Part 12b of ‘Let’s Talk about Marriage’ part of the ‘In Marriage’ series:
We are now on an educational journey of becoming more effective in our communication skills, to enhance our marital and parental relationships. As we grow in this area of our lives we find that we are becoming better and more effective in our leadership also.
It all began with seeking out the truth via the Bible. From there we began to develop a relationship with our heavenly Father (through His son, Jesus Christ) and as He guides and directs our paths (Pro. 3:6) through His Word (the Holy Bible) and the presence of His Holy Spirit in our lives, we find that the journey gets better, less bumpy, and more enjoyable.
As we face obstacles we are reminded that God is with us through the trials (Isa. 43:2) and that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb. 13:5, Due. 31:6, Ps. 118:6,7 & Matt. 28:20). Holding on to God’s promises that He will guide us and that He will never leave us nor forsake us, gives us courage to keep honouring Him by doing what He requires of us. As we honour Him we can see the results as He grants the desires of our hearts.
Encouragement to Spouses and Parents:
If you are seeking to walk the path of righteousness in your marital and parental relationship then my encouragement today for you is that you cast your cares upon the Lord and rest in His peace. Once you cast your cares upon Him and begin to rest in the knowledge that He is with you and will never leave you, your spiritual and emotional batteries will begin a process of recharging. At that point you will have a desire to seek His will for your life and honour Him in being obedient to His will. You will then begin to see a process of transformation taking place in your life as your outlook/perspective on life begins to change.
I heard a speaker on the topic of parenting say, ‘I am not God. I am not perfect…’ in reference to 1 John 4:18 which says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” In the context of parenting we cannot do a perfect job but God is love. He is perfect and His love is what casteth out fears. Our children are gifts to us. We do not own them and we do not know what’s best for them. God created them and He can love our children through us just as we can allow Him to love our spouses through us.
Therefore, my encouragement is to cast your burdens unto Jesus. He cares for you. Allow Him to train your heart to accept His love and reject the counterfeits that present themselves before you daily. Once you accept His love you will naturally transfer that love to your spouse and your children. That is your mission field. That is your first training ground. That is where you learn the art of humility.
On the mission field, you’ll learn how to love the unlovely (when your spouse hurt you or your children challenge your leadership). On the mission field, you’ll develop leadership skills (learning what is effective and what is ineffective). On the mission field, you gain the understanding that you are forever a student, even though others are looking to you for direction.
Embrace the role of a spouse and a parent. Remain teachable and allow those you lead to exercise their leadership role also. Don’t ‘lord it’ over your spouse (specifically speaking to husbands, who take the submission passages out of context, here) or your children (speaking to parents). Give children the freedom to exercise their leadership skills also (by giving them responsibilities appropriate to their age). They learn first by watching you and then imitating you so you must first train them up before giving them responsibilities.
The passage in Proverbs 22:6 is not just for the child when they are young, it is for life. That child will one day grow up to become an adult and the training they received as a child will shape the kind of spouse or parent they become.
‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it’ (Proverbs 22:6).
____End of series. Thank you for joining me on this journey. This discussion began in: ‘Let’s Talk about Marriage.’ (from the series: 'In Marriage' starting with, A Voice Crying Out in the wilderness of Marriage. You can find a link to follow-up articles at the end of each article).