I am a paradox of personality and very difficult to get along with. I have my idealistic vision and the struggle to bring reality into the harness with it. There is one path I am on. My vision is not narrow but single. I am not judgmental as I realize others have different beliefs and cultures which determine their truth. But I am opinionated. In college, I first met people and ideas foreign to my own. It was then not just right and wrong but reasoning as to where certain people are coming from. The damnable grey area where the footing is not so sure. In dealing with this I granted acceptance but not my approval. Now, as then, I listen but I do not accept all that I hear as truth.
I have concluded my core to stand upon one truth, one concept, and one founding belief. It is important to find the standard one should live up to and by. There are many in this world from which to choose. I have squandered much of my time in the company of those in the pit. They that only see with their eyes, hear with their ears, feel with their hands, smell with their nose and taste with their tongue. They who know nothing more than the instant pleasures the five senses can absorb. The continuous need for an unsatisfied quest for more. They have but one course and always left in hunger. Then there are those rare and beautiful lights which shine atop driving away the shadows. Those who go beyond what time shall diminish and search with the heart. If there is to be a real beauty, real love, then it has to be in one's heart. So I have returned in recent thought to that of my roots.
My Father was a Presbyterian Minister and was very busy in that endeavor. He was gone in the morning before I awoke and came home at night after I had gone to bed. His best tool of instruction was that by example. Of the five children, all have grown to be successful in their endeavors and none have fallen by the wayside. The road was not easy for each but we always had his instruction and example to lead us through. My Father was such a high standard to live up to that for the most part of my life I was intimidated and felt I could not measure up. Perhaps this the reason for my departure, I felt if I could not live up to his example then why attempt the journey. I found the truth in the arms of a great friend. David was no more or less than you or I. But he spoke some things to me that latched and has never loosed itself in my heart. It was not my Father but who lived within that I could never live up to. It was also the power of the cross which freed me from that burden. It is clear that Christ died for all the sins of the world, not just those committed by a few. His sacrifice, His blood purchase is available to all who will call upon His name, confess Him as Lord and believe upon His name. For Jesus to have made this tremendous sacrifice and then choose portions to which it should be denied destroys the greatest act of love known to man. It was then while tears formed their little rivers to run down the storylines of my face that I learned the meaning of grace.
“For there is no distinction since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith.” (Romans 3:22-25)
So it is here that I stand and here I rest as this is the foundation of who I am as I am this that I believe as truth.
“Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. So we have known and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.” (John 4:816)
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Elton John, one of my favorite vocalist, sang these words in a song titled, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" "These cuts I have, Oh they need Love to help them heal." Though Burney Tupin based his observation upon worldly wisdom he was absolutely correct. I have found two things that will bring about the conclusion of a broken heart.
First and foremost is the Great Physician. As I said it is a pain that comes from within. Jesus heals a heart from within. He is the only one who can. All the world's doctors do not have the ability to accomplish what Jesus can do in the twinkle of an eye. He has paid the price for our burdens and now calls for us to accept his gift and lay our burdens upon Him. He knows what is needed to heal our wounds and He can lead us to the right people needed for support. It is an act of His free love that heals the pain of lost love. All we need to do is believe in Him and have faith in His Word that He will provide. As you so well read Love never fails. God Is Love and He will not let you fall and He will never let you be alone.
Second is the love of your friends. They who truly desire to be a part of your life and travel this journey with you together. There are many people who are friendly, many more who are not, and few who honestly love you. Do not throw your pearls to the swine but find a real friend and share with them the hurt. For when two or more are gathered in His name He will be there also. This is a promise and God cannot break that promise. He will be able to guide each of you together and bring about the release you need from you hurts. It is the giving of truth and the truth shall set you free.
Of course one must give the time needed for healing but the joy of this communication will be instant and you will once again find a happiness growing in your soul. I, as well as all, have experienced this hungering kind of pain where I was broken. I Have sought all the cures this world has to offer. Name any kind of seeking and I have been there. But the only cure is the Love that satisfies and that is the Love of God, the author, and finisher of our faith. He is the answer.
Thomas N Kirkpatrick