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According to a recent article in We Still Consider Ourselves Orthodox magazine, the PC-USA and UCC (United Church of Christ) have announced that they are nearly finished completing what they call a “revised” version of their standard hymnals.
The decision to “revise” their standard hymnals “was not taken lightly,” according to Rev. Comp Romise, the Director of this bi-denominational project. The Rev. continued, “Every single person on this planet needs to know they are loved, accepted as they are, and do not need to change what their internal identity is in order to be considered part of God's family.”
Current hymnals have been edited and named “hym/her/transnals.” “Hymnals was just too sexist. We didn't want to offend anyone by having only 'hym' in the title” said Rev. Romise. He continued, “As many know we have stopped using words in the traditional hymnals such as 'sin,' 'cross,' and 'blood' as to not offend anyone's senses. The natural next step was to cater to the homosexual and transgender communities so they would feel even more comfortable in our worship services.”
When asked if there were any plans to change any other aspects of their denominations in order to meet the growing population of adult men who claim to be little girls, and have even been adopted by families, he replied, “I'd hope an individual in that situation would feel welcome by the changes we have already made.”
One final question was posed to Rev. Romise. “What about those who practice bestiality?” He answered, “ Well, now you're just being silly."
*This article is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is full of satire and irony.
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