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Sunrise on the Mountain
Howard L. Pierce
Author requests article critique
The sunrise...on the mountain
Cast its spell...of shade and light,
As it 'spoke'.... "NEW DAY IS COMING!"
And the darkness...took its flight.
All was quiet around the 'homeplace'...
Hens and roosters...fast asleep,
Soon to start their day's 'recital'....
With its 'crowing'...'cluck'...and 'peep.'
Sudden movement...as the 'grownups'
Start another day of chores.
Mom is busy...in the kitchen;
Dad's work takes him 'out-of-doors.'
Soon the coffee's nois'ly perking,
And the biscuits have been made.
Hogs are 'slopped' and milking's finished,
"Gather eggs"...the hens have laid.
Youngsters...unaware of motion
Caring not...that day is near,
Sleeping soundly in the bedroom;
'Sandman' sounds are all they hear.
'Neath the covers...warm and cozy,
Bodies cringe...as "Time to rise!"
Echoes through the open doorway
Taunting puffy....sleepy eyes.
Pleasant dreams are interrupted,
Thoughts of 'rest' come to an end.
It is sunrise...on the mountain,
When life's rituals begin.
Coffee's aromatic blending;
Other odors that entice....
Bacon sizzling in the skillet,
Apples laced with tempting spice!
True...the reveries....were shattered,
But...THEY'RE only...transient schemes,
While the sunrise...on the mountain...
Opens up life's....greatest dreams!
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Reader Count & Comments
26 Apr 2005
I agree with the others. The images are so vivid one is transported to the mountain and beyond, yet keeping pace with the domestic activities. You are a wonderful poet.
21 Nov 2004
Howard, I agree with the others, this is perfect. You should certainly submit it to be published. Keep writing for His glory! Blessings, Rita
20 Nov 2004
Very nice poem. I liked the images you created. My only suggestion is that I don't think you need the parentheses and ellipses you used. The poem would be more readable without them and it would take nothing from your meaning. Good job.
20 Nov 2004
Oh, that I could live where 'sunrise on the mountain...' marked my awareness on every point in my journey.
"Son-rise" truly casts His light...on each moment...making special, even the simple things. If I could but stay in the reality of this truth.
I love your work. It is so visual. I see it! I feel it! I hear it! And I am blessed! I think we all needed 'the mountain,' in the formative years of our life. Thank you for bringing it to us, so beautifully.
20 Nov 2004
THIS IS PERFECT!! I agree with the others, the parenthesis and such are not needed. You writing is already strong enough.
I would send this puppy out to get published!
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