People

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At what cost does your life require the filling of that hole in your heart. The one where there should be someone to turn to in hard times. The hole in your heart that should be filled with a smile, a good laugh between friends, a sly look between each other when someone else says something out of context.

The empty spot where so many emotions are stored, memories on a shelf so to speak. The place where you have Love for your husband, your children and family. That place where memories remain of loved ones past, gone so far and for so long that their faces are just like puffs of clouds in the wind, but the pain remains for the loss of their love.

Why is it so hard for some people to acquire that one true friend. The one who sticks by you through thick and thin. A person who does not judge or criticize your choices they just shake their heads and try to understand but mutter not a word. Why is this such a task, I don't understand how come I have no one? Not having some person there who is not your husband or family, but is the rope that somehow holds you together and keeps you in place. The tie that bounds you to sanity when your husband and family don't understand, they are just not able to be there for you. Some people are able to put their words down on paper and keep theirselves tethered to life this way. I find myself holding on tightly to just that, though I would find it easier in a way if I could just pick up the phone and make a call.

This life is difficult, I find myself lying beside a stranger at night. Though he is a good man, but I need to talk through my life and how it hampers me. I so wanted him to be my best friend, but best friends are supposed to listen. Life gets in the way in all relationships even friendships. Each person has their on life and seperate identity, but yet their are those few that I so envy the relationships they have with friends.

I am not what you call the most friendly person in the world. I have had friends and yes even close ones, but now I can scarcely say I have any. Life has taught me to be tough and highly protective over my family and myself. This in itself turns people away, somehow it is like my personality is intimidating. This is not what I want, but years of practice have made me an
expert.

Faith teaches us not to give up on anything, but to remain strong in all things. My hope is to one day fill that void, to be accepted as who I am. I so need a friend, Will you be my Friend?

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