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The leaves of red, orange and yellow fluttered to the ground as if life carried on as normal. I put my head between my hands.
My life had come to a screeching halt. I sensed something wasn’t right with my relationship with my husband for a couple of years. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Josh and I had never talked about our feelings. I was afraid to ask Josh what was going on. Now it was too late.
Josh had just left for work. As he picked up his briefcase and headed for the door, he turned and frowned.
“Marg, I really do care about you and the kids, but our marriage is over. I can’t go on like this. I’m seeing a lawyer this afternoon about filing for a divorce.”
I stood there with my mouth wide open in shock as he walked out the door. I sat down at the kitchen table and tried to collect my thoughts. This couldn’t be happening. It was a bad dream. I’d wake up and everything would be back to normal.
Then the tears came like a flood. What had gone wrong with our marriage of sixteen years? What about our four kids? My heart was bubbling like a pot of stew on the stove, and it wasn’t bubbling with the wonderful fragrance of love, joy and peace. It was boiling with rage.
I was mad at God for allowing things to go this far, and afraid to look at my part in our broken lives. I was mad at myself for not taking action when I first sense there was a problem. I had ignored it, and moved on with life. I was mad at Josh. How could he do this to us?
I turned my phone off, and sat down with a cup of coffee. “Lord,” I prayed, “What have I done wrong? Why is our marriage falling apart? Open my eyes that I can see. I’m not giving up on my marriage! Lord, intervene on our behalf.”
I wish I understood where Josh was coming from. Our lives had become disconnected. Expect for the kids, there wasn’t much that bonded us together. We were two separate people living in the same house. I didn’t know how it happened or why. My stomach churned.
Should I talk with Brenda? She’s my sister and I love her, but no, she might let something slip to the wrong person. What about Pastor Rob? Josh has a decent relationship with him, and maybe Pastor Rob could talk some sense into him.
My hand trembled as I dialed the number.
“Pastor Rob speaking. How may I help you?”
It threw me that Pastor Rob answered the phone. Where was Debbie, our church secretary?
“Pastor Rob, this is Marg...” the dam broke and I sobbed uncontrollably. “I’m sorry to bother you.”
“Marg, what’s going on?”
“I need to talk with you, actually with you and Patty. It’s Josh.”
“It’s nine now. Can you be at the church by ten?”
“I’ll clear the morning. Pull yourself together. I’m praying. Patty and I will meet you at my study at ten.”
Somehow I managed to drive the three miles to the church. I breathed a sigh of relief to find no one there but the Pastor and his wife. The door to the study stood ajar and Pastor and Patty were sitting on a sofa.
“Come in.” Pastor Rob motioned me to the matching sofa on their right. “Please sit down.”
I closed the door, walked over and eased myself into the sofa. Silence filled the air.
Pastor Rob leaned forward, “Marg, what’s the problem?”
My voice cracked, “Josh is seeing a lawyer about a divorce this afternoon.”
The phone rang.
“Excuse me, Marg, this could be important.”
Meanwhile, across town, Josh sat at his desk in “Computers Your Way” where he worked as a Geek Guy. It was a quiet morning.
Josh sipped his coffee,"Sure wish there was a ton of business this morning."
He and his friend, Dan, watched Sandy standing by the door with a cappuccino.
“Boy,” whispered Josh, “wish Marg dress like that once in a while. I know she’s at home, but does she have to be so sloppy? She pays more attention to the kids than she does to me.”
Josh sighed, “Sometimes I wonder if she even knows I exist. At least Sandy smiles at me.”
Dan looked up from his cup of coffee, “Man, I never heard you talk that way before.”
Josh stared at Dan, “I’m afraid our marriage is over. I have an appointment at two with the lawyer.”
“Cancel that appointment, buddy. It’s a bad scene. I don’t want to see your marriage fall apart.”
Josh glared at Dan and stormed off.
Yet, in a few minutes Josh picked up his phone and told his lawyer, “Something’s come up, I can’t make it at two. I’ll set up another appointment later.”
He dialed again, “Pastor Rob, this is Josh. Can I come by and talk with you this afternoon about two?”
“Sure, that would be fine. I’ll see you at two.”
Pastor Rob looked up at me with a broad smile.
“That was your husband. God is at work. Everything is going to be just fine.”
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