Testimonies

Days of darkness

by jay supetran
08/14/18
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However many years anyone may live, let them enjoy them all. But let them remember the days of darkness,   for there will be many.  Everything to come is meaningless.

Ecclesiastes 11:8

Our lifespan was pegged at eighty years (Psalm 90:10), and going beyond those years is a special gift from God.  It seemed so short, but the general rule is, the years should be enjoyed. We hate spoilers and the writer of Ecclesiastes warned us of spoilers – the days of darkness. But hey, it is clear, there are years to be enjoyed as against days of darkness.  

 The Psalmist did not only enjoy the years but also the lessons in life he learned from them. In Psalm 90:12, he prayed, Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

I tried to number my days and came up with three sets of years of my life. The first set was the early years of   my childhood when I depended on my parents and where I had a wonderful time.  We were not rich but we have enough of God’s blessings. I learned so many things from my parents who taught me well, particularly my mother who was a church worker. It was also during this time when the basic foundations of my faith were nurtured.

The second set of years was in my youth, when I started to depend on myself. I believed in my strength and the knowledge I have acquired. As I moved outside my family and into the real world, I saw what was wrong with the society and have committed myself to be part of the change. I sought company from people who have the same ideals as mine.

It was at this point when I became aware of the days of darkness. Things did not work the way I wanted them to be, despite my efforts.  Most of the things I believed was right turned out to be wrong. Some of the ideals I deemed infallible were challenged, and proven false. Even people I considered best friends turned out to be my worst enemies! Frustrations filled my days.

My first realization was that the broken world cannot be fixed by my idealism, my knowledge and my strength, and I need the help of somebody. The second realization was, God is the answer. He makes all things possible, and  I am supposed to enjoy His creation not changed it to my liking. It was hard, but I learned to let go.

I am now at the third set of years, and I have surrendered myself to God, seeking His will in every decision I make. I thought this is called maturity, not based on the number years one has lived but on the knowledge of God and His will. I belong to the church, with people who are seeking and enjoying the presence of God in their lives.

Now I have more years to enjoy. The days of darkness were not meant to derail me, but I have flipped and learn life’s lessons from them.