Christian Living

Pitfalls of Love Languages

by Terry Barlow
09/27/14
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    For those whose love language is the word of affirmation (as differing from the other love languages of physical touch, gift-giving, quality time together, and acts of service) there is a pitfall of which to beware (as with all the gifts of course) and may not be so much silence or destructive criticism like condemnation,  as it is flattery. Flattery, including self-flattery,  is actually counterfeit affirmation, because it is insincere praise.  This seems to have been Lucifer's love language too, since angels themselves possess love languages which in some instances overlap with our own.   Flattery is made inauthentic by the ulterior motive behind it. It would follow that those whose primary love language is verbal affirmation would be most susceptible and most vulnerable to flattery and its misleading, misguiding influence, same as the physical touch language would be susceptible to sensuality or the gift-giving language to materialistic manipulativeness, or trying to buy peoples’ loyalty, same as the language of acts of service could degenerate into workaholicism or the quality time love language to an unhealthy overdependence on a particular person. So it behooves each of us not only to know and be thankful for his or her primary (and secondary) love language, but also to know and beware of its pitfalls and abuses.