Humor

I Can Never Have Too Much Ice Cream

by James Snyder 
10/30/21
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It was one of those hectic weeks that flew by, and I didn’t know it until the end of the week.

Friday night at supper time, it was one of those sneaky crashes. But, unfortunately, all the energy during the week had been pushing both of us forward, and we had no options but to keep plowing ahead.

I don’t know about other people, but I don’t know I’m being pushed until the push is over. And Friday is the time for that push accounting.

It was a quiet dinner because both of us had pushed the limits of exhaustion. Then, during the week, something happened and put us behind just when we thought we had caught up.

Getting behind sometimes is not a choice and has a way of sneaking up on you and catching you off guard.

I had come to the point where I  had enough. Enough is enough; let’s get on with life.

You can’t get enough of some things in life, and then there are other things that you can have too much. If only we could choose one at our discretion.

That evening supper was quite good, and I had, like always, stuffed myself. I don’t blame my over-eating on myself, rather on the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. If she were not such an excellent cook, I wouldn’t eat so much. All the blame rests upon her.

She insinuates that I should be a little more disciplined in my eating habits. Ha, disciplined in my eating habits? Whoever heard of such a crazy thing. I don’t tell her that it’s crazy because she might assume I think she is crazy. I do, but I don’t want her to know about it.

The marvelous supper was behind us, and we had just settled down to watch something on television. I like watching those mysteries, but I have a difficult time watching them with my wife. She knows the outcome before the first scene has completed itself.

Where in the world is the mystery to that?

About halfway into the mystery movie, there was a commercial time, and my wife got up and said, “Would you have any room for ice cream?”

Would I have any room for ice cream? I can never have too much ice cream, and I am never too full for one more bowl of ice cream.

A lot of things I have too much of, but it certainly is not ice cream.

Someone once asked what my favorite ice cream was, and I replied, “My favorite ice cream is the one I’m eating at the time.” I have never yet had a bowl of ice cream that I didn’t like.

So, when my wife asked me if I would like some ice cream, I didn’t even say, “What kind of ice cream do you have?” I don’t have to say something like that. What I do say is, “I’ll have as much ice cream as you can stuff into that bowl.”

We always have a good supply of ice cream in the freezer. My wife is always looking for the Buy One Get One deal, so we usually are well stocked with ice cream.

Not long ago, it was such a long weary day, and I was thinking about the ice cream I would reward myself with at the end of the day. Nothing calms me down better than a nice bowl of ice cream.

Supper was over; I settled down into my easy chair and then asked, “Honey, I really could use some ice cream tonight. It’s been such a long weary day.”

I didn’t hear anything from her, so I said, “Can I have some ice cream?”

Then I heard from the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

“I’m sorry, my dear,” she said as disparagingly as possible, “we’ve run out of ice cream.”

Those words are the worst words ever uttered in our parsonage. To be out of ice cream is the most stressful time of the week. How is it possible to run out of ice cream?

She explained by telling me that Publix did not have their usual Buy One Get One sale this week. So she was waiting for the sale to go on.

I sat there thinking how in the world can I survive any day without ending it with a bowl of ice cream?

There’s a lot of things in this world that I can do without. Number one on that list is broccoli. I don’t even like the sight of that so-called vegetable. I don’t even think it’s a real vegetable, contrary to the thoughts of my wife.

I have a long list of what I can do without, and nowhere on that list is ice cream.

How I would get through the night without my ice cream is a mystery that only the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage can solve.

They only know what you like and what’s important to you when it’s not available. Then you begin to appreciate the value of that item.

I thought of the Bible verse in the Old Testament that sort of focus is on this idea. “Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter” (Isaiah 56:11).

Whenever greed takes over, we never can have enough. Then we become a slave to our greed.