Humor

A Key On the Table Is Worth Many A Chuckle

by James Snyder 
05/26/18
Free to Share
Author requests article critique

  Message Writer
  Hire Writer

Tweet

When it comes to forgetting anything, I am king of the hill. My forgetting has nothing to do with age because I have been forgetting as long as I can remember.

Of course, with age comes an excuse for forgetting something. Don’t let anybody know this, but sometimes I use my age to say I forgot something which in reality I had not forgotten. Sometimes forgetting something is the best expression of valor.

I can’t remember all the things I have forgotten, however, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage remembers everything, even things I did not forget. Her memory is impeccable and I just have to live with it.

Often she will start a conversation with, “Do you remember…?”

Being married as long as I have, I always go with the affirmative nod, which I never forget to do.

When I was a young husband, I remember very distinctly correcting her about what I remembered about an incident she was talking about. I have remembered never to make that mistake again.

I am forgetting everything these days. It may be my keys. I get to the church office, check my pocket and realize I forgot my keys. Then I have to get on my cell phone (when I don’t forget that) and call my wife explaining that I forgot my keys.

Once we went for supper with some friends, I was to pick up the tab, and when the tab came, I had forgotten to bring my wallet. I am definitely not going to do that again.

Once I went on a trip and forgot where I was going. Fortunately, I had the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage with me who is an expert in telling me where to go.

I can’t tell you how many lectures she has given to Yours Truly in this area of forgetting. I think she should win some kind of a prize or a doctorate in this area. Maybe I should begin calling her, Dr. Never Forget.

I could not remember all of the things that I have forgotten. I could ask my wife, but that would take a day and a half for her to get them all on the table.

Our relationship is defined this way; I forget everything and she remembers everything. It can be good, but also it can have a negative impact upon a person’s life, like mine.

I just thought I would have to live out the rest of my life under this cloud of forgetfulness.

Then the most incredible thing happened, something that has changed the rest of my life.

My wife left early to go to the office and I was about a half-hour getting ready to go and when I went to the door, I noticed on the table was a key ring with a bunch of keys on it. At first, I thought it must be my wife’s and maybe I should pick it up and take it with me.

I realized one very important thing though. My wife never forgets anything. If I pick up these keys and take it to her, I am in more trouble than I could really handle at this stage of life. After all, if her keys are on the dining room table there is a pretty good purpose behind the whole thing. For me to sabotage that purpose would get me in a great deal of trouble, I can assure you.

I went out the door, got in my vehicle and started on my way to the office. As I was backing out of the driveway, my cell phone rang. I noticed it was my wife. I thought I was in trouble. What could I have done now or what didn’t I do that I should have done?

When I answered the phone, I heard a meek voice say, “Did you see any keys on the dining room table?” I answered in the affirmative not really understanding the situation.

“Could you,” she said most sweetly, “bring them over? I forgot them.”

There was a dramatic pause on my side of the cell phone. It took a few moments for the situation to sink in.

As I went back into the house, I was chuckling all the way in and picked up the delinquent keys.

When I got to the office, I handed them to her with the biggest smile I’ve ever had on my face that I can remember. She looked at me and then said rather softly, “You’re not laughing are you?”

I recognize I will forget a great deal of things in life. But this incident, I will never forget and it will always strike a chuckle cord in my heart.

Every once in a while, when nothing is going on, I will look at my wife and say, “Do you remember the keys?”

Glancing away from me she will say, “Don’t you think it’s time to forget that?”

Never in a million years!

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

Some things are worth forgetting as the apostle Paul points out here. The key to a happy life is knowing what to forget and what to remember.