Humor

My Favorite Day of the Week Is Tomorrow

by James Snyder 
07/06/19
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It was one of those weeks when the more I completed, the more I had to do. These are not my favorite kind of weeks. So frustrating.

During these weeks, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage finagles her infamous “Honey-Do-List” in my direction. Because I am busy doing other things and distracted, I do not actually see what she is doing.

She can slip one of her “To-Do” jobs on to my schedule without my knowing it. I see it on my schedule and assume it is one more job to do. When I see it, I say to myself, “I’ll do that tomorrow.” Then I can move on to my next project.

My favorite saying has been, “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?”

It has become a habit with me. The wife will ask me if I have time to do something and I always say, “Not now, but I can do it tomorrow.” Of course, I am hoping that by the time tomorrow comes she will have forgotten that little job.

It seems that the older I get, the more I am pushing everything off until tomorrow. Then, when tomorrow comes, I push it off until the next tomorrow and soon, it is too late to do it. Do not let this get out, but that has been my plan all the time.

I seem to have gotten away with it until recently. I love it when a plan comes together, but when it falls apart, it certainly is no laughing matter.

Pushing things off until tomorrow does have a good side to it. Many things I am supposed to do are not that significant and if they are not done, there is no consequence. My life sometimes gets all caught up in doing things I do not have to do, and I know who I have to blame for that. Just saying.

This started when I was in grade school. When I had homework to do and for some reason I did not do it, I always promised the teacher that I will do it tomorrow. I got away with it for a while.

When I was going to grade school, the teachers were so very smart. I do not know what they are like today, but then they could catch up with somebody like me with very little effort. My teacher finally caught up with me.

“So,” my teacher said as I told her that I would have to do my homework tomorrow, “this is the tomorrow you talked about yesterday. Tomorrow is here and so now you must do the work.”

All I could do was just stare at her. Never for one moment did I think tomorrow would ever come. My teacher was a good teacher so she taught me that when I put things off until tomorrow, tomorrow finally shows up. According to her, my tomorrow had caught up with me.

I had to forfeit many recesses to catch up with all the home work I pushed off until “tomorrow.”

Of course, it was not long until my wife caught up to my “tomorrow strategy” like my teacher did.

One morning she got up a little bit before me and got the coffee going. I got up and stumbled into the kitchen. There she stood with a huge sign that read, “Today is your Tomorrow you talked about Yesterday. Welcome to Tomorrow.”

To see this before having my morning coffee was rather alarming. At first, I had no idea what she was talking about. Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, what was she trying to say. I just was not on the same page as she was. In fact, I was not in the same book.

“What are you talking about?” I said about as confused as I have ever been in my life.

“Remember,” she said rather seriously, “all the things you told me that you would do tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.”

Then she handed me a list with “Tomorrow’s To-Do List” written on the top. There were about a dozen things she jotted down that I said I would do tomorrow.

As I was reading through this list, she said to me, “I have you figured out. Your favorite day of the week is tomorrow.”

She has me figured out, alright. It is not that I do not like doing things; I am a procrastinator when it comes to certain things. My whole idea is, if I put something off long enough my wife will forget that she asked me to do it.

I looked at her and said, “You do know that it will take me at least three tomorrow’s to finish this list!”

She laughed one of her hysterical laughter’s and said, “Let the tomorrows be with you.”

This was the first time my tomorrows ever caught up with me.

As I began working on my “tomorrow tasks,” I happen to think of what David said in one of his Psalms. “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

I need to learn how to appreciate each day and not push things off until tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day, but I certainly have no guarantee that I will see it. I need to learn how to “rejoice and be glad” in the day that is before me.