Family

Living in the fullness of life Part 1

by Janice S Ramkissoon 
04/27/15
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"Father God, I wonder how I managed to exist without the knowledge of Your parenthood and your loving care. But now I am your son, I am adopted in Your family, and I can never be alone, cause Father God, You're there beside me." --Ian Smale

By the absence of my biological father in my life, I had a very negative view of God, my heavenly Father. I heard about God in Sunday school, through sermons, and through reading the Bible. However, I had nothing of personal reference. I knew of Him but never been introduced to Him in a way that felt like I had access to Him. I didn't feel connected to Him and because of the public persona of the people I admired who acknowledged Him as their God, I also imagined I wasn't good enough to be granted His favour.

Growing up, can best be described simply as 'existing'. I existed in a family where I was 'looked after'. What I was surrounded by was all I knew and so it was 'normal'. I would neither describe it as living a victorious or defeated life--just living/existing.

I cannot say I wasn't loved because there was nothing major to suggest that I was different from the others I grew up with. However, something was missing and that missing part of the puzzle would find me searching for fulfilment.

Just like I spent years searching for my earthly father. I spent years trying to connect with the God I read about in the Bible. The God my great-grandparents and grandparents believed in, enough to commit their lives to spreading the gospel. Having such knowledge made me determined to find out more. I didn't want to blindly embrace the gospel being presented to me.

In my search for fulfilment, I met with pain, pain's cousins, pain's friends and pain's master. As I travelled with pain, I learned many lessons. Today, I am at a place in my life where I am convinced that I could not have existed without a Creator. If therefore, I am a created being, I belong to the One who created me and whomever the Creator is, my worship, dedication, commitment and service belongs to Him. That forced me to accept that I do not simply exist. My life has a purpose  and I needed to live out that purpose. In order to do that I must connect to whomever created me.

While living, simply existing, every form of religion sought my attention. Some came knocking at my heart's door, my front door. It started in my teen years once I was doing things 'my way' and advanced while at university.  I was either being introduced to another person that was also created or an image designed by another created being. None of it appealed to me. 

However, I began to search the Scriptures for answers and found that everything it predicted would happen, did happen. Everything it said about me and my life was actually true. All the consequences (good or bad) listed in attachment to certain behaviour or lifestyle was clearly stated and I could see the evidence around me. I read or listened to the news and Scriptures were being fulfilled. I responded to its instructions and my life was being changed.

It was then I began to see clearly. Whoever left these instructions in the Bible must be the One who created me because the pieces of the puzzle began to fit in their places. It began to make sense. The Bible became my teacher and soon, thereafter, I met my Creator.  My life began to take shape. I knew then that I was created for a purpose. I wasn't created simply to exist.

Today, my life is filled with purpose. I was saved from death to life. I am called to live a life of fullness--an abundant life, according to John 10:10. The purpose of Jesus' coming to earth (God taking on human form) was to give us life. He says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life." He continues in verse 11, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." That is exactly what Jesus did for me and the rest of this world at Calvary.

The Cross represents Jesus' love for me. I was included in His statement in verse 16, "I have other sheep that are not of this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd."

The other leaders being presented to me did not offer up their lives for me. Their lives were taken from them. They did not have authority to lay it down and take it up again like Jesus had (see verse 18). Jesus then presented Himself, in John 14:6, as "...the way and the truth and the life." He says,  "No one comes to the Father except through me."

My desire was to know the truth (it still is) and my search was to find God, the Father, so I began to read and meditate on the Word of God (the Bible).

Guess what happened?

He brought me right back to the place of my pain. I imagined finding my Creator who would make it alright. However, God used my pain, the only thing I was familiar with, to connect me to Himself. Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions! Why would God take me back to the very place I was running from?

Well, I never did complete the puzzle, I simply kept on living. I was going through the daily routine. One day was rolling into another and everyday was the same. I simply existed. It was all I knew how to do well. I didn't know the truth about who I was, yet the Bible I was reading was telling me that I shall know the truth and the truth shall set me free. So I was getting excited about my future.

My painful days were surrounded by not knowing the truth about my earthly father. So that's where my journey of reconnecting with God began.

Sometimes it's good to look back and see from a distance (far from the hurt and pain) separated from the circumstances, to recognise how we have arrived at where we currently are. Having done that, I can now recommend it. That's how I have come to be convinced of God's  presence in my life, working through individuals who have made themselves available to be used by Him.

-End of part 1-

Please join me in part two (http://www.faithwriters.com/article-details.php?id=176984) as I give God praise for some of these individuals.