Poetry

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After All This Time

Could it be that after all this time,
a man is truly interested in me?
It's hard to believe, and should make the news:
"See the impossible, tonight, on Channel 3!"

You totally have to be kidding me, Lord!
Do You want this for my life, and NOW?
I'm getting a little long in the tooth
and there ain't much milk left in the cow!

I've been waiting so long for the romance express,
I have assumed the train didn't stop here...
So I've plodded on alone, and lived the single life
And never thought I'd call someone "Dear."

How can I go out on a date
and be cool, be interesting, and flirt?
I don't know how, my romance genes don't function
or at least they're crusted over with dirt...

Where do I turn, who can help me--
everyone I know is a "longtime married."
I have nothing to wear,
I'm not sure I can care--
my emotions have been snuffed out, then buried.

Who am I fooling? I don't think I can go--
the night's bound to be a disaster.
I sure don't want to disappoint the guy
or be tomorrow's object of laughter.

Lord, I'm your little girl, and You know me full well--
You know this area is sensitive for me.
I have no confidence, no reason to believe,
and it's always been easier to flee.

I just can't handle this stuff at this point--
I'm too old, too tired, and too busy...
But I have to admit, when I hear his voice
I get somewhat stupid and dizzy.

O God, You are more than a little familiar
with my conflicts and crying and shouts.
I've already said, "Yes," in a moment of craziness
and now I'm filling with doubts.

Tell me, direct me, I can't manage this alone.
What do You want me to do?
Should I cancel? Should I try it? Should I go out of town?
Yes! Maybe I'll visit Kalamazoo.

I'm joking! I think. I'm so confused.
I need You to step in here, Lord.
Please give me an indication that it's not a mistake
and I won't leave the guy nauseated and bored.

There's the phone, Lord, and I'm full of fear.
If it's him, I should cancel, and NOW...
Here I go, picking up the receiver,
I need to get out of this, but how?

"Hello," he says, and his voice somehow thrills me,
"I wanted to check in with you.
It occurred to me that you might be nervous,
and be thinking of not following through.

"Don't be scared--I'm just a person.
If you're a little anxious--well, me, too.
We'll go out, have fun, and get along fine-
I'll enjoy just being with you.

"Well, that's about it, and it's up to you.
And do I hope you'll go? Very much!
For I was just talking to God about you,
and I felt like I'd better get in touch."

We said our goodbyes. I hung up the phone--
and recognized God was involved.
I've gotta get ready for my big date--
for the moment my doubts are resolved.

Brenda Kern
December 12, 2004

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