Christian Living

Biblical Fellowship—It’s Not What You Think

by J.W. Phillips
01/16/25
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Biblical Fellowship—It’s Not What You Think

Many churches have reduced fellowship to mean cold drinks and cookies in the social hall. If you go on a picnic, that’s fellowship. If you laugh, sing, tell stories and have a good time, that’s fellowship. But is it?

Of course, these things are fine, but there is nothing distinctively Christian about any of these dynamics. So, what is biblical fellowship?

Biblical fellowship isn’t what most Christians think, or even what most pastors think. Ever aware that God’s ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts, one must approach a study of fellowship with a predisposition to go beyond natural thinking.

The “author of confusion” knows how important definitions are, so if he can substitute some “sounds good” counterfeit for what is more biblical and authentic, he will do precisely that. Give him a loophole, and he’ll dart through and gain a huge advantage.

Determined to distort whatever Scripture depicts, the truth-twister today wants us to think that small groups and fellowship are practically synonymous. They are not. But unless we study Scripture and ask the Spirit of God to teach us while we do so, we are vulnerable to substituting natural thoughts for God’s thoughts.

The best way to understand the dynamics of biblical fellowship is to study the “one another” statements in the Bible. When considered in their totality, a cameo-sharp picture of what constitutes a biblical fellowship comes finally into view. These fifty-eight “one another” statements, thirty when discounting duplicates, describe with much detail how God wants believers relating to one another.

You’ve heard the saying “the devil is in the details,” but in this case, God is in the details!

God’s Instructions for Fellowship Ignored
One would think that the church would have examined these statements very carefully before setting up all these small groups. This is not what the church did. It is difficult to understand why the church would set up small groups without checking to see if their formats were sufficiently consistent with Scripture. But this is precisely what the church has done.

Although mentioned by the church, these statements have not been examined by the church. And so—without debate, or even much reflection—the “one another” statements have been cheerfully complimented, then routinely ignored.

Why would the church do something like this? These statements, after all, instruct, command, convey vision, and are of such importance that every one of them is further explained by other passages of Scripture. So shouldn’t definitive statements like these be examined?

If one were to ask pastors—did you ever study these “one another” statements, checking out what Scripture has to say about each one? —most pastors would acknowledge they never did this. Given the immense importance of fellowship, this is beyond baffling.

A major factor contributing to this neglect is the unwarranted assumption that we already know what fellowship is. We do? Apparently, the need for Scripture to unfold its revelation on this subject has not impressed us—which is exactly why we haven’t gotten this revelation!

If a survey constructed from the “one another” statements in the Bible were administered in churches today, respondents would indicate that not too much of what the Bible tells us to do with one another is actually happening.

One reason it isn’t happening is because we never intended it would. We never seriously purposed that certain scriptural objectives would become a regular part of our experience. Extending this neglect yet further, we never created the opportunities, never set forth the strategies, never activated the processes whereby these fellowship objectives could be regularly pursued.

Premises Sabotaging Biblical Fellowship
Instead, there’s this foggy idea settling in that if we help people “connect,” “do life together,” and “be in community,” fellowship will happen. It won’t—at least not in any way that takes its measure from Scripture.

Remember: It is Scripture (not slogans) that should guide us. What God has to say about fellowship extends beyond common sense, beyond innate ability; so those wanting to fellowship in God’s way should get his instructions.

The church assumes that fellowship requires no preparation, that we can all just jump in and do it. Really? The vision for fellowship is already clear? The skills for ministering to other believers in God’s way are already in place?

Actually, there are scores of skills (more than a 100) that can be gained from a study of the “one another” statements. And unless these skills are both learned and practiced, the kind of ministry very much needed in our fellowship will be missing.

Too often, quite unaware of these skills, churches slop right on through and never think twice about it.

Not only are there fellowship skills we need to learn, but there are also very important format issues that must be solved. This is because most of the barriers to true fellowship are format driven.

Yet, the distinct impression engendered by many small group enthusiasts is that no agenda is to be preferred to another. This cafeteria of options is even celebrated for its creativity and vaunted uniqueness.

However, the intense support needed to achieve an intimate walk with the Lord, and to promote a personal holiness contagious in its appeal, requires a more insightful effort than what most of these groups have envisioned.

The main reason for reduced fellowship in even bible study groups is our tendency to pontificate on principles in the passage and just leave at that. Specific outcomes are never intended. Specific outcomes are never achieved. Perhaps there is an equal distribution of talk, but that only keeps the conversation floating at a level where nothing gets done.

Yet, despite this lack of accomplishment, next on the agenda, no matter what, is snack time and a lot of yucking it up with anecdotal humor in the kitchen area. And this is supposed to be fellowship?

Defining Fellowship
Instead of focusing singularly on the content of the Word, fellowship groups should gather after the content of the Word has been ministered (in another setting, at another time) to specifically connect that already-ministered Word to the area of each life that needs this Word the most.

Strategies need to be developed. Triggers need to be identified. Blockages need to be removed. Life grids need to be adjusted. Attitudes need to be elevated. Hope needs to be infused. Personal accountability needs to be established. Jesus needs to be trusted. And fellowship-support needs to be given.

In order for our fellowship to be truly authentic, there has to be an activation of three essential components: 1) the sharing of our inner life, 2) in the context of God’s Word, and 3) through the enabling of the Holy Spirit.

In a forthcoming post, each component will be explained. The initial objectives of biblical fellowship is to identify a specific growing edge and initiate a Word-bred, Spirit-led solution. Targeting these two objectives, in an atmosphere that includes accountability and strong group support, puts us on the path toward biblical fellowship.

In most churches, submitting ourselves like this is rare; not regular; tardy, not timely; selective; not widespread; is triggered by discovery, not self-disclosure, is associated with pressure, not principle; with discipline, not development.

But when done right, submitting involves coming into the range of other believers’ grace so they can joyously partner with us in our growth. And how we do need this kind of sharing!

The Need for Fellowship
A chronic problem today is what I call the “all seed, no soil” approach. In Jesus’ parable about the Sower, we learn that in three situations out of four the seed didn’t produce fruit. Of course, there was nothing defective with the seed. The problem was with the soil—that is with the inner life.

Think about it: If one were to cast seed upon a plot of land where little seemed to grow, what would he do—keep throwing out more seed? No, he would focus on preparing the land by clearing away all debris, uprooting rocks and stumps, plowing the soil, pulling the weeds, supplying the nutrients, then protecting the land from encroaching pests. Actually, throwing out the seed is the easy part. All that it takes to nurture growth is much harder.

Can you see where fellowship fits in this picture? Fellowship is where the needed attention is given to the “soil”—that is, to the current condition of the inner life for which the bible teaching that week was meant to be seeded.

Getting the Word out isn’t enough; we must also get it in. To offer yet more teaching in a bible study “fellowship” claims the time needed for processing what had been previously taught. To stack teaching upon teaching makes no sense. If we truly value the Word, we won’t just cast it, we’ll cultivate it.

To edit God by setting forth a vision of fellowship much less than the vision he set forth is a serious matter. Of course, where Scripture is silent, fine—we have freedom, we have flexibility. But that’s just it. Scripture presents extensive information about fellowship. Therefore, every child of God needs to spend time learning what Scripture says.

Instead of reading man’s ideas about small groups (some of this coming from a secular perspective), we should focus on what God says about fellowship.

For too long, problems masked by small group agendas escaped the attention they urgently required—and this was not without consequence! The resulting avoidance—coveted by our flesh and accommodated by the church—has produced a diluted power, a distorted testimony, and a distraction of focus from the kind of fellowship the Bible describes.

Many Christians instinctively know that the spiritual quality of their lives is much less than what the New Testament promised, and much less than what four thousand years of redemption history should have produced.

One reason for so little change in their lives is they have never been a part of a biblically designed fellowship. The support God intended for them to receive—because they do so desperately need it! —has been missing most of their lives. Missing, in the sense that what the church calls fellowship doesn’t much resemble Scripture’s vision of fellowship.

Without a vision—what happens? People perish. This holds true not only in the sense of ultimate destiny, Heaven or hell, but in other ways, too, whereby a godly goal languishes in disappointing outcomes, all because the biblical vision was never in place.

Unfortunately, due to the filter many people have, discussing this format issue is difficult.

For example, people will lightly toss the phrase “the one anothers” in a conversation as if synonymous with lovey-dovey and the warm fuzzies. What they obviously have in mind is the shallower sense of ambiance and atmosphere, where hugs, tears, and glad-hand greetings abound and theology is measured by goosebumps.

The fellowship vision Scripture sets forth, however, has to do with—not sentiment, but a system of interlocking, well-conceived biblical strategies, by which the goals of true fellowship are achieved.

So does the climate of compassion change? Yes! And does the atmosphere of a sweet anointing appear? Yes! But what facilitates these changes is truth ministered and not cosmetics staged.

God’s ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts. But for too long we’ve trusted our own thoughts on what fellowship is.

God defined it. We ignored it.

J.W. Phillips is the author of Pursuing Fellowship, subtitled: By Activating the "One Another" Principles, volumes 1 and 2.

This work was endorsed by Dr. Jay Adams who said, “Nowhere else is there a work that so fully considers the 'one another' passages in the New Testament. Here Dr. Phillips systematically examines, illumines, and applies pertinent verses concerning Christians’ relationship with one another. What could be more appropriate than members studying together and mutually implementing the biblical truths that are highlighted in such a clear and concrete way?”