Encouragement

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Where Does It Really Hurt?


Nothing has ever hurt more than the pain of rejection. I don’t even have a close second. Dissapointment, failure and guilt are way down the line. Rejection cuts like a knife and penetrates a place deep in the heart that nothing else can reach. It has giving true meaning to the expression, “I’d rather die” more than once in my life. The first encounter I can recall with this monster occurred when I was thrown out of a neighborhood club when I was nine years old. There were periodical purges in the club which I gleefully participated in over the course of two or three years prior to my shameful exit. But the sting of my ejection was unbearable. Yet, I did not reflect on how I had made others feel as I was so devastated that I could only think of how worthless I felt.

The next time I fell into the abyss of abandonment was when Cookie Humble broke off my first romance in eight grade. She said she wanted to be a nun. Shortly after I tried to pick up the pieces of my heart and “Be a man” about the matter, I learned that it was just a line she told guys when she was dumping them for some one of more interest; a process which usually took two months. I felt like a worthless fool. Then it got worse, I had dumped Bonnie Burke, the sweetest girl in the school, for Cookie and now was mud in both of their eyes. To punctuate the pain, Jimmy Dangler, who still regarded me as a rival for Bonnie’s affections, punched me out. I felt cursed!

My next serious episode occurred in high school when the then girl of my dreams, Maureen, jumped over the back seat of the car we were ridding in to make out with my best friend. A deed I made sure to repay her for three years later. If there is any pattern here, it is that I am at the center of my rejection experiences and my emotions take precedent over everything and every one else.

Few world argue that there is anything more powerful than the need to belong or anything more devastating than the experience that you don’t. Few would disagree that both are self focused... C. S. Lewis writes that, “In all men’s lives, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside” Henri Nouwen tells us” As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain ‘hooked’ to the world – trying, failing, and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest cravings of my heart.”

But when, where and how were the conditions for this worldly love set? It was in a place called Eden, a very long time ago. Man rejected the eternal, unconditional love of his Creator for the temporal, give to get love of the created. It was an act of rebellion rooted in pride, urged by evil and necessitated by the gift of free will. Last time anybody checked, the only condition of God’s boundless and eternal love was that it be chosen freely. His choice was made known on the Cross, ours is declared by our willingness to love as He has commanded. He has created us with the freedom to love. Rejection can only occur in the world and it is a human act, God’s love nullifies it, protects us from it and comes with an unconditional guarantee. We are empowered by our birthright to accept or reject God’s gift. It is the only rejection of any real, eternal consequence and it is entirely in our hands. Praise God!

Granted, the aforementioned does little to lessen the sharp sting of rejection. Let us then reflect upon a greater sting. The sting of being rejected by His own family, friends, neighbors, people, leaders and being separated from the Father He loves with His whole being. The sting of the whip against His tender flesh, the contemptuous spit on His face, the thorns piercing His scalp, the nails penetrating nerves and bone. His response; "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) Therein lies the cure for rejection; love and forgiveness. That too, is entirely in our hands. Praise God some more!

Desperado 11/19/04
RED

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