Short Stories

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I had a dream. This one make me to woke up. I decide to write it because of so many activities, clear plan of actions, and because of fresh memory about it. It was like a real actions and I can see myself in constant desire to identify my belonging and existing place of activity. So, I was walking in unknowing city and some person follow me. I can feel presence of the person, only near to me, but I can not see neither: the person or a body. I just walking on streets of city, and at the same time constantly feel pressure from an existing environment around of me. It was like some mixed voices with continuous dictation to me, what kind of rules has been accepted for residing in city, which style of a life has been used, what kind of clothes are assumes to be, how to walk, what to eat, and only by doing it I can accomplish acceptance is those authority, which tried to operate any movement of people and daily action members that residing in that city.
I remember, that those days were long, and I cannot see any transition in time. I have gone and have gone, people around of me moved to business of movement of day. I a point, that feeling that day am such long and I was long time in the street, I at last felt, that individual in streets only live a life as robots or machines without any idea about true freedom or freedom. I can see, that the management of walking is well organized, and reminds, that the life is predetermined its own routine. People try to hold their moving with speed of movement, and at the same time has looked round, if they are in a correct place, their persons do not show any reaction to needs of others, and main attractiob is in, follow the organized rules. It was clear to me, that they have no rights of involving in change of the daily routine, their centers of minds should follow style todays, and the life of those individuals has full dependecy on opinion concerning a recognition of strangers.
Their clothes are pure, with style, a life organize, wish to follow daily requirements and working to be with culture of a society without a choice of individual judgement of action. Busy schedules of a business life did not allow them to use chance to think independently and any to have idea to make the decision for own benefits. They even terrible feel if are asked their opinion because if they have told it then, can be not with culture of general public.

So, during long time I appeared in isolation, I have received impression, that my clothes remind dirty, I go not as others, and at last in this mood I started to call in question existing circumstances. Orders of this system create the certain style of a life and its condition in which so it is a lot of people only follow a daily life culture which is inspired with an invisible source. The authority of influence was so powerful, that the individual of walking at all does not try to move to the right or in left. Such decision forces them to frighten from performance of it or even reflections about it.
The policy in city for its population has been entered to accept this manner of a daily life as absolute need, not calling in question about those rules and if the reflection of the personnel has own idea then, their actions will be interpretive as aggression. In that method anyone diffrerent the opinion will be, saw just as the stranger, not perfection. The system has no way on a choice to need for detection differently. I remember, that the daily life has been so concentrated, that I had no any time to justify my actions. When my desire was, that to sights at things as visitors then I started to look actually a daily life, and allowing my opinion to see things in various aspect, and now I have understood, that the street of city is not so perfect, as it was before.

Chapter II. City life.
In general, I can say that only the main or central streets were so busy in high traffic of humans, with their focusing tendency of self acceptance, in this society before unknowing ideology, that is constantly generating its influence. These circumstances had a major influence on thinking because it was like to be a part of high motivated people. In meantime, I walk with those fast moving individuals, I try finding a moment to look in their faces for sign of understanding, and I felt forces that by influence through calling the ‘established’ culture have been push from behind. It was like ... just follow ... no reason for analyzes. By looking around, I can see that some persons did walked at opposed direction on those streets, some did try find exit or to make a short stop to looks around.
By observation I can see that influence of unknowing source of power was so powerful that walking individuals were so hungry of its supply and enjoyed a total control over them. Their goal was just to be accepted by others; they can not or don't wish to justify their daily life because of some one provided for them all what they need.
It has own means - the culture, thoughts, directions, and principles of their existence. When I walked around them I tried to find if their faces reflect any joy or understanding of their existence. I was chocked to see that those faces were without any kind of reflection to changes in around world. The style of life was controlled not by them but through unseen source that keep them under control, like their mind was in hypnoses. They try to be up to speed, up to demand of daily requirement, keep their needs by following implemented orders. It was like well organized order that keep all under control.
Some time I saw that single individual slower in walking by mowing from main walkways to the side streets. Some did take little breaks by moving by entering to nearest shops or stores. They use that opportunity to recharge themselves and then move back in the current of flowing masses. Some stopped and looked around with scare faces because they had feeling that their clothes not as clean as others. They act very fast to move from the traffic and try to purchase new clothes or clean themselves. Some groups of observers stand on side (corner) streets and looks at those people on main walkways neither with jealously or with smile/irony.
By observing those individuals I had impression that some of them; dreamed move-in at general flow of masses and others stand as happy being that they move-out. It was set-up, like a choice of opportunity and everything was depends on the stage of life. In meantime, I was in high traffic of movement and my unknowing companion with me. I can feel his presence, just behind me, but I did not turn around to see who is there. I felt some kind protection because I was not alone and some one is all the time with me.
If observe a style of the city streets and their organized system, I can conclude, that everything was in order and under control. After while, my attention was focused that I did no see changes in time. It was looks like that the city was under constant illumination, it mean, that I did not see transition to evening, or night. All time it was bright day. I got a feeling that it was with a reason.
That constant lighting and not natural brightness of sky above the cities building make me feel that a life of city inhabitants is totally programmed and under observation. My desire was in this harmony of polished city rules, clean streets, and organized life in the city find a place to have a rest or break time for short stop. But this desire or condition was prohibited because by established constant movement of masses at well thought-out directions no one suppose to have a moment for self analyzes.

Chapter III. City social structure.
The life for members in city's society must be providing a satisfaction in just following rules without any questioning of it. I observe that in majority these concepts were acceptable in general and satisfied by order. The inhabitant’s life did not demand from then to make any decision about outside environment and it was a goal of power that control this way of living. No way for judgment or justification but only focusing on acceptance by others and up to cultivate culture.
I got a feeling that this organized style is only one way to the road of happiness and joy of life. For short period of time my main focus was to concentrate all my energy and talent to be up to speed of flowing masses. When I became like all of them my identity has been disappear and from now I saw myself as a part of highly motivated beings. At was felt that life is no more important as an individual but became as necessity to be part of implemented lifestyle. It creates that unusual feeling, that just by following with others you can have a chance which is answer to just became like rest of them. It was condition that it is like if more human masses moving in same direction the more you became unseen/disappear and enjoy flowing by using a minimum energy in daily life. Everything in the city is reorganized by implementing adjustable orders and reinforcing only one demand of inhabitants is to follow & obey. When I was in those masses I tried to look around to identify myself with feeling of happiness because I became like others in the middle of city life. Again, by looking around, I can not see; any flying birds, trees, spectrums of light in sky, any movement of fresh air.

I saw myself in center of those moving masses, and when I join them; my joy was great and just felt that I can relax. I was in control of those flowing being with focusing on necessity to be like others. In this time, I can't feel presence of my companion; it was feeling like I lost my protection. I did achieve that I became a part of high trafficking people but in same time I did not feel my identity. Main focus from now was in concentration the collecting points that will guaranty of acceptance by society. It was culture in which is no matter who you are but how 'they' think about you.
This system of the regime of life did produce a tendency for disrespect own right by losing own values but to accept without self judgment the style of moment. My ‘protector’ just did not move in this attractive and stylish system.
A protector was standing on side and I was left on my own. From now, this propoganding a system of values became major influencing power that began dictate its rules.

-City Order.
The streets were so clean, organize, well done advertisement and this was a dream thought of well controlled system that shows its complete harmony. The pressure of environment was eliminated by introducing things at well needed ways. Just by following rules and orders the inhabitants of city’s dwelling may have satisfaction of life. On one side I felt in condition of existence of ‘just follow others’ and on other side it was like no time for justification. Life move in pre orchestrated rhythms and no waste a time for looks of reasons or desires. In this high energy culture with high demands of acceptance by observation I saw that from time to time some individual just move on side for short break. In meantime, I try seeing some sigh in sky that may show to me an evening symptoms but it was not here. This constant illumination of city has own source of energy without any changer in spectrums of life. This light without of sun did not provide any rechargeable feeling for happiness or joy but only show a necessity to have a right pat in daily life. By being under illumination I finally got a feeling that my clothes suppose being cleanup if I wish to be like others. It was not feeling on own but reaction which has been implementing by moving near masses. If they see some one not like them their reaction momentarily has responded to isolate themselves for own protection. No one was has right to make a decision but only to accept ‘established’ culture. It was a state of mind with mental slave behavior.
I began change focus and then I saw my ‘protector’. Its shadow was a visible near to the side store and I just jump inside the store. When I move in the store I just relax and felt more secure. This store has a few visitors and they had been standing in line for purchasing new clothes, some just to have short break, some just asked trying some how make themselves cleaner. I can see that some individuals move back on the street ad I can hear a noise of moving masses.

Chapter IV.
As for me I felt that this store has more welcome atmosphere, I again can feel presence of my ‘protector’, and just recover a feeling that my soul, body, and mind had been reunited. It was like became myself without any influence from outside.

This feeling of peace and stability just provide a blessing to my mind. Finally, in this moment, I had a chance in focusing on my needs without any influence. The entry door was as barrier, by providing some kind of separation/isolation from heavy pressure that was outside on the streets. By sorting and prioritizing of matters in life I can feel that desires style of life and a dreamed values did not were founded by following ‘implemented’ orders on habitants of the city.
But to be inside in this store, I enjoy short period of time of peace in mind, and realize that by been inside of the store the necessity of life will not provide necessary comfort. I had just recovery from illusion of ‘real’ life.
I began questioning myself in which way I shall move. In memory of daily life on those highly motivated masses I just decide if I can see that street from roof of the building. I also, had an interest to see a sky from roof because it has so unique color or spectrum of light. I wanted to see if outside of street were I had dictated style of life I can found any neighbors with trees, grass, and birds.
By looking around I was surprise to found that in the end of store room was visible a metal door. An owner of store did not show any visual reaction on my attempt move in direction near ‘special’ door. I though that an owner know a secret of this door. Its reaction was neutral. I can feel as an owner watched me with some kind of sympathy by I decide to take a chance, and specially that I was with my ‘protector’.
This unseen power has supportive mode that provides source of energy that has own unique dependence.
By entering inside I just was surprise to see that so many people have been moving behind the wall. I saw a stair to upper floor levels. It was not much of light, some kind darkness and difficulties to find a right direction. It was a state of uncertainly, were people moved at different directions. It was feeling like to be in tunnel with exits and enters on each floor level were individuals secretly try to find their own way for freedom.

Chapter V. Stairway.
In darkness, I saw contours of moving bodies and hear they dissatisfaction on their attempts. Some individuals or groups were so down, that they cry in hysterical isolation by standing without knowing what to do. I saw how a few enter this stairs and with full enthusiasm move up with hope to see answer for their desire or dream. A few individuals went down on stairs and tried not talk to any one. It was like confusing movement of masses.
I walk slowly up to upper floor with a goal to have an opportunity to see a city plan from higher point. I remember those busy streets with humans in their busy style life. I just want using a chance to make my decision on my own. But before to it I need to know if better neighbors existing in the city. If by chance, maybe at least we see that a place around a city perimeter has been with full life in forest life, grass areas, flying birds and sun shine in sky. Just became men of freedom with full potential to enjoy real life on free will. It was a risky way, a desire in having a missing joy that was stolen by ‘implemented ‘order.
In this attempt, I was not along. I saw as individuals move around me in attempt to find and identify a real way's of life. As it was my, so as others, their plans were to reach a roof and then see if any perspective is still exist. This stairway was
a little hope.
I was improves to have a realization of my desire. In few steps I finally may have an opportunity to see city from roof of the building. I want see flying birds, sun, clouds, area covered by grasses, any parks, maybe river or small like, just identify my road to have a place with real earthly life. This city culture and daily demands did not satisfy any need but only make a feeling of necessity to follow routine and became like others. It was like with each step to be nearest to the door of revelation. A desire to revile a truth about system in the unknowing city. My attention was pointed in individuals that were covered with dust on their faces and clothes. They walk down in this small stairway and did not show any joy on their faces. It was like quite march back in what they though in one day they will live behind. No signals that answer was found but just reaction to witness and realization of truth. I move up with hope that soon I will see what is around. When I was near the last steps to attics of the building I stand on small floor area and focusing on little door to roof at ceiling. It was feel like this location is a bunker with little door.
Those who just come to attics have a spark eyes with full hope and those who move down was like a world come to end. I did not react to those circumstances because I knew that my protector is next to me and it was important. Some people look at their watches and talk about time frame and schedule. I did not understand their concerns and move in direction to the roof door. I want to see a sky, breath a fresh air, and enjoy open opportunity to have freedom and liberty.
My joy was unspeakable because of moment in life that is just at few steps. I will have my own plan and have a true way for my life.

Chapter VI. Roof
My next step was almost archive. I wait as people clear pat to the door and rise up a few steps of metal ladder. I have imagination that in few seconds I will see a town from roof of the structure. I had been heard as people started talking about time limitation. They looks in their watches a mentioned that time is to move back because a control/security police will arrive to check this place. People began move down in nearest building room, I want to believe that it was room, because I newer was behind those doors. I was in position of make decision and decide to take my chance and move up on roof. By passing a ceiling door I did not saw any sky or heaven.

It was like small metal bunker without windows but only with a door. I again, saw as people were covered with sand on their clothes and faces were hysterically moving inside a room. Their voices and words were critical. I was heard as the say: ‘Where we are’, ‘I can not believe’, ‘it is unbelievable’, ‘what I will do’, etc. I was standing next to the door and sound like waiting for my turn to move out. Just before me some people move out and in few second they were back. Their faces show a total shock and I heard hysterical voices of disbelieve.

Chapter VII. Escape
I decide to move out. I open door and jump outside. I was choked. I did not saw a sky. I look around and everywhere was red looking sand. It was looks like desert. My hope was broken by facing new reality. I can not believe. The city was underground. I and few individuals were in undecided stage of mind. It was sandy area with unusual stormy condition. People tried to move from bunker but can not do it because of limited visually. I can see only in distance of 15-20 foot and behind of it was a complete blindest. I just did not know what to do. I remembered that as soon as I jump from bunker, my protector was not more with me.
I again, was on my own. I was standing like rock. In this moment I din now in which way I suppose to go. I heard as siren was activated and security luminary’s fixture began blinking on top of the bunker. When I looks around it was noting to follow. No direction, no desire, broken dream, just unknowing place. Where is place to go? Some people jump back inside of the bunker, some stand next to without any reaction; some calling that sand storm is coming. I can not believe that I was standing above a city. Those habitants in the city were not aware that their life is under ground and controlled by manpower. In a few seconds I saw how security soldiers jumped out of bunker and took those who were near inside of the bunker. Those who stand near did not provide any resistance. They were in state of mind when own protection has no meaning. Their dreams are not realized and the truth makes them have apathy to any action. So, a small group try move further but sand storm did not let them go. They turn back in direction to bunker and took inside by security personnel. I was not aware of this reality, not prepared for hard truth of life, but I decide no way to return. I saw as those soldiers shows fingers in me and move in my direction.
I decide just escape from them and began move inside of unknowing stormy sandy walls. I can not see where I go but I heard as voices were behind me. I decide not turning back but moving further and further from metal bunker, which was as symbol of last door from the prison. I move, on every step that was separate me from past existence I received a new feeling of freedom in return did my decision on my own, I realize a risk of unknowing, but rechargeable energy of self determination just make me bold and stronger. I heard that those who follow me say that I will die if I will stay here. Again, my decision was at any way not to turn back.
This was very critical way to walk. My feet very heavy because of sand and wind that blow so powerful. Also, I can not see anything as result of stormy weather. I was left alone. I did not see any future and was not in desire to go back. The bunker those who follow me jumped inside of the bunker and door was locked. I decide to move as far as possible with hope to see any possibilities for survival. This stormy air mixed with a sand just push me back. I concentrate my focus on desire to have move further from my place of escaping.
I do not know how long I was walking and was not in position of complaining. I was moving by virtue of life to have an opportunity of freedom of choice. It was my choice. I understood that it was very risky decision but my motive was to see a difference. I had a hope, moving by faith, and reinforcing by dream to enjoy a real freedom. If even I decide to go back in these circumstances my chances were limited. I was left alone in the middle of unknowing desert.
After while of my journey I was standing of edge of hill. When I try to look down I saw nothing. Just movement of red sand in air with spiraling around. I decide to jump down.

Chapter VIII. Unknowing factory
I wake up. I don't remember was happen to me. How long I was lying down. I just have wished to check my body for functions. I move my left hand, then right, then feet. I move my head and was happy. I am alive and body functioned as regular. It takes my attention that now I saw a cloudy heaven and foggy areas very close to the ground. Are no more storm-sandy air and visual wise it was much better. From this moment I can see my next step and I decide to move in direction of foggy areas. When I come near those areas I began to hear some noises. It was not human voices but very heavy mechanical noise. I still was not able to see on what going on. I was walk in preparing with precaution to any uncertainty.
I was very interested to see what is happen in this fog. Again, I was in the middle of the road, behind me was my past journey from escaping underground city and in front of me unknowing source of noises with new discovery. I was in stage of mind that has own desire to have on open a door for my future. In walking toward foggy place I discover a break wall. It was surprise. In the middle of nowhere I stand before a wall of structure. Now I heard that only this wall separate me from source of noises. They were more powerful and mixed with humans voices. I began to looks around for any sign to entry in. I make a few steps back and looks up for openings. It was solid wall. I move few steps right then left and was same result. Then my attention was pointed that small portion of fume was blowing on right side of the wall. I decide to check it out.

In this area which all of those unusual things I was under constant desire to move further. If analyzing existing condition I can identify at least one available option I will have my focus on it. But, I don’t have any options. It was my judgment. I just try to survive and move on over existing circumstances. As for me I can not see any sighs for victory in achievement my goal to have a peace in mind by being sovereign in decision making for enjoy a liberty. Again, those wall, noises, and voices did not characterize any place that has environment in which you may be happy. It was a questionable place. Those humans’ voices in place of nowhere provide d to me some source of optimism because I can see that life is behind a bunker that separated a road to underground city. It was like recovery from limitation that was required in city society with its behavior. In meantime, when walking to that fume flowing, I became more familiar to existing structure. In observing the structure’s walls I got feeling that I am around abandoned building. I reach a damaged portion of the wall and then look inside. It was like industrial complex. I saw few individuals and they just move some boxes. They were wearing uniforms. Those workers were on opposed side of the wall. They did not see me but I can hear their voices.

Chapter IX. Hope

It was a discovery for me. I was around unknowing building structure, outside the underground city, breath a fresh air, and looking at clouds. The fume that was coming from the factory did partially cover the sky. But it was possible for a few second to see a blue sky. It was so high just after those grey clouds. I had a feeling that at least a half of my dream is accomplished.


Will be continuing....

Copyright©2004BASUL

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