Healthy Living

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Musing on a future newscast-dj eckert

Today's hour of the news is brought to you by BOLAVAX, A division of Pharmakia Emporium, makers of ENCHANTUS, and LEMMINGENEXIS "let them enchant YOU with their new Powerful ,cleansing,transforming and joyfully sedating products !"
now here's our lively lovely newsperson Jen
Bender.

Thanks Merl , there is a large gathering of protesters gathered in Omaha this morning protesting the Government Regulators' new shocking law banning the pharmaceutical infusion of product into beer and softdrinks.
A spokesperson for the agency had this to say:
"We are sorry for any disturbance and inconvenience this new law might bring to the public , but we feel that too much of ANYTHING , even some good things like OUR pharmaceuticals can sometimes cause certain issues that our Homeland is just not prepared to handle at this time. So for the immediate future this is the reason for our new law"

Our roving field reporter Ben Dover is live on the scene, Ben:
Thanks Jender, we have quite a raucous and angry crowd here in Omaha, I didn't see it myself Jen, but I am hearing reports that as many as twelve protestors actually attempted to get up out of their iCHAIRS and I hear as many as three were successful. One of these protestors was even , I was told, but we are still awaiting confirmation on this, but this one radical protestor was screaming loudly and was then rolled off to prison. I am also hearing that three other radical protestors were rolled off for ( I'm still not clear on these allegations), it was for either raising their voices or their arms, or maybe both.... maybe even yelling. I'll let you know when I get the final police report on that.
But clearly a very unhappy crowd here in Omaha today Jender .

Thanks Ben , still the bad news continues on throughout the world , today the DEPARTMENT OF WORLD
HEALTH SECURITY is reporting that last month 333,333 people worldwide have been inflicted and diagnosed with the Ebola 2 virus, our prayers and thoughts go out to those patients and their families. And I think we are ALL hopeful that the newly developed and very expensive treatments will all be affordable and available to EVERYONE someday soon.

On a lighter, completely unrelated note :
people are lining up at their local pharmakias very excited about getting their new discounted government issued ebola vaccines . It's been reported that at our own local SorcererSmart located at the corner of Screwem and Howe, that as many as thirteen hundred people have rolled up to the rollup window,rolled up their sleeves and received their cleansing BOLAVAX in the last two weeks.
With this happy note, I'm signing off till tomorrow with some new news, and we will be airing our special report on Apple's new iCHAIR apps, and their integration with the iCRAPPER and it's new revolutionary wiping app. All very exciting!! ,
Until tomorrow, may Lucifer bless you all.

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