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Danni is my dear friend whom I don’t see often, yet we manage to schedule coffee dates about twice a year to stay connected and exchange stories highlighting the chronicles of our lives.
Her family owned a restaurant many years ago, and during our five years of employment together at the front desk, I listened to hours of her endless chatter and felt trapped as her inescapable audience. Our worlds did not have much overlap at the time, except that we both enjoyed the social environment our jobs provided. After that, the road split, and I did not know how to enter her world any more than she knew how to enter mine.
As coworkers spending long hours together, Danni dramatized stories about in-law frustrations, her lavish spending, frequent vacations and taste in fine wines. She had this habit of talking incessantly about herself, and from observing her behavior at the restaurant with the staff and guests, I concluded she craved attention from anyone who would listen.
One year I noticed how often Danni spoke of her unresolved marriage conflicts, and how she felt emotionally starved from her husband’s lack of meaningful interaction, as he did not communicate with her in ways that exposed any measure of feelings or affections, thus, leaving her in a wake of sadness and escalated frustrations.
They had lost their firstborn from a wrongful death and the devastation that followed took her husband inside a shell of indifference where he felt protected against the reality of all that had transpired, while she retreated into a bleak world of despair, convinced she would never recover from her loss.
It was during this season of emptiness that she sought out the companionship of an old high school friend, equally struggling inside his own marriage. He offered the emotional comradery she longed for, and openly admitted his attraction to her. Both their marriages were at risk.
Soon after, we both resigned from our jobs and remained completely out of touch.
Years later, I resumed my position at the front desk under new ownership. I started to have dreams about Danni. I wondered what triggered the dreams, and if my subconscious was trying to tell me something. Then, to my shock and awe, she started coming into the restaurant on somewhat of a more regular basis. I surprised myself by hugging her and telling her I genuinely missed her. We made arrangements to meet, and when we sat down for our first coffee date, I realized I was talking to a different person. Danni's heart had changed. She had overcome some of her greatest obstacles, and placed herself on a new path moving forward.
She wasn’t the only one who changed over time. While I had been too quick to point out her character flaws, I cowered in shame having to admit my own. Danni may have displayed traits I looked down upon, but I could not avoid looking in the mirror, abhoring the flaws I saw in myself.
Was I ever a good witness to her, and did she see anything she longed to have as her own? I had become a Christian in part because of what I saw in others who followed Jesus, and I wanted to be that example to others who looked at my life and saw my passion for loving God and following his principles and commands. I knew he saw my flaws all along while I was blinded to them, just like I saw Danni’s flaws while she was blinded to them.
Oh how I talk endlessly to God about myself! There is always so much to say! But he is a patient listener and pays attention to every last detail I ramble on about.
Now when I meet with Danni, our words to each other hold a delicate transparency. We have the freedom to unload the details surrounding our hearts without any backlash or judgment. I had the privilege of sharing with Danni my own weaknesses, challenges, and heartaches. Oh it felt good to let a friend in on the secrets concerning my personal life and my faith.
I enjoy our coffee dates, and yes, I still do most of the listening, but Danni has found safety when confiding in me, and has entrusted many of her secrets with me.
I marvel at how God orchestrates friendships to influence us in ways we least expect them to. Everything that happens in our lives has a purpose, and if we are patient, and trust God for the outcome of every situation, we get the honor of seeing how He operates up close, just for us, in the most personal of ways. I am forever thankful I can talk endlessly with Him, knowing He loves to listen to my stories.
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