Christian Living

A Life Worth Living

by Mary Elder-Criss 
03/01/23
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A Life Worth Living

A life worth living. That is what our Savior calls us to; a life that reflects His life. One in which we always strive to do what's right. When Jesus asks for our obedience, He may ask us to sacrifice our wants and even our needs for the good of others. Indeed, Jesus may ask us to give our very life if necessary. Jesus wants our heart first and our obedience next. 1 Peter 2:21 He asks us to emulate the things that matter most, always based on our Father's love. This level of sacrifice is not always easy to accomplish, as our bodies are still flesh, and the flesh wars against the spirit. Galatians 5:17 We often get tired, discouraged, and even resentful when we feel that the tasks put before us are more than we can complete.

We see others who don't have the same calling upon their lives and can realize their dreams of vacations and travel, who share pictures on social media of faraway places they are fortunate enough to discover. We feel that bubble of bitterness well up inside us in seeing everyone's happy, smiling faces and what they have achieved in their lives that you have not been fortunate enough to have accomplished. Instead, all you seem to have are these never-ending obligations, but you promised to fulfill them.

But you are not alone. In the morning, in the evening, and every day in between, when it's raining and when it's pouring, when your grass don’t look so green, your world may fall to pieces, but these troubles won’t last. Remember, my brothers and sisters, this too shall pass. (Larry Fleet-This Too Shall Pass). Jesus called you for a reason, and you can guarantee it is for His glory. So, lift your head, child, because everything will be alright.

For the past thirteen years, I have inhabited such a place. As my mother's health deteriorated in her eighties, my sister and I shared the responsibility of caring for her. In the last year of her life, she had dementia, and it was getting a little worse every day, so my youngest daughter also assisted us in caring for her as much as possible. Mom had experienced multiple falls and couldn’t be left alone, and the stress of caring for her unaided was too big a job for my father. We promised him and each other that mom would receive our care as long as it was humanely possible, which we did up to the last 48 hours of her life when we had to move her to hospice. My mom suffered a stroke in the early morning of her first night there and was gone by 12:34 the following morning. We were by her side as my dad slept the sleep of the weary and grieved on a cot in her room. Although that was difficult, it was also a blessing because mom was freed from her earthly body that no longer connected with the world around her.

Of course, we grieved our mother's passing, as anyone would do when losing someone so dear and vital in their lives. I still miss my mom daily, but I know she is whole and no longer suffering. Her absence left a big void in our lives, but for my dad, it was the loss of his entire world. After 65 years of marriage, his soul mate was no longer by his side. Dad gave up after a couple of months, settling into his recliner with puzzle books, his chewing tobacco, and the TV remote. He stopped driving entirely, and so I began anew to care for an aging parent. I have since been his primary caregiver for the last six years. I take him to his dr. appts., I grocery shop for him, and my husband and I deliver his food and put it away, I cook a hot meal for him every evening, and for the past five years, we have continued to plant and grow a garden for him because that is what he and Mom always did. After a fall from his riding lawn mower in 2020, most of the outside work fell on my husband, who is still five years away from retirement. The summer of 2022 was a killer. It rained almost constantly, and all he got done was to race home from his physically demanding job to attempt to keep up with our lawn work and my dad’s for a total of about four acres.

It is often more than we can handle. Sometimes we are so weary we can barely lift our heads. Mom and Dad had spent years growing and cultivating blackberry bushes, blueberry bushes, and wild grapes, and Mom had multiple flower beds that quickly became overgrown. My sister and I spent two summers just trying to keep up with the weeds in them before my mother passed, and I continued for a year afterward until it all became too much, and we began cutting them back. However, we still had all the bushes to attend to, which quickly became overgrown, tangled, and almost impossible to harvest. My dad has always been a hard man, but he still demanded these things done as much as we possibly could. Sometimes his requests could be more realistic, as there needs to be more time or energy in our 60+-year-old bodies to keep up with things successfully.

Thankfully he and Mom gave their lives to the Lord about 20 years before Mom passed, so there was a softness to him that hadn't been apparent to me before, but he doesn’t show it often. However, my earthly father has never told me he was/is proud of me. I have suffered for years due to this lack of emotional connection, causing me to doubt my self-worth.   My dad was always my hero as a little girl, and I have always strived for something that will never be forthcoming in this life, which is his approval. I, however, have a Heavenly Father that assures me daily that I am enough. I John 3:1 In Him, I am enough. I am loved: I am treasured beyond measure. I am His workmanship. Ephesians 2:10  He has caught every tear shed. Revelation 21:4 He has soothed my soul and given me strength to go on during days and weeks that I have just wanted to give up.

Jesus understands my longing to be released, spend time with my husband, someday travel with him to visit our children, and be freed from the burdens of responsibility I have been living under for over a decade. Nevertheless, and this is where it gets complicated, that time is not yet here. And until the day that my dad takes his last breath, Jesus will continue to provide the strength and the grace needed each day. 2 Corinthians 12:9 He will also surround me with His mercy on days that I just am not feeling the sacrifice. The days when I am less than charitable to my father because of his unrealistic demands, the days where the last thing in the world I want to do is try to plan the week's menus to include meals he will eat that might line up with something I could fix for my husband and myself without having to prepare two entirely different suppers.

Somedays, the hours, days, weeks, months, and years of sacrifice get to me. I have developed health issues because of the demands placed on my body. I suffer chronic pain most of the time, and since my pain is due to deteriorating spinal conditions, there is little I can do physically to help my husband with some of the more demanding jobs. I am weary in body, in spirit at times, and in my mind. I often feel guilt at the thought of how much easier my life would be without this obligation, this endless sacrifice. I then am caught up in waves of self-doubt and self-loathing about myself because what daughter worth her merit and worthy of the call would have such feelings? That's when God moves in, fills my soul with mercy and grace, and reminds me that I am still running the race and fighting the fight. Hebrews 12:1 That’s when I have the assurance that this too shall pass,  and in the end, I can stand before the throne of God and hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Matthew 25:21

So, regardless of those imperfect emotions and my yearning to live a "normal" life, I have that blessed promise that I am fulfilling the calling put upon my life at this time. It is not an easy task at times, but it is a cakewalk compared to the sacrifice Christ made for me. I know His promises are true. I know He will never leave or forsake me, and I know I am truly His. His mercies are new every morning, Lamentations 3:22-24 His strength is sufficient, He longs to give me the desires of my heart, Psalm 37:4 and He will keep me.

Compared to the rewards awaiting me in Heaven, what is this? It is only a scattering of seeds, of dust in the wind. The things of this life are only temporal. In the face of eternity, they are indeed nothing at all. Live a life worth living. Do the right thing. You never know how much of a testimony your life is to others.

 With God by my side, who can be against me? Romans 8:31

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Mary Elder Criss

3/01/2023