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I tend to carry too much baggage from the past.
You torment yourself.
Torment myself? Why do I do that, there is one who specializes in that and he so good at it that he needs no help from me. Why be in league with the tormentor? That's bush league, or worse, baggage league.
Jesus could cut and cleanse that all away. When he washed his disciples' feet, it wasn't just dust from the street he removed, but the accumulated crud of a lifetime.
Like De Niro in the old movie playing the guilty character who could not forgive himself for having killed his own brother, and who was dragging armor up a mountain as a kind of penance,
It was one of the most powerful moments in history period.
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