Family

I Hope, I Believe

by PamFord Davis 
09/24/14
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My Dad, Franklin Freeborn Ford, was born in a spacious Mycenae, NY State farmhouse. His date of birth was September 24, 1912 and he died in Cortland, NY in 2002. On this, his birthday, I remember one of the most painful experiences we shared as father and daughter.

Physicians had recently diagnosed Mom with lung cancer. My parents had moved from NY State to Texas seventeen years earlier, escaping brutal NY State winters. I came to help during her lung surgery, a time of recuperation and in order to care for Dad.

My father was deeply concerned about his bride of 52 years. Dad had his own health issues, suffered with Bi-Polar disorder, a survivor of a mild heart attack and stroke. In addition, he had severe hearing loss. It made communicating with him extremely difficult.

Following Mom’s surgery, she realized she could no longer care for herself and Dad, too. I had the formidable responsibility of locating an assisted living facility to house my 87 year old father. I made countless phone calls before finding a small-scale veteran’s home in town.

Breaking the news to Dad would not be easy; I knew that. I expected him to get angry; his partial deafness exasperated the situation. Mom lay on the sofa; as I knelt before Dad sitting in his favorite recliner. I had to be close to him and to speak loudly in order for him to understand.

He heard well enough to react in anger. Rising from his chair, he went outside. I followed close behind and joined him at his bench tree swing. It was his favorite place of relaxation; there, he regained composure and we talked things through. He would go because he cared for Mom.

Her illness led to an unexpected death about a week later. Dad never moved to the local veteran’s home; instead, I flew with him back to NY State for Mom’s funeral and his placement in an assisted living near my three sisters. NY State was ‘home’ and he found a measure of contentment.

I am unable to measure my loss through deaths of both parents. I hope, believe and bide my time…

“But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I’ll go to him, but he will never return to me (2 Samuel 12:23 HCS).”