Christian Living

6 Measures of Maturity

by jay supetran
07/15/18
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Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Titus 2:2

Maturity does not automatically come with age. Some people may have advanced physical age but with an attitude of young spoiled brat.  I grew up in culture that respects older people, where their words are commands that has to be obeyed without question. It is taboo for younger people to talk when older people are discussing things. One can speak only when asked. And this means I have to keep my ideas to myself.

My work in the development community exposed me to the environment where I have to speak out and share my perspectives and also listen to others. In the community, age does not matter, but ideas does matter. I learned to value engagement and sharing of ideas, respecting diverse opinions from other people. I like the idea of   being transparent with co-workers and generate consensus from as many participants as possible.

When I worked in Vietnam I have observed the Confucian tradition of respecting the elders. But it was distorted in a way that in the workplace, subordinates are not allowed to express their opinions. Meetings have to be among equals and protocol requires that only those with the same rank or position are to meet. I saw young people with good leadership potentials blocked from participating in activities that will enhance their skills just because they happen to be young, and in their place sat immature leaders.

In the church, I experienced working with some leaders who tend to act as if they were right all the time. These kinds of leaders dominate decision-making and push hard those who do not agree with them and look down to young people as competitors. Conflicts do occur and when it does, being older and experienced is one of the main defenses, and respect is demanded.

Respect is earned and not demanded. We can expect other people to respect us when we exhibit the characteristics of a mature person. Paul in his letter to Titus shared how older people can also be matured.

Temperate: being pleasant, soft spoken and not insistent on one’s position on issues; not to be   obnoxious.

Worthy of respect: with respect to other people, authoritative, talking with sense, selecting the right words and with pleasing personality, not shabby but properly groomed.

Self-controlled: good mannered, does not flare up, giving time to cool off during tense situations.

Sound in faith: deeply-rooted in the Word and not opinionated.

Love: having compassion and sympathy, sensitive to the needs and condition of other people.

Endurance: patience is evident and not easily giving up.

Experiences shape people’s characters and these features are not necessarily acquired despite the age. Sometimes, the sad experiences of a person even became the very reason for the person to become self-centered, defensive and demanding, the main signs of immaturity.

So there is a directive – we have to teach older men to be matured.