Encouragement

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A WORLD SO VULNERABLE!......by Felix Abrahams Obi

On Tuesday, the 5th of October 2004, two of America’s great preachers, Bishop T.D. Jakes, and Pastor Tommy Tenny featured in a program on TBN where they presented to viewers world wide, their recently premiered movies respectively. TD Jakes movie, “Woman Thou Art Loose” was occupying the top 6th position in the Hollywood chat, and his pioneering ministry for the hurting and wounded, especially towards women who had been sexually abused and molested earned him the front cover of Times magazine weeks ago.



Tommy Tenny’s Movie, “A night with the king” is set to burst the chats like TD Jakes movie. Tommy Tenny is the famed author of the devotional Classics, “ The God chaser” and “The God Catchers”. His books have been spurring millions worldwide to pursue God’s presence. He literally pants and yearns for God’s presence like the deer of Psalm 42.



Inspite of his great exploits in ministry and the experience of God’s presence in awesome ways, a deep wound ate deep into the inner recesses of his heart for years. It was a secret that he had kept far from the public; he needed healing and had to open up. And with tear-soaked eyes, he told the world that his 19years old daughter had given him permission to narrate how she was sexually abused at the age of 10 by a relative I guess. She had suffered the shame and emotional trauma all alone, and kept the secret from her loving parents until age 15years before she could divulge the harrowing experience she had. It took her so long to pull through the healing phase and psychologically re-adjust to the reality of living as a “ A Christian who was raped at the age of 10years”.

One would have thought that being a Christian and daughter of a renowned minister would have protected her ! My heart bled as I watched Tommy Tenny ask T.D. Jakes to pray for him and his daughter, and the over 30% and 25% of women and men respectively who have experienced some sort of sexual abuse in America, Christians inclusive. What a sordid and vulnerable world we live and why are Christians not immune from all this?

I really wish our hearts as Christians were not vulnerable to say the least, but the true-life stories that abound nudge our sense of security: In reality we can be under siege as well as the unbelievers in all issues of the love and life in general:

- A Christian friend had been engaged to his medical student heartthrob and planned to tie the nuptial knots during their houseman ship year. Along the line, another Christian brother and a Shell staff waltzed into her life. The cupid arrow hit her so soon. My doctor friend was heart broken when she literally dismissed him saying, “I’m not ready to marry a “beginner” in life”, for they were classmates in the medical school! How he snubs ladies because of this past experience till date.

- Anther friend suffered a similar fate of broken engagement in the hands of his beloved fiancée (ex-fiancée). They were in the same fellowship choir in campus and cruised on till the end of NYSC. Some Christian guy stepped in when he was job hunting and married her. For sure he was heart broken. And after a lull of 2years, he got engaged to someone else who eventually didn’t fit into his ideal picture of a spouse. With so much sorrow and regret, he broke the relationship… and of course his fiancée’s heart was broken and stricken by his action!.

- Julie, not her real name got born again in her early teens, and being the only Christian in her family, she was greatly respected for her ideals and virtues. She kept her faith all through the university and NYSC days. She later got engaged to a Christian brother in her church. One day he invited her over for prayers at his friend’s apartment and in keeping with the norm for prayer of agreement, they held her hands together and soon emotions overpowered reason. They slept together and it was her very first! She eventually got pregnant and couldn’t contemplate abortion. Her family folks were disappointed when the news came. Unknown to her, the Christian guy had a UK Visa before inviting her for prayers. He’s now out of the country and she’s bearing the pregnancy and shame alone! Will she ever trust men again?



- 19years-old friends who got born again before age 10 shared her experience with me a few months ago. She had drawn close to a student Pastor in a Bible College who’s 13years older than her. She saw him as a mature Christian and felt secure around him. He took her to the cinema for movies and he worked her up such that they smooched a couple of times. He repeated this severally. She’s been guilt–ridden in her heart and afraid of many an” honest – looking” guy now that advances towards her even for friendship.



Trusted friends in a relationship have taken not a few people advantage of. Sometimes the hurt is so deep-seated that it takes a couple of years and tremendous grace from God to heal. Our past experiences often cage us in with walls, shielding us from enjoying the fun that we can share when we relate with others. To outsiders we may appear self – contented but deep within, we long for intimacy with others yet are as afraid as the snail to reach out for fear of being hurt or taken advantage of by other people. But is it really possible to relate with people without being hurt, abused or wounded by them? I wish the answer were in the affirmative!



If we must relate intimately with fellow humans (Christians inclusive), we must be ready for disappointments, betrayals and heartbreaks of some sort. Elizabeth Elliot said, “The only place where we are free and immune from the perturbations of love is in Hell.” I rather would endure, and live through heartbreak than live in a castle where love can’t be experienced. We are vulnerable in insofar as we live on earth. Jesus Christ was not immune from heart break and was betrayed and denied by his trusted friends with whom he ate together with for 3 years. His disciples never imagined they would disown their own rabbi, master and Lord. Yet they did, and Jesus was heartbroken, and lonely atop the rugged cross at Calvary!

We never can fully protect our hearts from heartbreaks much as a life insurance cover does not by any means protect one from dying. With this mindset, we can enter into and truly enjoy relationships with others not minding how they treat or value us. By so doing, we can bounce back to life even when a trusted friend disappoints or fails to keep a promise made.

Not until we die to that self-protective instinct in us, we may never be truly liberated from the fear of being hurt, which keeps many of us from reaching out to others with the arm of friendship. Like the surgeon who debrides an indolent ulcer for granulation tissue and healing to take place, we need to open up our wounded hearts for God’s healing salve to work its work in us.In essence,it's human to experience a heart break, and it's complimentary divine component is called Divine healing ministered through the agency of God's Divine Love by favor of the Sweet Holy Spirit who inhabits our lives and ensures we become all that God designed us to be.

Jesus said, “except a corn of wheat dies, it abides alone”.

Except we reach out to others, we may never break out of the prison of self. Dare to be “vulnerable” so you can savor the riches locked up in other people which can only be prospected via meaningful relationships.

Stay blessed and wonderful week.I am still your friend and brother.

Felix Abrahams Obi

(Nuggetzman)




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