Short Stories

A Forgiving Heart

by Jennifer RICKS
04/03/21
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                                            A Forgiving Heart

                                           By Jennifer N Ricks

Tears streamed down her face as she read the text messages.

  I had fun last night. Let us do it again. Love You.

 She could not believe this was happening. She was trying to convince herself that what she was feeling was just that, a feeling. She tried to downplay her feelings due to her insecurities and fears.  But now she knew the truth and to be honest she wished she did not.

   Wiping her face, I got up and decided to get some fresh air. She needed to think, and she could not with all of this going on.  She grabbed her bag and coat and headed out the door.

    Once inside the car, she thought about where to go. Movies? No. She was not in the mood with dealing with people and lines now. Bookstore? No. I was not in the mood for reading.

Just then, my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, I saw that it was my friend Angelica.

   “Oh good. She can distract me for a bit.” I thought to myself.

    “Hey Angelica. How is it going. I asked.

   “I’m good girl. I felt led to call you and to check on you. Are you doing anything right now?” She asked.

   “No, I was just sitting here trying to think of something to do.  I needed to get out of the house. I replied trying not to cry.

   But Angelica caught on. “What’s wrong?”

    I did not want to tell her, but I knew she would not let up if I did not tell her. 

    “I found messages on my husband’s phone. I said, my voice cracking.

“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to hear that. Did you want some company? We can go to get some coffee or something.”

I quickly agreed.  After receiving the address to the coffeeshop, I headed to meet her.

 Once there, she ran up to me and quickly hugged me. We then turned and walked in the coffeeshop.

  After ordering our coffee, we found a booth in a quiet corner and sat down.  Angelica quietly watched me as I took a sip of my coffee. She then asked, “What happened?

  I sighed and said, “Well, this morning I was getting ready to start my day, I heard a ping on my husband’s phone. When I picked it up, it read, “I have fun last night. Let us do it again. Love you.

 Angelica sighed. “Oh my gosh. I am sorry to hear that. Are you sure it was not a family member?”

  I nodded. “Most of his family he has their numbers programmed in his phone.”

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say. Angelica replied.  “What are you going to do?”

    I shrugged my shoulders. I do not have family close by.  I was just going to drive around until I couldn’t drive around anymore.”

Angelica studied me for a moment.  Finally, she said, “Why don’t you come with me to church. When she saw the expression on my face, she replied, I know that it is not your thing, but it will be better than driving around.”

 I was hesitant. Yes, she was right. Church was not my thing. I did not want to be around hypocritical and religious people right now.  As soon as I tell them that my husband cheated, they may start quoting scripture and to be honest, I did not want to hear it.  But then again, it may benefit me if I go.

“Ok, I’ll come, but I hope nobody will say anything. I replied.

After paying for our coffee, we left, and I followed her to her church for Bible Study.

    Once there, we began to walk with her to the church. Upon viewing, it looked a little rundown like it had seen better days. The brick looked like it anyways. There was a small version of the cross in the very front and had a purple sash dropped at the middle part of it. Despite the appearance of the building, the lawn was immaculate with beautiful honeysuckle bushes near the front door. As we drew closer, there was a sudden breeze, and I can faintly smell the honeysuckle. It smelled so sweet and for a moment, I forgot all about my problems.

  We managed to come inside where you can faintly smell fresh coffee. Not only that, but you can also feel a sense of peace. It felt like you just wanted to soak in it. I quickly brushed that aside and followed Angelica into the sanctuary.

    When we got inside, the worship team was leading worship. I could not make out the song, but I noticed that they had the lyrics on the screen. Looking at the screen the lyrics read:

               At the cross I bow my knees
            Where Your blood was shed for me
            There's no greater love than this

            You have overcome the grave
           Glory fills the highest praise
            What can separate me now.

          I looked all around me and everyone was engrossed in worship. People had their hands raised to the sky; others were kneeling.  They had so much peace and joy on their faces. Looking over at Angelica, I saw that her eyes were closed as well with her hands lifted to the sky and she had the same emotion on her face. I even saw tears falling down her face. At that moment, I thought that I was supposed to do that too, so I lifted my hands, but I felt awkward, so I quickly put them back down. But I still was wondering how they had so much peace and joy and I wondered how I can receive that as well.

  Just then, a man had walked up on the stage. I assumed he was the pastor due to him having a bible in his hand. He was or at least looked around the same age as my dad. He had dark salt and pepper hair and had a strong build. He wore blue jeans and a light-colored top with brown boots. He did not look like a standard pastor that you saw on tv or any church for that matter.  I stood in amazement as he briefly lifted his hands and said, “We praise you Father for your marvelous moves and your Glory that we feel in this place. We honor and bless you today and we pray that whatever Word you have for us, that it will be planted in our hearts and we can live it out so that you can get the Glory and the Honor and the praise. We ask all these things in the matchless name of Jesus Christ. Amen.”

    Everyone said amen and they started to sit, but the pastor stopped them.

     “Let’s greet everyone and welcome any visitors that we have today.”

       The congregation turned and began to hug one another and just fellowshipped with one another. People came beside me and said hello and welcomed me. A few even hugged me. I should have felt awkward by the affections of the members of the church, but for some reason, I felt at home.

     After everyone settled down, the pastor began to go into his lesson. I gasped when I heard the topic: Forgiveness.

Oh, boy. I thought.

    He went and told of the scripture from the book of Matthew 6:14   He began to read.

    And Jesus spoke these words: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

   The pastor looked out at the congregation with seriousness in his eyes, “If we cannot forgive brothers and sister, husband and wife, etc. with the things they have done to us, how can we expect the Father to forgive us?  If we harbor hatred, bitterness, or resentment in our hearts, how can we be used by God?  I know its easier said than done. You are probably asking yourself, why should I forgive him or her? Let me tell you, forgiveness is not for them, its for you!  Forgiveness sets the person that was wrong free from all those chains of hurt, pain, etc. Wouldn’t we want to experience the freedom that come from God?  Do not get me wrong, I know that the hurt is too much to bear, and you feel like you cannot take it anymore. That is when you give it over to Jesus and allow Him to heal you.   But in the meantime, you must forgive them. No matter how many times they hurt you and continue to do so.  Continue you say? Yes. Consider what Peter says in Matthew 18:22:”:

  Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

   “So, we must continue to forgive. Not only for them, but for us and our sanity.”

      “I do not know who needs to hear this today, but the Lord knows you are hurting. Maybe from a spouse or a friend.  But I am here to tell you that God loves you and He sees your hurt and He wants you to give it to Him. Then forgive the person who wronged you. I know its not easy, you may have to ask the Father to continually pray for them and yourself. But do not hold on to that pain. Give it to God.  I am going to open the floor and whoever desires prayer do not be afraid. Come and receive from the Father today.”

        By then tears were streaming down my face like buckets. It was like the Lord was directly talking to me. I knew then the Lord had me here for a reason.

  Angelica lightly touched my shoulder. “What are you thinking?” She asked.

“I’m thinking about going up there.”  I said sobbing.

“Come on, I’ll go with you.” She spoke.

    Walking from my seat, Angelica and I walked slowly to the front. My heart was pounding. What will the pastor say? What are the other church members thinking? Am I making the right decision?

   Before I thought about bolting, it was too late. I was standing in front of the pastor.  He had such kindness and compassion in his eyes. It made me feel at ease being up there.

 “Blessings. What is your prayer request?” He asked.

     Tears flooded my eyes. “I believe my husband’s cheating on me.” I said, my voice breaking.

      Compassion fille his face and eyes and he began to give me encouraging words and he laid his hand on my forehead and prayed for me. He prayed for peace ad joy to flood my heart and to experience love from the Lord.  As he was praying for me, I felt such peace flood over me and so much joy. So much joy that I wanted to laugh.

   After he prayed for me, he reminded me that God loved me, and He would always be there for me. I left with joy in my heart, I did not want it to stop.

  After service, I said goodbye to Angelica and got in my car. I felt so free and now I know that whatever the outcome with me and my husband, the Lord will be with me.