Humor

An Apple Fritter on My Mind

by James Snyder 
07/02/22
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The last few weeks have been rather hectic, and I’ve struggled to keep up with everything. If it weren’t for The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I probably would not have gotten where I am today.

I don’t know anybody who can plan out a day, week, or month better than her. She has everything planned down to the smallest detail.

On the other hand, I am not very good when it comes to these detailed plannings. I’m the kind of in-the-you-moment person. Therefore, I really get things screwed up as far as scheduling.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage can think of a dozen things at the same time. I can only think of one thing at a time. This gets me into trouble because sometimes, what I’m thinking about isn’t what I should be doing at that time.

I think what it’s called is multitasking. This is something that I cannot do even though I have tried for a long time. I can only keep one task and focus at a time. Usually, it’s the wrong task I’m thinking of at that particular time.

Women are famous for multitasking. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is certainly the Queen of multitasking. No matter how much she has in her hand, she always has room for one more task.

I’ve never been able to do that, and I don’t have a good reason. Usually, at the end of the week, I go over my list of tasks and discover several things I forgot about. That usually is the very frustrating part of my week. I started out with good intentions, but then something else came into view, and I forgot what I was supposed to do.

It is quite frustrating because Monday morning, my wife will make out her list of tasks for the week several pages of them. On Friday afternoon, she celebrates the fact that everything on her list is checked off and has been duly completed.

How she does it is above my pay grade. I’m glad she can do it, and I’m jealous of that talent.

The other week I had a pile of tasks that needed done. Every one of them was necessary to complete. I hate it when something has a due date attached to it, but all were crucial in fulfilling.

I started Monday quite cheerful about my list of tasks. Friday afternoon, I was frustrated because not one of those tasks had been fulfilled. I don’t know what happened, but I do know that nothing happened.

I just felt jittery all day long. Since my heart attack last year, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage convinced me to drawback on my Apple Fritters. There was a time in my life when I had an Apple fritter a day and sometimes more than that.

Looking over my list of unfulfilled tasks, I could only think about an Apple Fritter at the time. Nothing would really calm down my nerves but one of those Apple Fritters.

Through the years, I have tried to convince my wife that an Apple Fritter is a fruit. I can’t convince her even though I have tried every con I know.

It’s been a long time since I was this jittery about my schedule. I knew the only thing that would calm me down a little was sneaking out of the house and getting an Apple Fritter. The more I thought about it, the more I thought about it.

I looked at my list of tasks for the week and put at the bottom of it the letters “A F”. I knew what it meant, and I was hoping the other person in our residence did not know what it meant.

I laid my list on the table, not thinking too much about it, and then my wife picked it up. She looked at it, then looked at me and asked what “A F” meant?

At first, I didn’t know what she was talking about, and then it dawned on me that I had put those letters on my task list. I did not know how to respond to her, but in a few moments, I said, “That simply means Article Finishing.” Then I smiled one of my gregarious smiles.

She looked at me and wasn’t smiling but giving me one of her “stares.” I suspected I was in trouble.

“Are you sure,” she asked, “that it does not mean Apple Fritter?”

It was such a frustrating week; it was hard for me to bounce back with a credible answer.

“You do know,” she said very seriously, “that you are not to have Apple Fritters because of your health?”

Trying to come up with an answer, I simply said, “I was just thinking that maybe if I thought a little bit about an Apple Fritter, it would make me feel a little bit better about my week.”

Looking at me, she said, “I think that finishing your tasks during the week, is what will make you feel better.”

Later I was reminded of what the Bible says. “His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:21).

I don’t have to do everything, just a few things that I can handle for the glory of God.