Christian Living

GRACIOUS SPEECH

by Morris Inch
01/06/17
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GRACIOUS SPEECH

　

"Words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious" (Eccles. 10:12). That is, they are courteous or considerate. Hence, not thoughtless, argumentative, or demeaning.

Does this imply that we should never take issue with what another person says? No, since this reflects a lack of concern for their best interests. Sometimes expressed as hard love. As characterized by C. S. Lewis, because God loves us he strives to make us lovable.

However, it does imply that we take issue in a respectful fashion. For instance, one might observe: "I suppose it depends in large measure on one’s presuppositions. As for me, it seems preferable to consider the matter in the following way." This allows for the possibility that there may be some merit to a contrasting point of view. Moreover, it invites further considerate discussion.

Or one might also request that the person expand on some aspect of his line of thinking. After which, to explore it further to discover what might be held in common. Then to take this as an agreeable point of departure for discussing more controversial features.

This recalls a person who seemed to be anti-social. Until a concerned person decided to befriend her. This was difficult initially, but became easier with the passing of time. Eventually, others recognized a change for the better in the previously unacceptable person. Once she was accepted, she became increasingly receptive of others.

Conversely, there was a young man who seemed to feel obligated to take issue with whatever anyone else said. When persons agreed with him, he would reverse his opinion. This seemed humorous to those manipulating him. However, it did not appear to address the problem. If he thought this was a way of asserting his integrity, there are much more acceptable ways of doing so. Dialogue provides a prime example of what is involved. The term implies multiple points of view. For instance, a Christian colleague and I were engaged in discussion with four persons of the Muslim faith: consisting of a retired professor, instructor, prominent cleric, and business man. The retired professor was first to speak. "Now concerning the Trinity," he allowed. I had supposed that this might be a subject for consideration, but was not primed for his further comment: "I do not think this should concern us, for while I can’t accept the Christian dogma, the notion of complexity in the God-head is acceptable."

Consequently, he supposed we should get on with something more critical. "You Christians say if someone strikes you on one cheek, you should turn the other to him, while we Muslims insist that if someone strikes you, you should strike him back!" Incidently, the blow was probably with the back of the hand, as a form of inflicting shame.

This led to an extended discussion of several topics. While in keeping with the notion that all truth is God’s truth. Whereas not all that is said to be true is in fact true.

On another occasion, we were holding a monthly dialogue between Christians and Jews in Chicago. The talented author Joe Bailey was telling us of the death of his son, and the rabbis present were deeply moved. At the close of the meeting, they gathered around him—weeping and consoling him. Meanwhile, I was impressed by his sharing and their gracious response.

How are we to cultivate gracious speech? (1) Think before we speak. This will result in our refraining to say some things that come to mind. It may also bring to mind something more appropriate. It likewise signals that we are open to consider what is said in response.

(2) Pray that God will enable us to minister in the process. As those who have experienced his grace, and commend it to others. While of the conviction that more is accomplished by prayer than we realize.

(3) Be sensitive to the response of others. Sometimes via spoken word, and other times by way of body language. This will help determine what next to say.

(4) Finally, as prompted by the Holy Spirit. This is a practice that must be cultivated. Thus to distinguish the prompting of the Spirit from other influences that seek to lead us astray. While with the realization that this constitutes a short list of considerations.