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Queen Jezebel's Letter To Hillary Clinton
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Dear Mrs. Clinton,
I know we never met, but I used to rule Israel years before Jesus was born. My name is Jezebel, and I'm writing to you from Hell. I hate it down here, and I dread the day when I am thrown into the lake of fire, but I know I brought this on myself by spending my whole life being hungry for power and then never repenting. I'm worried about you, because I see you repeating mistakes I made, and I don't want what happened to me to happen to you.
I still remember the day I married King Ahab like it was yesterday. He married me, because he wanted to forge a political alliance with my country. I was a Phoenician princess. You and I have something in common right there. You were a lawyer, First Lady (both as a governor's wife and then as a president's wife), Senator, and Secretary of State. I was a princess, queen, and queen mother, so we both held power for most of our lives. We both thought we'd have power all of our lives. You thought you'd be the first female president of the United States, and I thought I'd die a royal. We were both wrong. Jehu overthrew me, and you lost to Barack Obama in 2008 and then to Donald Trump in 2016. Power doesn't last forever. I wish I'd known that while I was alive, or I wouldn't be where I am now. You see, I never came to worship the one true God while I was alive. I had opportunity after opportunity to humble myself and repent, especially after God's prophet Elijah and Baal's prophets had that contest and God beat Baal, but I hardened my heart to the very end. Instead of repenting and admitting I was wrong, in essence, I blamed Elijah for why my attempt to spread Baal worship to all Israel failed, and I planned to kill him the very next day, but he escaped from me.
I, like you, had the attitude that I should have anything that I wanted, and if anyone got in my way, I'd make them pay. I manipulated the law to get an innocent man killed so Ahab could have his vineyard, because he wouldn't give it to Ahab, and I believed the king and queen could have anything they wanted. I produced two fake witnesses to lie and say Naboth had cursed both God and the king so that he would be stoned to death. You see, I knew that cursing God and the king were offenses punishable by death and that it took just two witnesses to produce a conviction. Manipulating the law, lying, murdering...does that sound familiar to you, Mrs. Clinton?
Please receive Jesus before you die, Mrs. Clinton. Let go of your thirst for power and surrender to Jesus, the one true God. Don't end up like me. You're lucky that the worst that happened to you was that you lost an election. Me? I was tossed out of my palace window, trampled by horses, and made into a doggie treat. You have hope. Choose Jesus!
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