Family

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I guarantee you've seen them but chances are you didn't notice them – the lonely ones. The ones who sit by themselves all the time. The ones who wander the halls and foyer of your church hoping that someone will notice, really notice them, hoping for the chance to talk and connect, and ultimately hoping for somewhere to belong. You've seen them but have you really looked at them? Seen the longing in their eyes, heard the emptiness in their voice, felt the ache in their heart? And if you have, what did you do about it? A hug? A prayer? A kind word? While those things are good they're only good for a few minutes. So what can you do? Be their family.

Scripture says that ”God places the lonely in families (Ps 68:6)”. Sure, He might give them a family of their own -spouse and children – but till then they still need a family. They need your family. They need you to truly be part of their lives, to invest in them and draw out the best in them. I can hear some of you saying, “But I don't have time for that.” You have time for what you make time for, it's just a matter of priorities. Besides, being a family for the lonely is commanded in Scripture it's just referred to differently. It's said in ways like, “practice hospitality (Romans 12:13)” and to take care of the foreigner, stranger, widow, orphan.

The problem is no one really practices these things (not that I know of anyway) and the question is: “Why not?” Most likely the answer is “familial-self-absorbtion” (and yes I made that word up). Here's what I mean by it: each family(and with very few exceptions I mean the most immediate family) ultimately only ever truly gives thought to those who are already part of that family – either by blood, marriage, or legal adoption – and rarely (if ever) extends family considerations to anyone else. It's as though each family is it's own highly exclusive club and while the various clubs might sometimes do things together in the end they are still separate groups. But does anyone really think that God intended for it to be that way among His people? Isn't it supposed to be, “in Christ we... form one body (Romans 12:5)” Of course it is.

I hope that at this point you're asking, “How do we become a family for the lonely?” First you have to find them, you have to learn how to truly see them, because I can promise you that they are all around you, desperate to be seen. Pray and ask God to show you the ones around you who need to be part of your family. Once you've found them and established a basic relationship with them the next step is simple – invite them in. Invite them to celebrate life with you. Invite them over for holidays, birthdays (yours and theirs) and any other celebrations. This part is very important because the lonely often have no one to spend this time with and end up going through holidays and significant life events all alone. In doings these things and reaching out to the lonely ones all around you, the church will finally and truly be what it's meant to be – a family.

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