Christian Living

Forgiveness is Key

by Gary Farrell
05/20/16
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Forgiveness is the key

I spent a couple hours the other night meditating on the ‘Lords Prayer”.  Thinking about each and every word.  Right smack in the middle of it is, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  That word ‘as’ gave me pause for concern.  The Lord will forgive me only as I forgive others? Wow! “It’s hard enough to forgive my HOA Nazis, a grouchy spouse, or a rebellious son or daughter let alone ISIS and/or other terrorist organizations.  It seems the position of modern society that forgiveness should only be proffered to a person if they have earned it.  That seems to be what I was taught growing up anyway.  In general people seem far more interested in justice than forgiveness.  As a younger man you would more likely find me standing there shaking my fist shouting, “Justice, justice, give me justice.”  Today I’m a Christian (of advanced age at that), and my cry is more like, “Mercy, show me mercy.”  When I read about the unforgiving servant in Mathew 18:21-35 it doesn’t appear that forgiving is optional, nor do Jesus’ words in Mathew 6:15, “If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive yours.”  It is one thing to get caught up in not forgiving the boss, the kids when they forget my birthday, or the Mariners, but an entirely different thing when God is brought into the equation.

I don’t believe that I can take the New Testament cafeteria style.   “Give me a little of this, and a little of that, but none of that please.”  However, it appears for human beings forgiveness is not innate.   Maybe I’m wrong about that, and maybe it’s just me, but when I ask my secular friends (yes, I have secular friends) what they know about Jesus they invariable give me one of two answers.  Either, “Turn the other cheek” (Mathew 5:39), or “Love your enemy” (Mathew 5:44).  Why would they be so impressed with these verses if they did not reflect an unnatural act?  Why would God demand of me that I do this peculiar thing, forgive, when it defies my every primal instinct of the flesh?  It’s because that is the only way I can break the world’s cycle of merciless impudence and arrogance that rules my flesh.   In Mathew 5: 45 Jesus gives this reason to forgive: “…. that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the good and evil, and sends his rain on the righteous and unrighteous.”  When I feel that love of family and friends is sufficient, I am reminded by Jesus in Mathew 5: 47, “…. Even the pagans do that.”  From a pragmatic point of view it even makes sense to forgive.  From experience I know that unless I forgive I will not feel forgiven.  As my friend Dave said the other night, “Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other guy to die.”

Before I became a Christian I was of the opinion that if I did more good than bad, if I was ethical and moral the scales of justice would land on my side, and I would be counted as a good man.  If there was a Heaven I could earn admittance that way.   I was aware of the law, and morality.  I don’t want to give you the impression that I was raised by wolves.  It was a whole lot easier being secular than being Christian.  The world whispers in my ear, “Do what comes naturally,” and forgiving has never really felt natural.  Resentment required no effort on my part while forgiving required me to do some work.   Sin was not an issue and I did feel any guilt over it, my intentions were good right?

My earthly philosophy was, “Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice and I’m going to take it right serious.”  Turning the other cheek was not in my play book.  When I became a Christian I learned there were a lot of things that were and weren’t in my play book that God was not really fond of.  The failure to forgive, and living with bitter resentment were among them.  So I had to get to work on it.  I have to repent, to change my mind.  To change the way I perceive them.  You know who “Them” are right?  We all have some of “Them” in our lives.

This forgiveness thing is rarely a “one and done” deal for me.  I may forgive a person this morning, but it is highly likely that I may end up having to forgive them tomorrow morning as well.  I don’t know about others, but I often find I must return to God again and again with my resentments.  I figure if Corrie ten Boom can forgive the Nazi guard that had kept her imprisoned and was responsible for the death of her sister, and more recently, if Pastor Davey Blackburn of Indianapolis can forgive the men that murdered his pregnant wife during a home invasion, then it’s time for me to cowboy up.

I’m never going to be perfect at this. The best I can ever claim is progress, never perfection.  Only God is perfect and there is a huge chasm between His perfection and the very best I’m able to muster.  But I find nowhere in the Gospel that God will revoke my redemption if I fail to be perfect.  I don’t believe that He ever anticipated that I could measure up to His flawlessness.  I don’t think He is ever surprised by my failures, ever thought I could meet His standards, or live the perfect Christian life. If He thought that He would not have found it necessary to come down to earth to die for me. But he did exactly that.