Is there an Absalom out there?
If you answered yes to that question, I understand your pain brother. You wanted to do the right thing by your sister (or another hurt loved one) but you went about it the wrong way and now, instead of being the hero you've become the villain. You allowed your anger to control you and caused further damage. If you had the will power to resist the temptation and control your anger you would have been the hero instead of the villain. You're not alone! Many are in that very place today. They believe they were justified in their past action and they have transferred that behaviour to other areas of intolerance in their lives.
Some people who can relate to Absalom’s experience are living in fear or living with regrets, isolated from loved ones. Some are incarcerated physically while others are mentally incarcerated. But you have a choice today just like they do. You can choose to learn from past mistakes and start to live again, putting your energy to better use in helping your loved one who was hurt.
That is the way forward. You will then have the experience to help other broken vessels, and your time on earth will be put to good use. You do not have to die like Absolom died—filled with hatred, not having lived a fulfilled life. You can choose life today. God placed a seed of greatness in you. Do not let it die and go to waste. Your life is a precious gift to mankind—Don’t waste it! Arise! Lay down your weapon of deceit. Your hatred is not just a feeling it controls your thought process and leads to destructive actions. Repent of your sins and seek God's forgiveness. It is freely available to you right now.
Absalom Is reconciled to David
This goes to show that when we inflict pain—when we hurt someone, thinking it's just between us and that person we are being naive. When we hurt someone it has a ripple effect. Absalom inadvertently hurt his father when he murdered his brother. The entire family was affected not just the one Absalom had an issue with.
Wait a minute!
Didn’t this start with Amnon raping Tamar?
Yes, that was how it started. Before Absalom came into the picture there was a rape case:
Amnon vs Tamar.
Tamar’s Plea: Before Amnon lusted after his half-brother's sister, all the previously reported tragedies could have been avoided if he had applied self-control, denied the urge to lay with her and respected her wishes when she said,
"No, don't force me to do such a degrading thing!That's awful!How could I ever hold up my head in public again?And you—you would be completely disgraced in Israel..."
Amnon didn't want someone who was available, he wasn't looking for commitment. He had an urge for a moment's pleasure. Tamar must have seen the determination in his eyes and knew he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted so she went as far as to say, "...Please, speak to the King, and I'm sure that he will give me to you." She was holding on to the hope of her body being saved from defilement—saving her virginity for the man to whom she would be one day married. In 2 Samuel 13:14 it is recorded that Amnon would not listen to her; and since he was stronger than she was, he overpowered her and raped her.
However, it was a delicate situation which called for a response rather than a reaction.
Response vs Reaction:
The family needed to respond to this situation in an appropriate manner that would ensure the safety of each family member while taking appropriate action against the perpetrator so that such an act would not be repeated. Within that setting, appropriate measures would be taken for the justice of Tamar and punishment of Amnon.
Repentance may or may not have taken place. Forgiveness may or may not progress from that setting but it would have planted the seed and allowed room for confession/repentance/ forgiveness and reconciliation to take place at some point in the future if not there and then. The father, in his capacity of head of the family as well as king of the nation, would be in charge of taking the appropriate measures. However, instead of a parental/family response we had the reaction of a sibling. His anger was justified but his reaction placed him in the same position as his brother—same spirit but different crime.
Now the perpetrator (Amnon) of the original crime becomes the victim. The victim (Tamar) is forgotten—left alone to deal with the after-effects of the abuse. Tamar's brother, Absalom, who tried to fightback—fighting for the cause of defending his sister’s honour, did not gain that heroic status because he became the villain. It was a matter of lack of self-control on Absalom’s part.
When we react hastily or react rather than respond to a situation, we make matters worse.
Lusting After the Flesh 3: http://www.faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=180890