Marriage

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This subject is hard for many to think about let alone speak of. Intimacy in marriage. It's nothing new to hear about lack of intimacy in marriages especially when kids are brought into the mix. Many laugh and joke about it, and others do the "norm" by going outside of the marriage to fulfill what they are not getting at home. I can recall many conversations in regards to sexless marriages like it was to be expected and something men just have to deal with. How sad.

This worldly "norm" in marriage goes against the picture of marriage in the Bible and it grieves God to see how frivolous the vows, commitment, and sanctity of marriage has become. Divorce is all too easy to attain and so common that those whose marriage has lasted more than a decade are looked upon as rare.

It's no wonder men and women are deprived in marriages on many levels and it seems intimacy is the most abused being more of a weapon than the gift God intended it to be. When married, a spouse is never to deny their husband or wife sex because this invites satan to use his enticing ploys of seduction which drives a huge wedge into the marriage. Once adultery enters the marriage trust is broken and rarely ever brought back to the level it should be; bringing many harsh and ugly consequences. There are reasons for God's many laws and rules which man hates so much.

Adultery isn't just going out and being intimate with another person like all the celebrities and politicians we see on T.V. who we all like to shake our fingers at in disgust. It can be anything that takes the place of our marriage partner in a sexual manner. Our culture is so very aware and knowledgable of the many "things" these substitutes consist of that it has sadly become acceptable and tolerant in the eyes of the world but to God it is not acceptable and He is never tolerant of sin. These "things" are just as destructive as a blatant affair and just as cruel and selfish.

When married our bodies belong to our spouse, not us. 1 Cor 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. We should look for ways to make our spouse happy, support them in their decisions, respect them as a person, provide and protect, put them above others, become equals in the partnership, and sharing of ourselves. This is how God intended marriage to be. Denying, manipulating, controlling, ignoring, belittling, demanding, dominating, substituting, comparing, and degrading are never acceptable behaviors in a marriage.

Marriage requires continuous hard work. Just like loosing weight. There is no magic pill or therapy for it. It's not easy to get off our butts and move more while eating less. We can either make excuses, blame, deny and label as a disease or mental this or that...or we can take responsibility, put in the effort, get creative, while taking the time and effort it requires to make it grow healthy and strong. It's all about choices and acknowledging truth. Once we make the choice in truth, the change can start. Staying grounded in lies and stuck in denial only allows the clutches of satan to dig in even deeper.

While writing this I must say I am no expert in anything especially marriage and relationships. Far, far from it. My life is a constant trial of choices, decisions, twists and turns, ups and downs, joy and frustration which is something that happens when God starts His powerful, life changing work in a person. Anyone who claims their life is full of easy fun and games is either in denial or deceived from the father of lies, satan and not growing in their walk of life. With tribulation comes growth; we can either run away in fear from it or endure it in faith until we get to the other side with greater wisdom and character.

Promises or vows we make to God and others should never be broken. I believed strongly that marriage should be sacred, between a man and a woman, and intimacy should be enjoyed as a beautiful gift from God with no substitutes. No person or "thing" should ever become a wedge of destruction between a gift from God and those He loves. The storms we face in our marriages are opportunities to strengthen us and bring us closer together. We can either choose to get lost in the storm by inviting the "norm" of the world into it or obey our vow in marriage to God and our spouse and look to them for true love, rest, peace, and enjoyment. The way God the Father intended it to be.


Concerning Married Life


Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.1 Corinthians 7

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