Humor

Who Invented the AutoCorrect?

by James Snyder 
04/15/23
Free to Share
Author requests article critique

  Message Writer
  Hire Writer

Tweet

The other day I recognized something that had been happening for quite a while. As I was texting, I noticed that there was AutoCorrect. So whenever I spelled a word, it would finish the spelling before I was done. And, if I was spelling it wrong, it corrected me.

A few times, I am typing a word, and AutoCorrect uses a different word. If I'm not paying attention to my typing, I can send the wrong words to someone.

I was drinking my cup of coffee this morning and thinking about that. So who came up with the idea of AutoCorrect? I'm not saying it's not a good idea, but sometimes it can be annoying.

I began remembering certain things happening throughout my lifetime. Those things had to do with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

Soon after we were married, we were at some family reunion, and I was telling a story, and all of a sudden, my wife said, "No, it was not Thursday, but it was a Friday." So I corrected my story and went on.

I ignored that, but I noticed this has happened quite a few times in my home; I have the ultimate AutoCorrect.

One thing that worries me is that during my sermon, sometime she may stand up and correct me by saying, "No, it's John 3:16."

Whenever that happens, and the chances are good that it might sometime, how in the world will I handle that?

I don't mind being corrected, but I prefer she text me instead of speaking out with her voice in front of people.

Several times I wanted to see if she was on the right track. I made up a story that didn't make sense to see if she would correct me. And guess what? She said, "No, it was a coconut pie, not a chocolate pie."

I smiled at her, nodded, and said, "Thank you, my dear."

She was so appreciative that she was able to help me with that story. Unbeknownst to her, the story was untrue from the very beginning. But how she did not know the story wasn't true is beyond my comprehension.

That got me on a personal agenda.

What would happen if I wrongly AutoCorrect her in one of her stories? The very idea brought giggles to my soul.

She was talking about our wedding and anniversary, and I jumped in and AutoCorrected her to see what she would do. "No, our wedding anniversary is August 14."

She looked at me with a puzzled look and said, "That's what I said. August 14."

"Oh," I said, "I thought you said August 14."

"I did say August 14."

I just smiled because her puzzled look was worth all the nonsense I had just produced.

That night when we got home, she asked me what that was about, and I said, "I'm sorry; I guess I just didn't hear you."

We were having lunch with several new friends and were talking about our children during the conversation. I spouted confidently, "We have four of the most wonderful children in the world."

My wife looked at me and said, "We only have three children. Where did you get four?"

Looking at her, I said, "You mean we only have three children?"

I was snickering and tried to keep most of it inside, but she looked at me with one of "those looks," and our new friends had no idea what was happening. I love it when a plan comes together.

There's no way I could ever catch up with the many times she has AutoCorrected me, but it certainly will be fun trying.

Whenever I say something that's not exactly true, she cannot help but jump in and AutoCorrect me.

But I first remembered this happening right after we were married. I did not know how to handle it. I was a little frustrated when she did it. Now, after over 50 years of marriage, it is one of the great aspects of our relationship.

Most importantly, she doesn't know what I'm doing. And I beg you not to let her know.

One time it did backfire on me. We were with some friends talking about money. I don't know why people talk about money, but they do. And I said something to the effect that we made over $100,000 a year. I was waiting for her to jump in and do her AutoCorrect. But she said nothing.

I'm not sure why she didn't respond, but when we got home that night, she looked at me and said, "Ok, where is all that money? What have you done with it?"

It took me a while to back out of that hole, but as far as I know, that's the only time it backfired on me.

I should be thankful that I have my own AutoCorrect to keep me from embarrassing myself. It may not be free, but it is worth it.

As I was pondering this, I began to think of the spiritual side. David says in Psalms 119:11, 16, "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word."

The most important AutoCorrect for me is the Word of God. I'm so thankful that God's Word AutoCorrects me in my daily life when I need it and it has always been true.