Faith
Dear God,
There are some burdens that I cannot bear alone. Sometimes, they get to me. They put me down, they tear my will, they shatter my soul. There are burdens that become more painful as each day passes...and most of the time, the temptation to give up overpowers me.
There is a story, Oh Lord, that shall unfold. A destiny that will be opened in the presence of men. You know this for you know everything, and you know the horrifying burden I bear each day of my life because of this. Sometimes, I feel as though I am at the brink of insanity...dreaming, hoping...yet never knowing.
But even then, I know you are with me. I know you have plans to prosper me and not to harm me...and I know you care. Though each chapter of the book of life opens and things become more and more impossible, I lay down all my anxieties at your feet and I give all my hope to you. Why? Because, I trust you. With all that is in my mind, my strength, and my soul...I trust you. Only you can do something out of nothing. Only you could ever understand.
Father, I am grateful for your unconditional and perpetual love. I thank you for sending your Son to save me from my sins and I am thankful because you are willing to give this gift of salvation to whoever asks for it. Though none of us are worthy enough, you made us worthy through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Even the most eloquent of words cannot justify what I am feeling right now. It is a mixture of faith, of doubt, and of guilt. Teach me, Father, to follow your ways; teach me to keep your laws intact. I want nothing less than to please you and I want nothing more than your mercy. I know that you are a merciful God, willing to forgive when we repent...therefore I ask, would you forgive a man in my behalf?
Year after year, month after month, day after day, I pray for him. He knows you exist and yet he hates you. Though, I cannot understand why, he is a man that I deeply love. And yet, you know that I love you more than anything in this world (more than him) and if you had wanted me to abandon him, I would have and I would still. But no such command came from you. Instead, you gave me hope. A hope that one day, you would open his eyes and his ears that he may realize just how much he truly needs you. But right now, Father, he is caught in a war. A horrible war that could cost him his life! How can I even explain the suffering that I feel? I fear so much for his safety and more for his salvation.
Father, you know the only thing I can do for him is pray. I know not where he is nor can I find out. He is not of this world and yet somehow, he is a part of it. And I? I am lost. I cannot find peace and there is absolutely nothing I can do by myself.
Give me peace, oh my Father. I you will it, give me the peace that only your Son can give. The peace far from human understanding and yet fruitful in its effect. Give me a reason to hope, oh Lord, to hope and believe and trust your heart.
And when the first drop of tears fall along with the rain, I can finally understand the fulfillment of your promises.
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