have several relatives who will never accept how old they are. They are frozen at 20 and try living as though they were 20 years old. It never works out, but I'm not going to be the one to tell them. Why try to act like you're younger than you are when you could just be yourself?

People are intimidated by getting older. I keep telling them that the only cure for old age is to die.

If I tried to live my life as though I were 20, I'd get into a lot of trouble, especially with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She is one of those reality people. I don't disagree with her, but many times, I get in conflict with her by not acting my age.

I might be doing something rather silly, and she'll catch me. Then, with both hands on her hips, she will say, "Why don't you just act your age?"

A few times, I wanted to respond and ask her if she was acting her age, but my love of life keeps me from doing stupid things like that.

At this stage, the big question in my life is: How do I act my age? And what really is my age?

If I'm at a certain age, I'm not acting that age; I'm just living that age. So when The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage wants me to act my age she wants me to pretend I'm older than I really am. I don't know what that means!

I tried to tell her that I’m really not old; just young challenged.

I was wondering the other day if I acted like I was 30 if The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage would recognize me. When I was 30, I was completely different than what I am today, whatever my age. I believe I should be able to get up in the morning, pick an age, and then act that age.

It sounded like a good idea until I tried it.

One morning, I got up and said to myself, "Today, I am 20, and so I'm going to act like a 20-year-old."

Before lunch, I had worn myself out so badly that I didn't know if I would continue the day. I forgot how active I was at 20. I forgot that when I walked, I was half-running. I forgot that when I ate, I ate like a starving chimpanzee. Oh, I don't want to be young again.

I begin to realize what it really means to be young challenged. I would have to practice for a month to act like I was 20 for one day. I don't have that much time left to do that.

So I'm young challenged. So what?

When I was young I acted my age and got into some trouble that I won't discuss with anyone today. But those days are over and now I'm going to try to act like I'm an old geezer. I have found that I am a superb actor in this category. If there was an Emmy for acting like an old geezer I would win hands down.

My wife and I were discussing this, and she said, "I remember what you were like when you were 20, and it would be good for you to act like you were 20 again."

With a little smirk on my face, I looked at her and said, "I will act 20 if you also act 20. Because a 20-year-old doesn't date an old geezer."

I'm not sure she got it, but she didn't like how I said it.

But if I'm going to act like a 20-year-old, then my whole surroundings have to be in that category. What good is it to act like your 20 when you don't have the energy of a 20-year-old?

It's been a long time since I heard The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage ask me if I was going to act my age. I'm glad because I'm not a very good actor.

I also have a hard time acting my age. How do you practice to act a certain age so that by the time you're done practicing, you're older?

It doesn't matter how old you are or that you have to act a certain age; it's really living today with today's understanding.

I was reminded what Solomon said. “The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head” (Proverbs 20:29).

I never understood this until one day I looked in my mirror and saw I had grey hair. I never thought my hair would get grey, but there it was and my mirror doesn’t lie, so says The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.