Christian Living

Part 7 Overcoming

by james rondinone 
11/02/15
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Learning How to Live Victoriously

œDiscussing a Dispute Privately

œResponding to Evil Speech and Prosecution in Law                                                                

   When we were an unbeliever it was not unusual to tell our friends, family, etc. about a dispute that we were having with someone else. Is this the protocol that born again Christians should follow?

Discussing a Dispute Privately

   It is a natural response that if another believer offends us in word, speech, or action that we should disclose the matter to someone else (e.g. friend, wife, pastor, etc.) in order to obtain their help in dealing with the issue or in order to vent about the offense that we have incurred. While this is the world’s way of doing things, it’s not God’s way.

   If I have been offended by another believer, and no one else knows about it, then I should go to him/her privately in order to restore, and not tell another person about the offense. If he/she refuses to admit guilt, then give the matter over to God. Case closed.

   If I have been offended by another believer, and there is at least one other person who is an eye or ear witness to the offense, then I still believe that I should go to him/her privately in order to restore, and not tell another person about the offense. If he/she refuses to admit guilt, then I may go back and address the matter again, bringing the witness with me. If he/she admits guilt, then the matter is closed. If he/she continues to refuse to admit guilt, bring the matter to those in the church, who have been appointed to address such matters.

   If I have been offended by another believer publicly, then I would recommend still going to the offending believer alone in order to restore. If he/she admits guilt, then hopefully he/she will also admit guilt before those who witnessed the offense beforehand, if any. If he/she does not admit guilt, then follow the steps as outlined above.

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church:… (Matthew 18:15-17)

   In the early 1980’s, I was approached by two pastors concerning managing a gold and silver store. They promised me 50% commission on any profit. I agreed to the proposal.

   I was trained to detect how much gold was in an item, and soon I was managing a store in Catskill, NY. At the end of each work week I would bring the gold and silver to a refinery, which would pay me according to the value of the precious metals.

   At the end of the first week, I brought the 50% profit to the pastors. I was told that the percentage was incorrect. The correct percentage was 35%. I reiterated to the pastors that we had previously negotiated a 50% commission, which was the primary condition for me quitting my previous job. The pastors said that it wouldn’t be right to give me a higher commission than the other people who were working for them.

   I had four choices. The first was to quit and tell everyone about how I was misled. The second was to quit, tell know one else about how I was misled and give the matter to God. The third was to accept the change, but still tell everyone about how I was misled. The fourth choice was to accept the change, tell know one else about how I was misled and give the matter to God.

   Whether the pastors misled me intentionally or not, I’m not sure. In their minds, they did nothing wrong. According to them, the circumstances dictated that they change their minds.

   I went the avenue of choosing number three. I accepted the change, but told my wife about what had transpired. Little did I know at the time that she would harbor resentment toward these two pastors. Furthermore, this caused her be ever more suspicious of those who were in leadership positions in the church. In most cases a wife is going to believe her husband, if he has a disagreement with another believer. By telling her of this, I opened the door of opportunity for her to tell others of this incident.

   Either we realize that we are in God’s plan or we don’t. When he allows trials, God wants to use them to refine us. He wants us to learn how to think and respond with his thoughts, and not respond according to the ways of the flesh.

   All of us make mistakes. It’s not whether we make a mistake, but rather whether or not we learn from it so that the next time we respond according to God’s way of doing things.

   If you have been mistreated — intentionally or not — by another, then it is appropriate to go to discuss the matter with him/her. However, before you go, check your motives. If your thoughts are consumed with the unfairness of it all, and with the intention of getting him/her back, then stop in your tracks. Don’t go any further. As difficult as it may be, confess this mindset as sin to God the Father.

   Then start thinking about God’s perspective in this area such as:

My times are in thy hand:… (Psalms 31:15)

So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. Hebrews 13:6

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Jacob and Laban

Suggested Reading: Genesis 25:27-34; Chapters 27; 28; 29; 30; 31

   Isaac, the son of Abraham, married a woman named Rebekah, who had twin sons, in approximately 2004 BC. The oldest was called Esau, and the youngest was called Jacob. Jacob was a shepherd, and Esau was a hunter.

   Over the course of time Jacob swindled the first born, his brother Esau, out of both the family birthright and the family blessing. The family birthright, which was allotted to the first born son consisted of three advantages:

(1.) The first-born son became the priest of the family.

(2.) The first-born son had allotted to him a double portion of the paternal inheritance.

(3.) The first-born son inherited the judicial authority (rule over the brethren and the entire family) of his father, whatever it might be28. The family blessing refers to a “blessing” that the patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) customarily extended upon their children before they died.

    Esau, because of these injustices, determined in his mind to kill his brother Jacob after his father Isaac died. Rebekah, upon hearing about this plot, sent Jacob away to stay with her brother Laban. Laban had two daughters, Leah the elder, and Rachel. Jacob fell in love with Rachel. Laban allowed Jacob to marry Rachel, on the condition that he first work for him for seven years. After seven years, Jacob and Rachel were about to get married.

   After much festivity, perhaps involving drunkenness, Laban substitutes Leah for Rachel in the marriage tent. Unbeknownst to Jacob, he thought that he has had relations with his wife Rachel. He finds out the next day that it was Leah. He had been misled by his father-in-law. Laban said that if he wanted to marry Rachel, then he would have to work for him an additional seven years.

   Jacob had two choices. He could leave the premises or he could work an additional seven years so that he could marry Rachel. He was well aware that he had been misled. However, he had received an assurance from God that he would bring him back to his homeland of Beersheba according to His appointed time. I would not be surprised if Jacob prayed to God and asked him if this was the time for him to go back home.

And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of. Genesis 28:15

   Jacob decided to work an additional seven years and marry Rachel. Laban confessed to Jacob that he had been blessed materialistically because of his God. Realizing that Jacob had fulfilled his obligations, Laban offered him a financial proposal with the hope that he would stay with him longer.

And Laban said unto him, I pray thee, if I have found favour in thine eyes, tarry: for I have learned by experience that the Lord hath blessed me for thy sake. Genesis 30:27

   Jacob suggested a plan that would allow him to receive some of Laban’s flock for himself. Little did Laban know that God has given Jacob favor in this agreement. God took away the strong cattle of Laban and gave it to Jacob.

And he heard the words of Laban’s sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that was our father’s; and of that which was our father’s hath he gotten all this glory. Genesis 31:1

Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked thee yesternight. Genesis 31:42

   Throughout all that happened, Jacob was aware that God was in control. When we are misled or hurt by another, remember, we are in God’s plan. Seek God’s counsel and abide in it, and God will bless you in his time and in his manner.

   Have patience with your fellow believers, forgiving (forgetting) an offense. If any have a matter of complaint against another believer, then as Christ has forgiven us, so should we forgive them. Discuss a dispute with the person you have an issue with, and do not make it known to others.

   He that forgives (conceals) an offense seeks love, but he that dwells on a past offense and tells others about it makes the friend become an enemy or a stranger. We can avoid dwelling on a past offense when we realize that God has allowed it to occur so that he can purify us, as gold is purified.

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Colossians 3:13

Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another: Proverbs 25:9

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends. Proverbs 17:9

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 1 Peter 1:7

   How should we respond to someone who is speaking evil against us concerning our faith?

   How should we respond to someone who accuses us of something that we didn’t do and takes us to a court of law seeking punishment?

   When we are brought before judges for our faith what instructions has God provided for us in his word?

Responding to Evil Speech and Prosecution in Law 

   I can honestly say that I can’t remember being injured by an unbeliever in character, person, or property concerning my faith. I will say that I have been injured in character by other believers.

   I wonder how often believers injure fellow believers in character over doctrinal views, financial issues, and presumptive thoughts concerning another believer’s behavior?

   Personally, while I maintain views on various doctrinal topics, these views would not cause me to be unable to fellowship with another believer who has a different viewpoint than mine, unless

they were not an advocate of any one of the following doctrinal views that follow.

These views are:

1. That Jesus Christ is God, who is one of the members of the trinity.

2. That Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, without a sin nature.

3. That Jesus Christ lived a sinless life while here on earth.

4. That Jesus Christ died on the cross, paying the penalty for the sins of the whole world, and also provided forgiveness for these sins.

5. That Jesus Christ rose from the dead after three days, never to die again.                                                                                                                                               6. That Jesus Christ ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.                  7. That we must repent to God the Father and believe in who Jesus is and what he has done in order to be born again and secure an eternal destiny.

At Midnight, Paul and Silas Prayed and Sang Praises unto God

Suggested Reading: Acts 16:13-34

   Paul and Silas were in Philippi, the capital of the province of Macedonia, a colony of Rome. While there, there was a woman named Lydia whose heart the Lord opened after she received the word spoken by the apostle Paul.

   She offered them lodging at her house for the night, which they accepted. While there, they prayed. During this time they met a woman who had a spirit of divination. She proceeded to follow both of them for several days wherever they went.

   At a point in time Paul, being aware that she was demon possessed, commanded the demon who resided in her to come out, which he did. Her masters, who made money off of the spirit’s soothsaying, saw that their money making scheme was now gone. So they proceeded to stir up the city, making accusations against Paul and Silas who were apprehended, beaten with stripes, and cast into prison.

   While in jail, Paul and Silas sang psalms as prayer to God. While they were singing, an earthquake caused the prison doors to open. Being awakened out of his sleep by the earthquake and seeing the prison doors opened, the keeper of the prison was going to take his own life. Paul and Silas told him that none had escaped. The keeper inquired of them concerning their faith. He and his household heard the word of God and believed in Christ. Following this, they were baptized in water.

   When we are thinking God’s thoughts and operating in his power, God will guide us in His plan. We will be used to interrupt the forces and plans of the devil and his demons. This may cause others to do us harm. However, if we continue to look to God in the midst of these trying circumstances, then God will provide opportunities for us to reveal Him to others.

   Stephen, a deacon of the early church, disputed with certain of the synagogue of the Libertines, Cyrenians, and Alexandrians. He was apprehended and brought before the ruling counsel of the Jews, the Sanhedrin. Because they were unable to resist the wisdom by which he spoke, thy cast him out of the city and stoned him to death. Before he died, he cried to God and said, “Lord do not impute to them so as to exact punishment.”

   Sometimes in God’s plan, he takes us home to be with him. If we are rightly related to Him, then others will witness to God working in and through our lives. The witnesses to Stephen’s stoning laid their clothes down at the feet of one named Saul, who God used at a later time not only to be a witness for Him, but also to write most of the New Testament.

   We are to wish the welfare of the person or persons who hate or oppose us. When they give us bad words, then we are to give them good words. We are to speak only of those things that we can commend in any enemy. If there is nothing to commend, then we are to say nothing30. If they injure us by prosecution in law or in any other way, then we are to pray to God for their salvation.

   We are not to take satisfaction for an injury by inflicting punishment back on the offender. Rather we are to think or meditate beforehand so that we will not evidence an improper spirit to those who injure us. If our enemy has become needy in some way, then we are to do him good and supply his/her needs.

   It is a righteous thing for God to pay back trouble to those who trouble us. Payback has in view both reward and retribution. When we are treated with punishment for the violation of civil laws, we deserve the punishment that we receive. However, if we endure suffering when we have performed good deeds, and we bear this suffering bravely and calmly, then this is an acceptable response before God. Just as Christ suffered for us in his expiatory and vicarious sacrifice for sin being an example for us, that we should follow his conduct. When he was railed at, he did not rail back. When he suffered at the hands of men, he did not declare that he would harm them, but gave the matter over to God the Father.

   For this is the will of God for us, that all who will live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. When we suffer for him, and we will, we will give him all the glory, because we know that if when we suffer wrongfully, and take this suffering patiently, then this is acceptable to God.

Then there arose certain of the synagogue, which is called the synagogue of the Libertines, and Cyrenians, and Alexandrians, and of them of Cilicia and of Asia, disputing with Stephen. And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spake. Then they suborned men, which said, We have heard him speak blasphemous words against Moses, and against God. And they stirred up the people, and the elders, and the scribes, and came upon him, and caught him, and brought him to the council, And set up false witnesses, which said, This man ceaseth not to speak blasphemous words against this holy place, and the law: For we have heard him say, that this Jesus of Nazareth shall destroy this place, and shall change the customs which Moses delivered us. And all that sat in the council, looking stedfastly on him, saw his face as it had been the face of an angel. Acts 6:9-15

And cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man’s feet, whose name was Saul. And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, ord Jesus, receive my spirit. And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Acts 6:58-60

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. Romans 12:17

Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Romans 12:20

Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you; And to you who are troubled rest with us,… (2 Thessalonians 1:6-7)

For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls. 1 Peter 2:20-25

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 2 Timothy 3:12

For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. 1 Peter 2:20

   Ask God the Father by means of the Holy Spirit to impress upon you those verses to memorize and meditate upon in your areas of weakness.

   In the next section two more areas of overcoming will be addressed.

   The first has to do with a topic that has many unbelievers and believers under its spell, that being of addictions. How can a believer overcome any type of addiction?

   The second has to do with a believer taking another believer to court. Is this biblical?