Leadership

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ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

When we ask questions, we assume the role of a leader, by understanding how others think.  When we ask thought-provoking questions, it shows that we have taken the time to find how to communicate effectively. Knowing the right questions to ask requires patience and careful listening to what others are saying and thinking. Lately, I have been listening to what people are saying and it has helped me to formulate questions that I would like to ask. Asking the proper questions enables me to tailor the Gospel message to meet their individual need. For instance, we must consider some important principles.

 

 

When to share?

 

I am a great believer in the fact that we must earn the right to share. That usually involves the right time. Some have success in the first contact with a person. That means the situation allows them to ask the right question immediately. However, that is more the exception than the rule. Some questions require time and the building up of friendships. There are situations that need immediate attention and for these we must be prepared. As we progress, we will deal with questions that will equip us for opportunities that we may encounter. If you know how to ask the question without causing offense then you are on your way to sharing effectively with others. When to share requires sensitivity to the person’s openness. Some want to talk about their problems and others are more secretive so caution is necessary to discern when the opportunity exists. As an illustration: You would not go up to a person who has recently lost a loved one and begin a conversation about where he would spend eternity, unless of course, he asked first. An important question such as that spoken to an unprepared heart may harden him toward any other opportunity. Like a garden, the ground may need to be properly prepared for the seed to germinate. Someone has calculated that the average person has heard the Gospel at least seven times before conversion takes place. We never know what place our presentation may be in that life. Knowing when to speak or not to speak requires prayer and sometimes patience.

 

 

What to share?                         

 

Not everyone is equipped to verbalize the message without some training. Sometimes our work schedule limits the time that we must share (if that is where your opportunities lie). The best time is during lunch breaks or after work. Having material available to pass on is the best way. I write materials for others who have little background or courage, to pass on to others. We are trying to share our faith without fear or being offensive. Here is a way to do so.

 

“Jim, I have a booklet I have just recently read and found interesting. Would you like to read it and give me your thoughts on this?”

 

You also can approach it this way;

 

“Jim, you know the subject about understanding the truth that we talked about? I just came across this article that expresses this subject briefly and practically. Would you like a copy?”

 

As we continue in this course hopefully you will develop questions on your own to ask.

 

 

How to Share?

 

There is something about being a friend. You can usually talk to your friends about anything. It is desirable to have friends who are not Christians and hopefully you will have many. Those are the ones who compose your ministry. As a friend, it is important that they know that in many ways you are like them. In one important way, you are not. They must see the distinction in your lifestyle that reflects Christ: Love, patience, kindness, and all the fruit of the Spirit. These must project from your life. I must be willing to admit wrong and apologize for offending if that is the case. Avoid arguing over things that get heated and destroy your testimony. When the scripture admonishes us to walk circumspectly, it is like a cat walking carefully over broken glass. Avoid comments that cause offense. Remember that winning the argument may lose the soul. We don’t want to do that. We must become a good listener to gain wisdom and understanding. By doing this we will be able to ask the question that they want us to answer. How to share involves understanding, patience and undivided interest in them. We must avoid waiting for them to finish so we can speak and share. (We often do that especially when there is a pressure of time.)

 

 

What to share?

 

This topic is the one to which we will give the most attention. Recently I went on line to all my groups and asked them two questions.

“How do you share the good News with others? If you do not, why?” I needed to know if there was something I needed to improve on and if they could help me to find some answers. The answers I received were some of the ones people usually give from the books they have read or the courses that they studied in church. I wanted to hear some testimonies by those who were sharing with results. Most of the answers were a disappointment. One husband and wife team, like Priscilla and Aquila, with Paul the Apostle, put me in contact with an evangelist named William Fay who answered my questions head-on.  I will be sharing some of his ideas as we progress. I would like to present some of his ideas he presented in his book “sharing Jesus without fear.” *

 

 

* sharing Jesus without fear.” By William Fay (Used by permission)

 

In his book, he presents five questions to ask people to get them into a conversation about spiritual matters. They are easy to ask and do not pose a threat to anyone. Before we find out what those questions are, consider the answer to the second part of the question I asked. Why Christians do not share their faith.

 

 

1. Fear of rejection?

 

This is a very legitimate fear and one that most Christians face. The easiest way to overcome this fear is by forming relationships with others that are positive where you can talk freely about anything. Even in these relationships, there is often a reluctance to get to the point. Often the person who rejects the message is not rejecting you. Sometimes clearer information to help them understand is necessary. Difficulties are normal and we should use these as a motivation for prayer. Expect rejection as a possibility, but also realize that the fear of rejection can be Satan’s way of getting you to do nothing. Faith is a necessary step to help us overcome the fear. I must reason, I’m going to risk my reputation and ask the question and trust God for the results. A simplified point to remember is: Keep praying, keep learning, keep trying and keep loving, even despite supposed rejection.

 

 

 

2. I don’t know how

 

This is another common objection but can be remedied by proper training. Most Christians who have been one for ten years or more are not lacking in knowledge, rather, they probably have more information than is required, and they do not have a system to properly present it. Too much information can be a hindrance to getting things done. It is true that the more sophisticated our knowledge is, the more difficult it is to keep things simple. The presentation of the Gospel requires a simple approach to explain to those who lack understanding. On the other side of the coin, we often get too locked up into systems that we become uncomfortable using them. We appear to be too mechanical. Sometimes we must start that way but we must grow beyond that to a more practical approach. The best way to share is to develop an approach that you are comfortable with. That will be addressed as we progress. This speaks well of the need for proper training.

 

 

3. Afraid of offending

           

This fear can be overcome by realizing the importance of being sensitive and recognizing developing hostility to what we are saying. I was in a Dry’s. office one day, and talked to a woman about a subject in which we differed. I sensed a hostility developing. Changing the subject to the scriptures and asking questions caused the conversation to be more amiable. The nurse called me and I was unable to continue our conversation. If we sense hostility sometimes we need to examine our approach. I tend to become dogmatic in what I believe and I need to stop and listen to the other person. During sharing, how we say things is more important than what we must say. They may be rejecting you and your method and sometimes a gentler tone will enable us to continue the conversation. If we offend, that can be a great opportunity to learn something new and that’s not bad. Failure without a doubt is one of the life’s greatest teachers. Sometimes, when we touch on another’s sin or failure, the hostility begins and the conversation ends. People like to talk about their successes and achievements and not about the sin that keeps them from salvation.

 

 

Recently I talked to a man at work and asked if he was married? He replied that he wasn’t, but somehow in the conversation he mentioned that he had fathered a child. I asked him a very pointed question that got him angry. Of course, this probably closed any other opportunity to share the Gospel with him. Jesus did the same thing with the woman at the well in John chapter four. He placed His finger on her sin. She tried to sidetrack Him with a discussion about religion but He brought the subject back to the empty life she was living without God. It awakened the woman’s conscience and that is what our questions ought to do. Don’t be surprised if people get offended. I later apologized to the man for asking too many questions. It was his first day at work and he sat down with me while I was having lunch. I asked him many questions just to be friendly but he was not ready for that. Recently this man passed away, but over the course of a year I discovered his interest in spiritual truth. Maybe my first encounter with him had some effect. (Only God knows.) We should not stop trying because someone was offended. Those who are locked up in false ideas do not wish to be challenged or to change. “Casting down imaginations and every false thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God” (II Corinthians 10:5) is part of the Christian responsibility when confronting a world in Sin.

 

 

. Fear of failure.

 

Perhaps this is the fear that keeps us from doing anything. There is a certain amount of faith that requires us to take some risks. First, there is the faith that this is what God wants you to do; Second, there is the faith that God has promised success for our being faithful; Third, there is the faith that God will go before and remove the obstacles; Fourth, there is the faith that leaves the results to God.

 

 

Failure and fear of failure come when we trust in our own resources to do God’s work. No matter how ill-equipped we may think that we are, God can take the most meager effort and turn it into a blessing. Failure is one of the great teachers of life. Think of the many opportunities that will be missed and the souls that will be unreached, if we are afraid of failure. Everyone is afraid of failure that it takes that first step in trusting God and leaving the outcome to Him to overcome our fears. Being properly prepared will also overcome fear and produce confidence.

 

 

Fear of failure has dogged my steps most of my life, but it was that same fear that drove me to overcome and when I became a Christian that fear became a motivation to trust God to bring success. Fear of failure is a real fear that most of us have, but it need not keep us from trusting God and seeing Him do wonders in our life.

 

 

5. Fear of persecution

 

The Apostle Paul told Timothy that “all who live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution”. In America, fear of persecution is not something we are concerned about. These days there seems to be a growing persecution of Christians in America—not physical torture, but an increase in mocking and attempting to discredit Christians. Religion is acceptable here whether it is true or false. The problem comes when we declare the truth that forces people to face the difficulty of having to change. Christianity confronts falsehood and causes those who do not wish to change to become uncomfortable. The normal reaction to those who speak the truth is to discredit them or remove them. That is what causes persecution- confronting people with truth

 

 

The church at Smyrna in the book of Revelation was a biblical example of a church that suffered intense persecution for her faithfulness to Christ. The church in the Sudan, in Africa, is a good example of modern day Martyrs who are being faithful. One Christian man who escaped that persecution told us that he and his family survived by eating grass. As we look toward the future, the coming of Christ will be preceded by persecution. The way that we prepare for that terrible time is by being faithful today and making it the priority of our lives. While in times of peace, we need to be faithfully proclaiming the message while freedom and opportunity exist. Persecution will not stop the Gospel from being proclaimed, but it will hinder its progress. People will try to find flaws in our lives and keep us from speaking out. They will look for flaws to have an excuse to reject Christ. When confronted with the truth, people will try to justify their own insecurity by pointing out your imperfections. Hypocritical people will always find ways to justify their unwillingness to change. Persecution is the extreme reaction of those who cannot tolerate hearing the truth.

 

 

Truth is a powerful tool that God uses to bring conviction and the one who speaks the truth is the one who is most likely to be attacked. If you can’t handle the truth, get rid of the source is the extreme action. Paul told Timothy, “Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” (II Timothy 3:12) Peter also tells us “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, since ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that when His glory is revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (I Peter 4:12,13). Do not fear persecution. God is on the side of truth. The persecution we must fear is the persecution that unfaithfulness causes, (Not recognizing failure in ourselves and dealing with it). The rest of I Peter goes on to say concerning this matter, “If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of Christ resteth upon you: On their part, He is evil spoken of, but on your part, He is glorified. But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. Yet if any man suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf”. In these verses, we have the scriptural admonition and warning as well.

 

 

Having considered why Christians do not share their faith, let’s consider the questions that are important to ask. There are five points we should consider when asking the questions.

 

 

The kind of questions we should ask.

 

Now we come to the exciting and creative part of our subject. Opportunities come unexpectedly, so that is why we need to be properly prepared. We must ask the right question and be able to help others find the answers to them. First I would like to share six questions to ask others that do not cause offense. These are presented by Bill Fay from his course, Sharing Jesus without Fear. Sometimes you only need to ask one or two to get a response. Other times you may be able to ask all of them.

 

Question #1

Do you have any spiritual interests?

 

You may create other ones like this like, “Do you attend church anywhere?” Sometimes during the conversation, you may discover a question that may stimulate their interest or one that they are comfortable with. Be attentive and be creative. I asked a man recently if he attended church somewhere. I guess he thought that the question was too personal and asked why I wanted to know. I said that if he said he was a Buddhist, I would ask how Buddhist’s get saved. He proceeded to tell me how all people get saved and it revealed that he did not understand the Gospel. I asked him some other questions which I will share later. I have several Islamic friends I want to ask questions to. One of them is “What is Paradise like and how well does one have to be to get there? These people are more than willing to share their beliefs. I have some Buddhist friends who have shared some tapes with me on their religion. All the strange religions have one thing in common: They require good works to receive salvation. We have good news that will lead them into the light and out of bondage. Asking questions puts us into a leadership role and opens doors to create understanding.

Bill gives the illustration of flying on a plane and asking a lady where she went to church. She was from Ethiopia and said that she was a Coptic Christian. He then asked, how does a Coptic Christian get saved? Her answer? “I wish I knew.”  The airplane was delayed and Bill had the opportunity to lead her to Christ. Think of questions that do not produce controversy and then listen to their answer.

 

 

Question # 2

What is your understanding of who Jesus Christ is?

 

This question is very revealing about how people understand who Jesus is. Is He just a historical figure or someone they have been taught about in church? Their answer reveals whether they know about Him in a personal way or if their belief is merely intellectual. Sometimes I ask people about what God is like. Often, they see Him as less than a God of love and because of negative experiences tend to see God as less than who He really is. Some claim that Christ was a prophet but cannot distinguish him from any others who claimed to be. At this point do not try to give them answers. Just ask and listen. The next questions will bring everything into focus.

 

 

Question # 3

Do you believe in Heaven or Hell?

 

One lady said, “absolutely not”. The next question deals with that. Some people have a basic belief in one or the other or maybe both. Now we are finding out if they have convictions about the hereafter.

 

 

Question #4

Suppose you were to fall over and die in the next few minutes, where would you go?

 

Now we are getting to the heart of the matter. The lady who answered, “absolutely not” answered that she would probably go to Heaven. Most people would answer that question because they think that going to heaven is based upon their behavior. You can ask any person who is religious and they would answer the question the same way. Most people base their answer on a faulty idea of who God is and why He created us. The next question reveals what they are trusting in for salvation.

 

 

 

 

Question # 5

If God were to ask you why He should let you come in, what would you say?

 

This question reveals, without question, where we should go from here. Some think that because He is a good guy and was fair they would get there because of that. Then others think “I am not bad enough to go to hell, so I must be going to heaven.” These answers reveal the thinking of people who lack understanding and proper information to act upon. Again, you merely listen to their answer without argument and proceed to the next questions.

 

 

Question #6

If what you believe was not true, would you like to know?

 

Again, just listen to their answer and let them open the door. A yes answer means that you have the liberty to pursue sharing the gospel. A no response requires that you be silent. More often they will ask, “Well aren’t you going to say something? If they don’t wish to know there is no use going on. Perhaps at another time, they might express interest. The point in all of this is to help you to be confident in sharing the Gospel with others. The excitement begins when you start to share these principles in your everyday contacts with people

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