Humor

Back in the Saddle Again…and Again

by James Snyder 
01/06/18
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This is not my first rodeo when it comes to New Years. I have ridden this Bronco so many times I cannot remember how many. Well, I can remember, but I am not going to let that slip. Something to do with a New Year’s Resolution.

Back in the days of youth, I used to stay up to watch the New Year’s Eve ball drop. Now, I see so many people drop the ball during the year that I don’t want to see another one on New Year’s Eve. I’ve seen enough of that.

At my stage in life, health is more important than watching something I have seen a thousand times before.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage agrees with me on this issue. It is one of the few issues that we agree on so why should I mess with it.

One thing about starting over again is trying not to make the same mistakes you made last year. It is good to sit down and think about all the mistakes you have made last year and mine came to one.

When I got to that issue, I proudly shared it with my spouse. I was so excited that I could only think of one mistake I made last year and I really wanted to share it with her.

“What do you mean,” she said rather suspiciously, “you only made one mistake last year?”

With a great deal of excitement, I nodded enthusiastically and said, “Yes, I only made one mistake last year and my resolution is not to make the same mistake this year.”

“What was that mistake?”

“My biggest mistake last year was that I forgot to give you a birthday card.”

I thought I was in good territory here. I thought I was playing into her heart and she would be happy for this resolution.

“A birthday card?”

“Yes,” I said as seriously as possible. “I don’t remember getting you a birthday card this past year and I want to make it up to you in the coming year.” What could be better than that kind of solution for a year of mistakes?

She stared at me with sort of a twinkle in her eye, which at the time confused me. I know what a sarcastic stare is. I know what an anger stare is. I know what an enthusiastic stare is. I also know what a confused stare is. But a twinkle in her eye!

My biggest mistake for the New Year may be not knowing what this twinkle in her eye is all about. Is she agreeing with me? Or, am I in more trouble than I can really comprehend?

There was a moment of awkward silence. Actually, that moment stretched to several moments of silence, which I am not accustomed to. When my wife is silent, something is developing that I am not going to be prepared for.

When her silence had exhausted itself, she simply said, “So, you only made one mistake last year?”

I'm worried now. I thought I was trying to get the New Year started off in a very positive direction. Now I have no idea what I’m going to do.

Then she began with a series of, “Remember the time when…?”

If what she said was true, I came quite close last year to making one mistake for every day. Oh boy! If she is correct, no two mistakes were the same. I am not sure if anybody can make that many mistakes in a given year. Either, I am crazy or I am a genius in the area of making mistakes.

No way could I contest any of these mistakes for the simple reason my memory is not on my side. I cannot say I did not make those mistakes because I do not remember. She remembers me doing them so it must be true. Right?

When she finished her evaluation of my past year, I sighed a very deep sigh and asked, “What do you think my New Year’s resolutions ought to be for the New Year?”

Again came that twinkle in her eye. I’m not used to that twinkle yet. “Well,” she said rather seriously, “if you are serious about your New Year’s resolution maybe you should make one resolution for the New Year that you will not make the same mistakes this year.”

She paused a little bit, stared at me and then continued, “This New Year, why don’t you concentrate on making different mistakes.” When she said that the twinkle in her eye exploded into hilarious laughter. I was not sure if I should laugh or not.

When my wife is right, she is right. Therefore, my New Year’s resolution for this New Year is to concentrate on making different mistakes than last year. With this resolution comes the full support of my wife. The two of us together can concentrate on making new mistakes.

This has made my New Year so very exciting. Yes, I made mistakes last year, but forget all about that.

I was reminded of what the apostle Paul said, “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before”  (Philippians 3:13).

Let’s concentrate on the year at hand and mistakes that can be made this year that were never thought of last year.