Humor

The Epitome Of Boredom

by James Snyder 
09/25/21
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I have never considered myself to be boring. I may be boring to other people but not to myself.

As you get older, you find out that there are many boring things in this world.

When younger, I can't ever remember being bored except when my father was lecturing me on how I should behave. I'm not sure he was very successful at that.

I wasn't bored with anything, and I always found something to gain my attention.

This was back in the day when there was no Internet, cell phones, or anything along those lines. How some people today live without cell phones is something I'll never understand.

The other day I was downtown, stopped at a red light, and many people were walking on the left side. I watched them and didn't know if they were going to some Memorial service or what. They were all bent over, heads down, working on their cell phone while walking.

You take away their cell phone, and they will not know what in the world to do.

When I was younger, we knew what to do. We did not need some claptrap to amuse us and keep us from being bored.

Being a husband for over 50 years, I don't know what being bored is all about.

If, for example, I don't have anything to do and the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage finds out, believe me, I have plenty to do.

The other night, I watched the little kitties out on the back porch jumping and running around and chasing each other. One was chasing its shadow, and I don't think it ever got it.

But these kittens were having the time of their life and when they ran out of energy, they all snuggled together for a nap.

Maybe that's why older people take naps more often!

I'm not against technology at all. For example, if I go to a restaurant by myself, I take my cell phone with a Kindle app with around 300 books, so I have something to read.

Not many things bore me, but there are times that I do get bored.

What bores me more than anything else are committee meetings. I know some people live by these committee meetings. Whether it's politics, education, or religion, meetings are their top priority.

I can't think of anything more boring than committee meetings. I try my best to keep an upper chin, but it's tough to do with so many chins on my face.

I certainly could not be a politician because all they do is go to committee meetings after committee meetings. That may explain why so many politicians are crazy. They went to so many committee meetings that it has driven them crazy. But, of course, with some of them, it's not a very long drive.

For many years, I have gone to church committee meetings. But, unfortunately, the older I get, the more bored I am with this kind of activity.

When I'm in person at some of these committee meetings, I have to go to the bathroom if I'm not falling asleep. I remember one committee meeting I went to the bathroom probably close to 10 times. After the meeting, someone asked me how I was feeling. I didn't tell him because I didn't want to offend him.

Then something changed. During all of this health dilemma that we are facing in the lockdowns, one positive thing emerged.

That positive thing is that we don't gather together in committee, instead, we do it virtually. That was something I never thought about until recently.

A meeting virtually means that you're not in person, instead, you're on the computer with the group. So, some of the committee meetings have been virtual.

At first, I was a little excited about this. After all, I don't have to travel a hundred miles to attend the committee meeting. Instead, I can go to my computer and join the committee online.

I was pretty anxious to get this experience, so I set up my computer on my easy chair at home and got a nice hot cup of coffee. Then, when the time came for the meeting to begin, I did several clicks on my computer, and voilà, I was at the committee meeting.

At first something was interesting about it, but then, that boring element began to develop right there in front of me.

Watching it for 30 minutes, my head began to nod but not in agreement with anything they were proposing. Then, finally, my head began to nod, my eyes began to fade, and soon, I was sleeping.

Just then, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage came in and saw that I was sleeping, but she also heard I was asleep because of the snoring I do when I sleep.

She tapped my shoulder and said, "You're not bored, are you?"

I opened my eyes, looked around a little bit, cleared my throat and looking at her said, "Of course not. I was having a time of prayer for the committee meeting."

I'm not sure when I heard her laugh so much as I did at that moment.

Later that day I remembered a verse of Scripture. "Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger" (Proverbs 19:15).

If I’m bored it’s my fault. I need to live a proactive life in serving God in a way that pleases Him.