Family

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Choice Making “I will make a helpmeet comparable unto him”.
There are so many philosophies and principles about making a choice of a spouse. This ranges from God’s choices to gambling. Majority of the crises in homes start from this critical junction. The choice of whom to marry are guided by many factors such as social and religious status, power and wealth influences, housekeeping and changing marital status, infatuation, lust and sex mate, greed and sympathy. Only few are truly based on Love.

Love is a common vocabulary in the film and entertainment industries. It is one of the most misused words in our world and generation. The actions and reactions of many revealed that only few people understand and have experienced enduring love widely claimed or sang about. Love is often misunderstood with lust, infatuation and greed for sex. People with false understanding of love do experience “Idle Love”- feelings!. Real love is dynamic, responsible to him/her, and sacrificial no matter what! There are so many common ideologies painted in the film industry that are calculated intention to distract and deceive large population of young people seeking for love and acceptance.

Love is a wonderful foundation for every successful home. The fact that two people have feelings for each other does not imply they understood what love is. Men and women are emotionally wired. Any form of relationship can result into having feelings. More so, when these two people share their ideas, problems, challenges, dreams and time. The cord of affinity will be activated. Emotional involvement may after that emerge. This emotional feeling is often referred to as love by many people. This does not justify the compatibility that is necessary for a fulfilled home- A help meet comparable unto him! When God noticed the gap, hole and weakness of man, He said “I will make a help meet comparable to him”. “Help meet” and “comparable” were not words chosen carelessly or casually in the book of Genesis 2.


Choice making for a life partner needs a deep sleep. This does not mean sleeping deeply physically and expecting a beautiful woman or handsome man to appear in the dream. That deep sleep means submission, patience, and willingness to follow accredited procedure to get you only the best partner. And trusting in God and His grace to make a help mate comparable to fulfilling God’s given purpose and your vision. It is easier for a person of calm spirit to see and interprets a necessary image properly than playing sentiment while choosing a spouse. The principle of deep sleep as related to choice making was well described by Gbile Akanni in his book “Not two but one”.

Whichever method is employed in identifying and recognising a life partner, selecting and binding with this fellow and building a Godly home with Godly seeds need preparation of our heart. To achieve this, purposefulness towards this must take precedence and control our emotion. It is advisable to avoid being involved emotionally first. If, your decisions, actions and desire may be compromised! Being a friend at first is enough! A credible pursuit and focus about life is a condition. Calmness, patience and prayer are necessary. This was what Adam was subjected to (Genesis 2:18). He was physically, biologically, spiritually and career wise settled but needed help meet comparable to him.

I know dating has so many definitions and purposes. However, it is not enough to sample and discover the heart of a man or woman who deliberately gets along with you for a wrong purpose! Some people will scheme you up, to steal your valuable virtues. And once this is done, the victim is dumped –The heart of man is DEEP and desperately wicked. Discovering a comparable help mate requires a painstaking, prayerful, patient and prepared mind to achieve this.

The fact that a supposed helpmate and comparable spouse is located or known with all clarity, love between them is real and growing does not rule out the possibility of challenges. But they are well equipped to seek solution to these. In fact, each home will have her unique challenges. However, they have quality and virtue to bind them lovingly and purposefully in any spiritual, financial, physical, health and parental challenges.

Later, in the family formed by Adam and Eve, they had their challenges while out of Eden. They bound because they were helpmate and comparable. It is unfortunate there are many Dinah and Samson who will not ABIDE. Such ones are going to build a relationship that cannot withstand external forces. And when injured, such may not be able to recover.

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