Gospel

Socializing with Myself Part 1

by Ramona Cook 
05/16/21
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It sounds humorous but it happens.

In my original presentation of the statements I make herein, it was brought to my attention by a reader that I had not adhered to my Title, “Socializing with Myself."

I thought I had. So, I am enlarging the communication on the title line to further clarify my statements:

George Herbert Mead, considered a founder of the social psychology and the American sociology tradition, states that our individual person is socialized by the input from outside influences of our developmental stages and by our social contacts. That would be anyone or thing that tries to define us to our inner self.

Mead identifies this process as the “I” and the “Me.” He explains that the social self is the “I” and that which responds to it is the “Me.”

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I have not studied Mead’s teachings as a student, but I do agree with his presentation of this process of socialization.

Sigmund Freud takes the psyche into a more detailed definition. Although Freud was an Atheist he could conceive of a “trinity of personage” in the human psyche as he presented Superego, Ego, and Id, as one psyche.

Freud, incidentally using a different set of descriptors, agrees with the Apostle Paul of the Bible, who defines these three as Spirit, Soul and Body.

In our physical world we “see” only the body, but the parts we don’t see take a controlling command of the entire being.

For instance, WORDS spoken to us, about us, and over us, are powerful in our existence on earth.  Harsh words and harsh treatments tell us who we are within the developmental stages of our lives, which incidentally, never ends.  Each new decade has a different definition of us, therefore, we need to develop a skills set to combat the harsh and hurtful things that we experience.

I have long taught students in my classes to speak out loud, if possible, but certainly to whisper out loud, “I do not receive that bad description of me, that is not who I am.”

When we do not reject the unjust things said and done to us then we internalize them, and there is where the Devil has an open campaign ground to whisper and bring to our minds constantly those hurts we did not deal with and reject. So what do we do? We look for form of solace and comfort, for some kind of relief from our inner pain.

When I feel isolated, attacked, betrayed, incompetent, or other human “feelings,” be they true or not, I then look for something that consoles my sorrow. Yes, it is a form of sorrow.

It is a human need to be comforted and appreciated. So, when that need is violated we all go in search of some form of consolation. That is how addictions develop.

“I” and “Me” look for comfort which requires a third party. Since our inner pains, the deep deep ones, we will rarely disclose to anyone, we look for a non-speaking, non thinking substance to assist us to feel better, or to feel nothing, as we try to self-medicate.

We, as human beings do not gravitate to the same consoling substances.

For instance, I would never choose alcohol because I don’t have the necessary volume of enzymes to break down the alcohol molecule, so I would pass out. Someone else may find pleasure in that substance and indulge too often thereby creating a dependency on alcohol to soothe their sorrow. Personally, I chose food and cigarettes.

The list of potential consolations is long; cigarettes, drugs, food, promiscuous sex,(whether physical or in the mind by way of pornography), constant work by some to try to prove to anyone that they are a good and worthy person, There are more, but the above listed gives tenor to the point.

All addictions have the same root cause, it is just that some choices for our consolation are more destructive than others, but none are good for us if overindulged. No one ever goes to any substance for comfort thinking, “I want to become addicted to this substance." We all assume that WE can handle it.

Many of the addictions we fall prey to are not bad substances within themselves, they are bad when we overdo them, like food for instance, try doing without it altogether, that won’t work. We must exercise temperance in all things, so says the Scriptures.

But, we continue to need the consolation for our battered inside person.

Ramona: 05/16/2021      PART 2 FOLLOWS