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by Tina Cole
03/09/19
For Sale
Author requests article critique

ANOTHER DAY DAWNING

AS SOON AS TARA MONROE OPENED HER SOMBER GREEN EYES TO THE
MORNING
SUNLIGHT, SHE WAS STRUCK BY THE SENSE OF A GREAT BURDEN THAT
THREATENED
TO SUFFOCATE HER. SHE KNEW THAT THE DAY WAS TO BRING NOTHING
BUT GRIEF
TO HERSELF AND HER TWO CHILDREN. ANGUISH PIERCED HER HEART AS
SHE
TURNED HER ATTENTION TOWARDS EIGHT YEAR OLD KELLY AND TEN
YEAR OLD
LITTLE RANDY WHO WERE LYING BESIDE HER, SOUND ASLEEP.
TARA SLOWLY RAISED HERSELF UP FROM THE LARGE BED IN HER
PARENT’S GUEST
BEDROOM AND GAZED UPON THE SPACIOUS SURROUNDINGS. IN TIMES
PAST SHE HAD
LOVED TO VISIT HER PARENT’S HOME BECAUSE IT FELT LIKE SHE WAS IN
THE
MIDST OF A PEACEFUL SANCTUARY. BUT TODAY SHE FOUND NO KIND OF
PEACE OR
SANCTUARY HERE.
OPENING THE FRENCH DOORS TO THE VERANDA, TARA WALKED OUTSIDE
TO VIEW THE
FLOWER GARDEN BELOW. RADIANT COLORS OF RED, YELLOW, WHITE,
AND LAVENDER
NESTLED IN GREEN FOLIAGE WERE DISPLAYED ON A GENTLE SLOPE,
TARA
WONDERED BEWILDEREDLY HOW THE WORLD COULD BE SO WARM AND
FULL OF LIFE
WHEN SHE FELT SO NUMB INSIDE. SHE CHILDISHLY WISHED THAT THE
HOT TEXAS
SUN WOULD SOMEHOW BURN OUT THE SORROW OF HER SOUL. WITH A
LOW MURMUR
SHE
SPOKE “GOD, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. RANDY’S
GONE AND I CAN’T BELIEVE I’LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN! I CAN’T GO ON
BY
MYSELF–PLEASE, HELP ME FIND THE WAY!”
AFTER A SMALL BREAKFAST IN THE ELABORATE DINING ROOM TARA
TOOK THE
CHILDREN TO HER FATHER’S DEN WHERE THEY WAITED ON HER
PARENTS TO FINISH
PREPARATIONS TO LEAVE FOR THE CHURCH. KELLY’S CHUBBY FACE
BORE A SAD,
FORLORN LOOK AS SHE CRAWLED UP BESIDE HER MOTHER ON THE SOFA.
TARA
WRAPPED HER LONG SLIM ARMS AROUND HER SMALL DAUGHTER AND
THOUGHT TO
HERSELF “I HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR THEM BUT HOW LONG CAN I GO ON
PRETENDING?”
RANDY JR.’S DEEP BLUE EYES FILLED WITH TEARS AS HE LAY HIS CURLY
DARK
HEAD UPON HIS GRANDFATHER’S DESK AND TRIED UNSUCCESSFULLY TO
STIFLE HIS
SOBS. TARA DID NOT KNOW HOW TO COMFORT HER YOUNG SON. HE HAD
ALWAYS
BEEN A RESERVED CHILD WHO WAS DIFFICULT FOR HER TO
UNDERSTAND. AS SHE
PAINFULLY LISTENED TO THE LOW SOBBING CRY OF HER SON, TARA
BITTER
SWEETLY OBSERVED HOW MUCH HE RESEMBLED HER LATE HUSBAND.
RANDALL DAVID MONROE HAD MARRIED TARA LEE ANN FARRELL, A
SLENDER AND
LONG HAIRED BLONDE OF FRENCH DESCENT, WHILE SHE WAS IN HER
LAST YEAR OF
COLLEGE. TARA’S FATHER, WHO ONLY EQUATED WORTH WITH MONEY,
WAS VERY
DISPLEASED WITH THE MARRIAGE. RANDY WAS A CONSTRUCTION
WORKER LIKE MOST
OF THE MEN IN HIS FAMILY. AND THOUGH HE REALIZED THE DISDAIN
THAT HIS
FATHER-IN-LAW FELT TOWARD HIM, HE NEVER ALLOWED IT TO AFFECT
HIM IN A
NEGATIVE WAY.
AS TARA AND HER FAMILY DROVE UP TO THE CHURCH IN A LIMOUSINE,
FAMILY
AND FRIENDS FROM NEAR AND FAR WERE FILLING THE CHURCH
BUILDING. AFTER
BEING SEATED FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, SHE FINALLY FORCED
HERSELF TO
RAISE HER HEAD AND GLANCE OVER THE IMMENSE CROWD THAT HAD
GATHERED TO
PAY THEIR LAST RESPECTS TO THE MAN SHE HAD LOVED FOR THIRTEEN
YEARS.
RANDY’S MOTHER AND FATHER TURNED AROUND IN THEIR PEW AND
GAVE HER AND
THE CHILDREN A COMFORTING SMILE. THE GRIEF APPARENT ON THEIR
FACES, YET
AN EVIDENCE OF PEACE IN THEIR EYES.
BROTHER JACOBS, A SHORT SLIM, ELDERLY MAN WITH A SWARTHY
COMPLEXION,
EMERGED FROM BEHIND THE PULPIT. HE HAD BEEN THE MONROE
FAMILY’S PASTOR
EVER SINCE THEY HAD MOVED FROM OKLAHOMA TO DALLAS ALMOST
TWENTY-FIVE
YEARS AGO. THERE WERE FEW MEN THAT HER HUSBAND HAD
RESPECTED AND
ADMIRED AS MUCH AS HE DID TOM JACOBS.
ABOUT TWO WEEKS AFTER THE FUNERAL, WHILE STILL AT HER
PARENT’S HOUSE,
TARA WAS STARTLED AWAKE BY THE FRIGHTENED SCREAMING OF HER
YOUNG
DAUGHTER WHO HAD BEEN SLEEPING IN AN ADJOINING BEDROOM.
KELLY CAME
RACING INTO HER MOTHER’S AWAITING ARMS. “KELLY HONEY WHAT’S
WRONG
WITH YOU! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU!” THE TERRIFIED GIRL TRIED
TO
ANSWER HER MOTHER BETWEEN SOBBING AND GASPING FOR BREATH. …
I SAW A
BIG TRUCK CHASING YOU AND IT…IT WAS ABOUT TO HIT YOU!” SHE
HALTED FOR A MOMENT, WIPING HER TEAR FILLED EYES AND CATCHING
HER
BREATH. THEN CONTINUED,” I TRIED TO STOP IT MOMA.. BUT…THEN I
WOKE UP!”
TARA LOVINGLY EMBRACED THE CHILD AND BEGAN STROKING HER
LONG HONEY
COLORED HAIR. “LISTEN TO ME KELLY, BABY.” SHE SAID INTENTLY
LOOKING INTO THE GIRL’S BIG, PERPLEXED GREEN EYES, “IT WAS JUST A
DREAM, A BAD DREAM. THERE WAS NOTHING REAL ABOUT IT.
EVERYTHING IS OKAY
AND I’M HERE AND I’M NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU.” SHE THEN ROCKED
HER
SMALL, TREMBLING CHILD BACK TO SLEEP.
THE FOLLOWING SUNDAY MORNING KELLY, RANDY JR., AND
TARA MONROE DRESSED
TO GO TO CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE FUNERAL. AFTER
GREETINGS
AND CONDOLENCES FROM CHURCH MEMBERS THEY FOUND A PLACE TO
SIT DOWN
BESIDE OF DONAVAN AND ANNA, RANDY’S PARENTS. THE LARGE
MODERN STYLE,
BRICK CHURCH WAS NEARLY FILLED TO CAPACITY WHEN PASTOR
JACOBS WALKED TO
THE PULPIT CARRYING HIS WORN LEATHER BIBLE.
PASTOR JACOBS WAS HALF WAY THROUGH HIS SERMON ON THE
SAMARITAN WOMAN AT
THE WELL, WHEN TARA VAGUELY SENSED A DISQUIETNESS IN HER
HEART. WHILE
SHE LONGED FOR THE SERVICE TO END A CALL FOR PRAYER REQUESTS
WAS
ANNOUNCED. AN ELDERLY SPANISH WOMAN STOOD UP AND ASKED FOR
PRAYER FOR
CARLOS RAMIREZ. AS SOON AS TARA HEARD THE MAN’S NAME SHE
ABRUPTLY ROSE
TO HER FEET AND PRODDED HER CONFUSED CHILDREN UP FROM THE
PEW, DOWN THE
AISLE AND OUT THE CHURCH DOORS.
AS SHE PULLED INTO THE DRIVEWAY OF HER TWO STORY BRICK HOME
LONG
FORGOTTEN MEMORIES STIRRED HER EMOTIONS. SHE SLOWLY SCANNED
THEIR LARGE
FRONT YARD ABUNDANTLY ADORNED WITH A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT
TREES.
UNDER THE HUGE FLOURISHING OAK TREE BECKONING HER TO COME TO
THE THE
TIRE SWING, RANDY STOOD IN THE EXACT SPOT HE HAD JUST A FEW
SHORT
MONTHS AGO. SHE TURNED AND HE WAS UNDER THE PECAN TREE
LAUGHING, AS HE
PICKED UP PECANS AND THREW THEM INTO A SMALL BAG IN YOUNG
KELLY’S
CHUBBY HANDS. BEFORE SHE REALIZED IT, TARA FOUND HERSELF OVER
BY THE
SOUTHERN MAGNOLIA PICKING A LARGE WHITE BLOOM OFF OF THE
GROUND,
IMMERSED IN A BITTERSWEET MEMORY OF HOW HER HUSBAND WOULD
OFTEN BRING
HER THE FRAGRANT FLOWER AFTER RETURNING HOME EACH EVENING.
THROUGH THE FOLLOWING WEEK, AS TARA WORKED AT HER TEACHING
JOB AT
GLADSTONE ELEMENTARY SHE FOUGHT FEELINGS OF DEEP DEPRESSION.
SHE LOVED
HER WORK AS A THIRD GRADE TEACHER. BUT SINCE RANDY’S DEATH AN
EMPTINESS
HAD CONTINUED TO VEX HER SOUL AND DISTRACT HER MIND. THE
FACULTY AT THE
SCHOOL HAD ALREADY NOTICED THE CHANGE IN HER AND AS A RESULT,
THE
PRINCIPAL HAD OFFERED HER A LEAVE OF ABSENCE. AFTER GETTING
OVER HER
DISCONCERTION, TARA DECIDED IT WOULD BE IN EVERYONE’S BEST
INTEREST IF
SHE TOOK A SHORT BREAK.
“HELLO DIANA” TARA ANSWERED THE FRONT DOOR WITH FEIGNED
CHEERFULNESS. DIANE MONROE WHO WAS HER HUSBAND’S BROTHER’S
WIFE, HAD
BEEN HER CLOSEST FRIEND FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS.
WELL ARE YOU READY TO GO SHOPPING TILL WE DROP?” DIANE ASKED
WITH
A SCRUTINIZING LOOK. “READY AS EVER!” TARA RESPONDED WITH
FORCED ENTHUSIASM AS SHE PICKED UP HER SMALL PURSE AND
FOLLOWED HER
FRIEND OUT THE DOOR.
AS THEY WERE DRIVING BACK FROM DOWNTOWN, DIANE TURNED TO
TARA AND ASKED
“HAS KELLY HAD ANYMORE NIGHTMARES?” TARA PAUSED FOR A
MOMENT
AND THEN SPOKE SOLEMNLY, “SHE HAD ONE MORE JUST ABOUT A WEEK
AGO
AND I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM ABOUT THAT MAN JUST LAST NIGHT.”
“TELL ME ABOUT IT.” HER FRIEND SAID INTENTLY. TARA SPOKE WITH
BITTERNESS IN HER TONE AS SHE GAVE AN ABBREVIATED VERSION OF
HER DREAM
TO DIANE. “I DREAMT THAT I WAS BEATING HIS FACE WITH MY FISTS AS
THE BLOOD POURED DOWN HIS SHIRT.”
SUNDAY AFTERNOON THE PHONE RANG AND LITTLE RANDY RAN TO
ANSWER IT.
“MOMA! GRAND ANNA WANTS TO KNOW IF WE CAN COME OVER FOR
SUPPER.
PLEASE MOMA, LETS GO!” KELLY WHO HAD RACED DOWN THE STAIRS,
REPEATED THE PLEA, “OH ALL RIGHT TELL YOUR GRANDMA WE’LL
COME.” TARA REPLIED YIELDINGLY.
AFTER LITTLE RANDY HAD EATEN A PIECE OB PECAN PIE HE WAS READY
TO GO
OUTSIDE AND PLAY WITH HIS SISTER AND DIANE’S TWO BOYS. DONOVAN
AND HIS
YOUNGER SON GARY WENT OUTSIDE TO THE SCREENED PORCH,
CARRYING THEIR
GUITARS.
THEY’RE GETTING READY TO PRACTICE THE SONG BROTHER JACOBS
WANTS THEM TO
SING AT CHURCH.” ANNA MONROE SURMISED AFTER SHE SAW THE TWO
MEN
DEPART. WITHIN A FEW MINUTES A MELODIOUS HYMN COULD BE HEARD
AS THEY
SUNG “SOMETIMES IT SEEMS I’LL NEVER SEE ANOTHER DAY DAWNING.”
WHICH TARA RECOGNIZED FROM THE SONG “JOY IN THE MORNING.”
WHEN SHE WAS CLEARING THE TABLE AND DIANE AND TARA WERE
PREPARING TO
CLEAN THE DISHES ANNA INQUIRED AS TO WHY TARA HAD NOT BEEN TO
CHURCH IN
A FEW WEEKS. “WELL I GUESS ANNA, I’VE JUST BEEN SO CAUGHT UP IN
SCHOOL WORK AND FALL HOUSE CLEANING.” “IS THAT ALL?” HER
MOTHER IN LAW QUESTIONED CAREFULLY AS DIANE LISTENED. WHILE
TRYING TO
CONCEAL THE ENTIRE REASON, TARA SAID, “TO TELL THE TRUTH, IT HAS
REALLY BEEN HARD TO ATTEND THE SAME CHURCH I WENT TO WITH
RANDY FOR
MOST OF OUR MARRIAGE. IT’S JUST NOT THE SAME.” SHE SAID AS SHE
WIPED AWAY TEARS THAT FELL DOWN HER CHEEKS. ANNA
IMMEDIATELY EMBRACED
HER DAUGHTER IN LAW AND SPOKE WITH CERTAINTY “GOD IS OUR
STRENGTH
CHILD, WE CAN’T DO IT ALONE.”
LYING IN BED THAT NIGHT, TARA FELT UNEASY WITH THE REALIZATION
THAT SHE
HAD NOT BEEN COMPLETELY TRUTHFUL WITH RANDY’S MOM. DIANE,
SHE KNEW, WAS
WELL AWARE OF WHY TARA HADN’T RETURNED TO CHURCH. HER
FRIEND HAD MILDLY
REPROVED HER WITH A PURPOSEFUL LOOK AFTER HER HUSBAND GARY
HAD ASKED
TARA IF SHE’D BE AT CHURCH THAT EVENING. IT WAS VERY PECULIAR
TO TARA
THAT NO ONE IN RANDY’S FAMILY SEEMED TO BE DISTURBED, IN THE
LEAST,
THAT CARLOS RAMIREZ’S GRANDMOTHER HAD THE NERVE TO ASK THE
ENTIRE
CHURCH TO PRAY FOR THE DRUNKARD WHO HAD KILLED HER HUSBAND.
THE PHONE RANG THE NEXT AFTERNOON JUST AS TARA WAS PICKING UP
HER KEYS
AND HEADING OUT THE DOOR TO DO SOME MUCH NEEDED GROCERY
SHOPPING.
“TARA, I WAS HOPING YOU WERE AT HOME.” TARA RECOGNIZED THE
VIBRANT VOICE OB BROTHER JACOBS. HE CONTINUED, “I JUST HEARD
THAT
YOU HAD TAKEN A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM TEACHING AND I WAS
CALLING TO SEE
IF THERE WAS ANYTHING KAYLA AND I CAN DO FOR YOU. WOULD YOU
LIKE US TO
COME AND VISIT?” AFTER A SHORT SILENCE SHE SPOKE BLUNTLY, “NO
THANK YOU. I’M JUST FINE. I MAY BE A LITTLE WORN DOWN BUT SOME
EXTRA
REST WILL HELP. I’M GLAD YOU CALLED THOUGH. TELL KAYLA HELLO
FOR
ME.”
ON FRIDAY MORNING, TARA WOKE FEELING LIKE SHE HAD BEEN
LABORING HARD IN
HER SLEEP. SUDDENLY SHE REMEMBERED WHAT SHE HAD DREAMT AND
REALIZED WHY
SHE FELT SO WEARY. SHE HAD BEEN CHASING CARLOS RAMIREZ FIRST
ON FOOT
THEN IN A BLACK TRUCK. BUT WHEN SHE FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO HIM,
HIS FACE
WOULD CHANGE INTO THE IMAGE OF RANDY. “GOD WHY CAN’T I HAVE
PEACE
OF MIND? HE IS THE ENEMY AND I CAN’T BE FREE OF HIM!” SHE CRIED,
BURROWING HER FACE INTO THE PILLOW.
OCCUPIED IN ARRANGING HER FILING CABINET, TARA HEARD A LOUD
KNOCK AT
THE DOOR. DIANE WAS STANDING AT THE DOOR WITH A TROUBLED
LOOK ON HER
FACE. HER GENERALLY COIFFURED DARK HAIR WAS TIED BACK IN A
PONYTAIL.
“DIANE! I SURE WASN’T EXPECTING YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
THIS
EARLY IN THE DAY?” TARA ASKED BEWILDEREDLY. “I HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL YOU THAT I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD HEAR FROM ME FIRST.”
DIANE
SAID AS SHE GUIDED TARA TO THE LARGE SOFA IN THE LIVING ROOM
WHERE THEY
SAT DOWN. TARA BEGAN BITING HER LOWER LIP, UNABLE TO SPEAK,
FEARING
WHAT WOULD COME OUT OF HER FRIEND’S MOUTH.
HE WAS DEAD! CARLOS RAMIREZ DURING THE NIGHT HAD TAKEN HIS
OWN LIFE!
THE GUARD HAD FOUND HIM WITH THE SHEET WRAPPED AROUND HIS
NECK. THE
SHOCK WAS TOO MUCH FOR TARA AND SHE BECAME LIGHTHEADED.
DIANE POSITIONED
A CUSHION ON THE SOFA AND TOLD HER TO LIE DOWN. AFTER ABOUT A
HALF HOUR
OF REPOSE DIANE TOLD HER FRIEND TO CALL IF SHE NEEDED HER AND
THEN SHE
GINGERLY CLOSED THE DOOR BEHIND HER. TARA WAS LEFT ALONE TO
ACQUIESCE
TO THE GUILT WHICH HAD EMERGED TO TAKE CENTER PLACE IN HER
EMOTIONS.
SHE FELT AS THOUGH HE HAD DIED AT HER VERY OWN HANDS.
WHILE THE CHILDREN WERE AT SCHOOL SHE SPENT MUCH OF HER TIME
IN HER
BEDROOM WRESTLING WITH THE GREAT WEIGHT IN HER CONSCIENCE.
THE HEAVY
BURDEN OF HATRED AND REVENGE THAT HAD CAUSED HER TO BE
SEPARATED FROM
THE BLESSINGS OF GOD’S LOVE AND MERCY WAS NOW EXPOSED. GOD
HAD SHOWN
HIS OMNIPOTENT LIGHT INTO THE DARKNESS OF HER SOUL AND SHE
KNEW WHAT
SHE HAD BECOME. MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT SHE PRAYED TO FIND
THE RELEASE
HER HEART DESPERATELY CRAVED.
A FEW WEEKS LATER, ON SUNDAY MORNING TARA WOKE HER CHILDREN
UP EARLY TO
MAKE SURE THEY WOULD BE READY FOR SUNDAY SCHOOL. “MOMA WE
HAVEN’T
BEEN TO CHURCH IN A LONG, LONG, TIME. WHY ARE WE GOING TODAY?”
ASKED LITTLE RANDY INQUISITIVELY. “IT’S TIME HONEY…ITS JUST
TIME.” SHE REPLIED DETERMINEDLY. “AND I ALSO THINK IT’S TIME,
FOR YOU, KELLY, AND ME TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER TALKING
ABOUT THE
GOOD AND HAPPY MEMORIES WE HAVE OF DADDY.”
AS SOON AS SHE SAW MRS. RAMIREZ ASCENDING THE CHURCH STEPS,
TARA
QUICKENED HER PACE TO MEET UP WITH THE ELDERLY WOMAN ON THE
CHURCH
PORCH. SHE SPOKE TO HER WITH LOVING SYMPATHY AND THEN
CONFESSED THE
UNFORGIVENESS THAT HAD ONCE FILLED HER HEART. THEY WARMLY
EMBRACED
BEFORE PARTING FROM EACH OTHER.
IN THE AFTERNOON, TARA SAT UNDER THE BIG OAK IN THEIR YARD
WHILE KELLY
AND LITTLE RANDY PLAYED WITH THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD FRIENDS. SHE
PICKED UP
HER JOURNAL AND HER PEN AND BEGAN TO WRITE: DEAR RANDY, I
HAVEN’T
WRITTEN A WORD IN HERE SINCE YOU LEFT, BUT NOW I HAVE
SOMETHING TO SAY.
I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL. WHEN YOU WENT AWAY I THOUGHT
YOU HAD TAKEN
MY JOY, MY PEACE, MY LOVE, ALONG WITH YOU. NOW I KNOW THAT
WASN’T TRUE
BECAUSE I FOUND JOY, PEACE, AND LOVE IN THE ONE WHO HAS IT TO
GIVEJESUS.
MY HEART HAD BECOME FILLED WITH BITTERNESS. THANK GOD I
HAVE
LEARNED TO FORGIVE AND BE FORGIVEN. YOUR JOURNEY IS FINISHED.
MINE, IT
SEEMS, HAS JUST BEGUN. UNTIL THEN…

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