Humor

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Did You Know...?

After about a year and a half of sounding like a dying (and being overly dramatic about it) water buffalo, my dishwasher finally breathed its last in early August 2002. I went to my local Home Depot and picked out a new one, arranging for delivery and installation of it on Friday, August 16. (My workweek is Monday through Thursday.) I live in one city and the delivery company is headquartered in another, about an hour away, so the delivering company indicated that they'd call me on the day of delivery when they were in town, for specific directions to my home. On Friday, August 16.

Did you know that some delivery companies apparently believe that Tuesday, August 13th and Friday, August 16th are the same thing?

I got a call from this delivery company (who shall remain nameless, but their initials are G. E.) at work on Tuesday the 13th, a non-Friday the 16th day. They reached me at work by calling me at my work number. The phone was answered by a receptionist who gave the name of the organization and said, "How may I direct your call?" They asked for my extension and were put through to me by the receptionist.

And the man said, "Oh, good, you're at home. We're in town now with your dishwasher in our truck and we need to deliver it. Can you give us directions?"

Imagine my surprise! Friday=Tuesday and work=home! I never knew these things!

I explained that I was at work, and would not be able to accept delivery today. I further explained that the delivery arrangement had been made for Friday the 16th, still three days away, because I would be home on Friday, unlike today, Tuesday, the non-16th 13th. Or something to that effect.

He said that he couldn't make a second delivery run to the same address, he wasn't allowed to, and that I would have to accept the dishwasher today, now. So, I gave him the directions and said I would meet them there, or very soon after they got there. I planned to return to work after the "hour at the most" that they would be at my place.

When I arrived after they did, it was his turn to be surprised--that I hadn't been there to let them in.

Did you know that you get free samples of detergent and Jet Dry with a new dishwasher?

The installation team was two men--an older man (the man I had spoken to on the phone) and a young guy, just learning the job, apparently. They removed the old dishwasher and put the new one in place, and went about making the plumbing connections under the sink. The older one went outside to get something from the truck, while the younger one knelt with the top half of his body out of sight under the sink.

I heard "Oh" and saw a four-foot horizontal geyser of water shooting out parallel to the kitchen floor.

Did you know that a horizontal geyser, due to the law of gravity, eventually becomes a vertical waterfall?

Did you know that I have hardwood floors in my kitchen?

The guy under the sink became fully visible as he sat back. He made sure to be out of the way of the water, so the maximum amount could flow.

He brilliantly said, "Um."

I helpfully said, "Turn the water off!"

He said, "I can't" as he held out his hand with the bent, broken-off valve oval thingy in it. This was unfortunately now physically separate from the plumbing where it could have been used for, say, turning off water.

He also said, "How do you turn off the water for the whole unit?" (I live in a town home.)

I said, "I don't know," looking outside for any sign of his partner who didn't know Tuesday isn't the same as Friday. I remember feeling annoyed that this guy, in a plumber-ish occupation, didn't know how to turn the water off and asked me, a very much non-plumber person.

And the water gushed on.

I yelled for the guy outside and made an emergency call to the maintenance man at our complex. He showed up right away and turned the water off for my whole unit, our hero. (Now I know how to do that, too. Just in case anything, you know, Brenda-ish should ever happen to happen again...)

I set about mopping and toweling up the water as fast as I could, but the damage was done, literally. It went through to the ceiling of my roommate's basement bedroom, and that had to be repaired and repainted. It soaked into the hardwood floor in the kitchen enough to warp it, and that had to be sanded down, re-stained, and two coats of something protective and smelly had to be poured.

The delivering company did cover the costs involved with the clean up and repair, but I had to make many calls and pursue the correction of the problem for more than six months.

Oh, if you were wondering, I didn't get back to work that non-Friday Tuesday afternoon. The (real) plumber who installed the replacement valve finally left at about midnight that night.

Did you know that you don't get any additional free samples of detergent when the guys installing the dishwasher break the valve under the sink?

It's amazing the things you learn during the course of an average day!

Brenda Kern
December 17, 2003

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