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There Is Love, Elizabeth's Shadows, Fear is Something We Learn
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The Beginning or The End?
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” - Marianne Williamson
The moment Rick took her hand Lizzy was afraid. She’d been afraid before like this too; when it first started. She still remembered the first time Rick and taken her by the hand and led her down the hallway. Her mommy had remained asleep on the couch in Rick’s living room. Lizzy couldn't remember life before her new step-daddy. Her big sister Amber told her stories sometimes of her real daddy. Lizzy didn't know how to pray or about God but she would talk in her head and ask her real daddy to come save them. This time the fear Lizzy felt began to curl in her tummy.
“Remember two weeks and don’t bruise her to badly eh?” Rick said when he got close to the tall man with a scraggly beard. Lizzy had once seen pictures of Santa Claus and thought the man looked like a taller, slightly thinner and vagrant version of the character.
“Yeah sure” the man said, “What do you call her?”
“Kitten, but you can call her whatever you like” Rick said glancing down at her.
Lizzy kept her eyes on her worn out boots. Each day Rick would have Lizzy and her older sister dress up in what he called play outfits. Today her outfit consisted of a skimpy two-piece bathing suite. Lizzy was thankful that at least her step-daddy had let her wear a sweater over it because of the cold. Lizzy felt the scraggly tall man’s eyes on her and it reminded her of when she had awakened to two bugs crawling over her arms. That was the night when Rick had tossed her into the shed for calling him Rick instead of Jesus on accident. Lizzy hated that empty cold shed and the dark that seemed to be so heavy around her. She tried to do whatever Rick wanted in order to avoid it. But sometimes she would say or do something wrong on accident or Rick would just use the shed as a way to frighten her into doing whatever he asked when he would come for her after he was done with her sister.
Lizzy felt Rick’s hand tighten painfully as he made a final statement.
“Don’t worry she’ll do everything you say; if she gives you trouble toss her in your tool shed for awhile and she’ll be compliant then” Rick said, adding something about money that she did't understand. The other man nodded and held out his hand, Rick put her hand in his and after a final nod turned and walked away. Lizzy’s fear grew as she heard Rick ordering Amber and Ethan back into the truck, but she dare not protest for fear of the dark shed. The man started towards his run down looking house and as Lizzy was jerked along after him she nearly screamed out in panic as she saw Rick hit her sister and then start pushing her back towards the truck. Amber didn't look up and very quickly a trail of dust was the only thing left in the driveway of the man who now held her hand painfully captive.
“You can call me Shadow little girl” The man said as they walked up the porch steps. A large dog with big teeth lay sleeping on the porch and Lizzy almost tripped on the last step as Shadow dragged her along into the house. The sun was setting behind them as the screen door snapped back into place and she felt somewhere deep inside her heart being stuffed into a box and locked away. The man took her down his hallway and Lizzy started to hear someone screaming, the walls turned black and began to close in on her. The man who held her hand changed into a demon like fiend. She realized the screaming was coming from her own mouth as she was being pulled into an inky darkness.
Walking in her padded cell at St. Mary’s Mental Health Institute Elizabeth Carington sat straight up in bed, a silent scream on her lips. Breathing heavily Elizabeth, or Beth as she was called by her adopted mother, tried to push the nightmare from her mind. Voices from her past rose up as the dream faded, “you're a worthless wretch!” mocked one voice. “I’m never letting you out of the shed!” A laugh only describable as pure evil echoed through her head and seemed to build in the room.
“Stop!... Stop!... STOP!” Beth whispered her voice rising with each word.
The laugh echoed again, “you can never escape me Lizzy girl! I’ll haunt you for forever!” the distinct voice of Victor Price or Shadow the man who had done unspeakable evil to her rose like a crescendo over her whispered pleas.
“Stop Shadow. Stop Shadow!” Beth repeated over and over as she rocked back and forth.
Suddenly the door to her room flew open and Beth was pushed overboard into a full blown psychotic hallucination. The walls began closing in on her and she felt Shadow’s breath on her cheek, “You’re mine Lizzy girl!” His voice as clear as that first night with him. She struggled as his hands grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides.
Dr. Jonathan Collins rushed into Elizabeth's room behind the orderlies who were in the process of restraining her, as they did Elizabeth began to convulse and foam started forming around her mouth.
“Quick! She’s having another seizure! Hold her steady!” Jonathan commanded. With practiced smoothness Jonathan prepped a mild sedative in his syringe and injected Elizabeth in her upper arm. The convulsions stopped almost instantly and Elizabeth lay motionless again on her bed. The orderlies exited the room nearly as quickly as they had entered and Jonathan was left alone with patient E2561 or Beth as her Mother called her.
Elizabeth was 6 years old when it started, now she is 20. Her mind continues to be her worst enemy. Will she ever find the light of grace to chase away the shadows of the past? Will She ever be able to discover that there is a love that can heal her wounded heart and make her whole inside?
Stay tuned to hear more of Elizbeth's Story and please leave a comment below with any encouragements or critiques!
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